Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

How Change Happens

with 2 comments

According to Leadership Council statistics, family court is placing approximately 58,500 children every year in custody or unsupervised visitation with their abusers, which means that, during the M-F week that courts are open, this happens to an average of 223 children EVERY DAY.

Each and every story we hear as leaders and directors at Protective Mothers Alliance is tragic and horrific. We as leaders have either gone through our own battles with family court, or are currently in them, so we know exactly what protective moms are facing.  We can also step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

This is a winnable war!  We can effect change!  In order to do that, we will each need to take a look at the bigger picture.  Each of us must take that first difficult step into a place of change and positive future for ourselves and all of our children.

As administrators, we see many patterns, some tragic.  Protective moms come to us.  All may be fired up to help at first.  Then  things calm down with their case and for some, volunteer time is forgotten.  Then, again the abuser takes the mom back to court and we receive a call from the mom who is now frantic and desperate for help which, at this point we cannot give.

Here is what happened in my case, and has happened with other moms.  The youngest of my three children  has recently aged out of the family court system.  I was in the system for seven years.  the terrorist did not stop until the youngest child turned eighteen  The abuse was cyclical in nature.  There were times when everything was quiet, which I never felt was a good sign…I somehow felt it was intended to give a false sense of security.  Then a new surge of abuse would start all over again.  Unfortunately, that last year when the youngest child turned seventeen was a particularly bad year.  My domestic violence advocates had told me that the abuser was using my children as weapons to get to me.  He pulled out all the stops and took advantage of the last year he had to make it a bad one for us.

One of the best things I ever did for my own health and healing was to step out and start doing advocacy.  It was frightening at first, and it was through my domestic violence agency.  I did it and I loved it!  It energized me.  I was helping others.  Now I advocate with PMA, and I feel safe doing it because Janice and Lundy take many precautions to make sure protective moms are kept safe.

Moms, the abuse will not stop until your children age out of the system, at eighteen.  But we have a wonderful opportunity right now to change this if we work together as a team.  We can put our voices together and we will be heard.

Please join us!  Even if your time is limited, we have volunteer projects that can be done in as little as one-half hour per month.  Join us, let’s do this for all the children, they are so worth it!

Deborah Simmons

Protective Mothers’ Alliance International
West Coast Regional Director

2 Responses

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  1. Thank you, Deborah, for your posting and for what you are doing on behalf of all the protective moms. By the grace of God, I come to PMA not through losing my children but by advocacy for an innocent mom, Elsa Newman. I first learned about Elsa’s situation when we met at an Earth Charter meeting in Washington, DC. As a retired CPS worker, I was astounded at what was happening to Elsa and her children. Since then I have learned that everything that had happened to her to that point was pretty much exactly what happens to thousands of moms and children in the U.S.A. and in many other countries every year.

    For Elsa Newman and her children, even worse followed. She has been in prison 9 1/2 years for a crime committed by another who has repeatedly testified and written that she acted alone and that Elsa had nothing to do with it. Meanwhile the children remain with the father they feared and told many of his abuse. Please read about the situation at http://www.justice4elsanewman.com and sign the linked petition. I believe all the moms and children are in this together so that helping one mom is the beginning of change for the thousands of others along with their children.

    Margaret Candler
    Citizens for Fairness and Justice

    Margaret Candler

    September 21, 2011 at 8:20 am

  2. I want to say THANK YOU ,, for working to make this a better place for our children and their mothers,, I was robbed of my first two children and later the three younger ones,, all because of. lies and abuse of power,, I have never given up on trying to find a way to prevent this from happening to other mothers and their children. I believe this type of situation has the power to actually take the mothers life,, the pain i unbearable, I have been Blessed with the most supportive MOTHER,, I don’t believe I would of made it through with out her loving support, She has been working along side of me all these years, she is now a member of the GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS CANADA, I am so proud to say she is my mother, and I want my children to feel the same about me one day,, I know there are women out there that don’t have a mother like mine , this causes me concern,, I don’t want any mother to give up,, and this is why I am wanting to make this better for our mothers and children,, We need to stop this, it is taking away so much from our children and sometimes even their mothers oun life,, I will give all I have to help make this a better world, our children are everything to me.They truely need our heip.. GOD BLESS PROTECTIIVE MOTHERS ALLIANCE,, PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT TO ALL..

    lesliegillespie

    February 8, 2012 at 8:36 pm


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