PMA International has launched a new series called”TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms – Ask PMA”.
Once a month, PMA International will share with our members/supporters on our official PMA International Facebook page, commonly asked questions and concerns about family court abuse, domestic abuse and personality disorder issues. Parenting tips for children of all ages whose families have been affected by the above will also be a topic of conversation.
Emphasis on peer support and drawing from our wide range of experiences on these issues is our goal. PMA International will encourage all our members and supporters to offer their insights and opinions to each situation addressed.
We are confident as this series continues you will gain knowledge, hope and discover the Protective Mother Hero within yourself and each other.
~ The PMA International Team
(We start the TIPSS series in June 2016. You may send your questions in a FB message on our FB site until further notice,link below)
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA Does Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys.
The information from this series is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter.
If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA is based on opinions and experiences only and is not meant to serve as a substitute for legal advice from a qualified professional.
For your safety, we strongly suggest you do not use any identifying information about yourself, your minor child or your legal issues.
PMA International reserves the right to edit both submissions and responses for your safety and safety of your minor child.
PMA International continues on our journey establishing ourselves as being an innovative , instrumental and groundbreaking leader in the Mothers Movement. PMA International leads the way in these areas;
1. The first organization to be international
2. The first organization to use Facebook for advocacy on family court issues
3. The first organization to use the term DV by Proxy- Domestic Violence by Proxy (DV by Proxy), is a term first used by Alina Patterson, author of Health and Healing. DV by Proxy refers to a pattern of behavior by an abuser parent with a history of domestic violence intimidation and control. This abuser parent uses the child as a substitute when he no longer has access to his former partner. This is done by manipulation and lies teaching the child to hate the targeted parent. This process is further fueled by the child’s traumatic bonding to the abuser parent.
4. The first organization to have a blog talk radio show dedicated to this issue
5. The first organization to have a no abuse zone policy
6. The first organization to combine Art with Advocacy with our original PMA projects such as Love Letters to Our Children, Unstoppable Mothers and Lundy’s original play about family court issues.
7. The first organization to use Pinterest for advocacy on family court issues.
8 The first organization led by a group of protective mother-driven advocates.
9. The first organization to recognize and promote Protective Mothers as heroes
10. The first organization to recognize and promote the teaching of critical thinking skills to our children for protection from DV By Proxy.
And, of course, the only organization co- founded by Lundy Bancroft, including his participation and full stamp of approval.
For the few who do not know who Lundy Bancroft is, please read all about him here;
PMA International is all this and so much more. Thank you to our members, Leaders and Administrators for your support in making PMA International a forward- thinking groundbreaking, organization for change. We will continue to move forward in unique and creative ways. We will continue to be innovative and think “outside the box” to raise awareness and bring positive change to family court abuse and corruption. We love and support you and your precious children…. Always
PMA International …. A family of advocates
PMA International always has safety as our leading priority. In light of this, PMA international will not release personal information and/or personal custody information about protective mothers and their children who are in active litigation. PMA International will not sponsor, endorse or support any event or activity that is engaging in the above due to the risk involved.( The only excepts to the above is at the discretion of PMA International’s Co-Founders and/or Executive Director Janice Levinson and Lundy Bancroft). PMA International advises protective mothers to be extremely cautious in revealing any personal custody details along with personal information about themselves and their children on the internet. Doing so, might prove to be very risky to you and your children’s personal safety and the outcome of your case.
Some safety tips for protective mothers to consider before deciding whether or not to reveal case details and personal information on the internet especially if you are in active litigation;
1. Posts on the internet create a historical footprint of you name and your child’s name which is very different if not impossible to remove.
2. Once your post is made public you have no control over who reads and shares your information.
3. Once your children become older they will most likely come across this information and this may affect your relationship.
4. Once older, your children’s peers will most likely come across this information and this may impact their friendships. In addition, this action may create your children being targets for bullies.
5. If you post personal details about your court case your judge and other court officials involved may read it and this might be used against you. Even if you post your information with the best of intentions, this does not mean court officials will see it the way you do.
6. You must be certain not to post your location or any information that could allow your abuser to find you or your children.
7. Do not use locator and map applications on face book and phones.
8. Be aware of pictures posted online that could reveal your location.
9. Caution your friends not to tag you in anything online that might reveal your location.
10. We all know when abusers are exposed the abuse escalates. Be careful about posting online custody information and personal details that could escalate abuse and endanger you and your children.
11. Be cautious and do your research on anyone asking for your personal and custody information. Also be very cautious with whom you decide to entrust your personal and custody information.
PMA International is an advocacy organization and we are not trying to discourage you from advocating for your personal custody case. We support protective mothers advocating for themselves in creative and cautious ways as to not endanger, themselves, their children and risk the outcome of their case.
The PMA International Team
WELCOME TO PROTECTIVE MOTHERS’ ALLIANCE INTERNATIONAL( PMA Intl. )
Protective Mothers Alliance International(PMA INTL). is an international protective mother-driven organization that includes a global network of like-minded organizations working as a team for positive change. Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) is co founded by Lundy Bancroft and Janice Levinson, with Janice Levinson as Executive Director. The PMA INTL family consists of protective mother-driven advocates working together as a tight team for change. PMA INTL is working toward bringing about dramatic reform in family court for protective mothers and their children. PMA INTL. advocates for change through education, community and media outreach and other creative strategies that may be effective and beneficial. PMA INTL. supports the efforts of protective mothers in keeping themselves and their children safe from the abuse of a former partner, and in empowering these mothers to become advocates for themselves and others. PMA INTL. has several networks/groups including but not limited to: Man Up for Moms ((M.U.M), Hear us NOW!! ( H.U.N) Healing and Prayer, STOP DV by Proxy. PMA’s very successful blog talk radio shows had over 6 thousand listeners. PMA INTl’s blog entitled: “The Guardian of Truth” continues to be an effective vehicle for education about family court abuse. Protective Mothers Alliance International has launched a gold ribbon campaign in an effort to reunite protective mothers and their children who have been separated by the family court.We invite all advocates and their allies around the globe to wear gold ribbons, to symbolize the effort that protective mothers and their allies are making to reunite children with their moms.
Please join us in supporting this campaign. ” The beautiful memories that we have of our beloved children are golden and can NEVER be erased from our hearts and minds”
PMA International’s specialty is working with abused mothers and their children who are dealing with family court injustice. This does not mean that we have an agenda against men, or that we are anti-father or that we are blind to the fact that some women and mothers can be abusers too.
When Janice Levinson and Lundy Bancroft created PMA International, there were many groups helping fathers but very few helping abused mothers in family court. Janice and Lundy created PMA International to be an organization that consists of volunteer protective mothers because they saw a need, and decided to step up and help abused mothers and their children. Creating an organization of protective mothers who advocate for positive change in family court also speaks to both Lundy and Janice’s background, expertise and personal experiences. Because PMA International is a group of protective mothers and because of our vast collective experience with family court, DV, and personality disorder issues, we are very specialized in the work we do.
Disclaimer regarding contacting PMA International;
PMA International is inundated on a daily basis with e mails and Face book messages . Although we love to hear from our valued members, please keep in mind, that PMA INTL is an all volunteer organization. The PMA INTL Administrative Assistants do their best to respond to each and every inquiry, but we find that most questions are very similar. In light of this , included on this official PMA International web page/ blog, are detailed explanations about;
1. PMA International, what we do and do not do.
2. PMA International’s mission statement
3. PMA International’s disclaimers
4. Step by step explanations on how to join PMA International
5. A suggestion list of helpful professionals dealing with family court issues
From this point forward we will still try our best to answer all questions. But because of the great volume of e mails and messages we receive we can no longer guarantee questions asked that have already been answered on this official PMA International website/ blog or on our official PMA International FB page will also be answered through e mail or Face book. If you contact us via email and/or Face book , and do not receive a response, chances are your question has already been answered on our website/ blog and/or our official FB page.
Please carefully read this website/ blog and FB page to learn more about PMA International. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.
PLEASE READ BELOW;
IMPORTANT: PMA INTL DOES NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE. The information on this website/blog is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter. If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.
PMA International is an advocacy organization. We Do Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases In Any Capacity and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys. There are many reasons why PMA International does not give advice on your personal custody case. Most importantly, if you have a good attorney that you trust, he/ she knows the specifics of your case in ways we could not. Your best and most accurate advice ( legal or practical) tailored to your specific situation would come from your attorney. We would be reluctant to give advice that may unintentionally lead you down the wrong path since we do not have all the information necessary to responsibly give said advice.
Due to the sensitive nature of the work that we do, PMA has a professional security team and a small group of attorney’s who protect our organization and our protective mothers/advocates.
PMA International is an advocacy organization, NOT a service organization for protective mothers, at this time. Since we are not a service organization, we do not offer on site, local protective mothers’ support groups, but suggest moms research low cost professional counselors in their area or specialists in PTSD, trauma or DV counseling. In our experience, protective mothers have better results turning to professionals, educated and licensed in this specialty, for healing as opposed to fellow protective mothers who are equally in need of healing and support.
In light of the fact that we are not a service organization-for security reason and per their request- we DO NOT direct people who contact us,to our state or international leaders as they are not set up to work with other protective moms by getting involved in their personal cases.( Please refer to our mission statement). Our
leaders, go through an extensive security check by our security team. Please note; the safety of PMA International’s protective mother/advocates and their children is our priority.
PMA International always has safety as our leading priority. In light of this, PMA international will not release personal information and/or personal custody information about protective mothers and their children who are in active litigation. PMA International will not sponsor, endorse or support any event or activity that is engaging in the above due to the risk involved. PMA International advises protective mothers to be extremely cautious in revealing any personal custody details along with personal information about themselves and their children on the internet. Doing so, might prove to be very risky to you and your children’s personal safety and the outcome of your case. Please read the below link for suggestions on using the internet safely while advocating for your personal custody case.
Disclaimer for Protective Mothers/Advocates and supporters who are participating in our various projects on this site;
You alone are responsibly for the protection of your identity along with the protection of the identity of your minor child while using this site. PMA Intl assumes no responsibility for the protection of your identity and/or safety and the identity and/or safety of your minor child/ children. We reserve the right to edit all posts for any reason.
Persons posting on this site are solely responsible for abiding by their specific court orders. PMA INTL is not responsibly for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from a person posting on this site who is not in compliance with an order from the court.
Important Disclaimer ;
PMA International reserves all copyright, trademark, patent, intellectual and other property rights in the information contained in PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.” and ” Love Letters For Our Children Campaign”This includes but is not limited to, all PMA International and PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers’ and” Love Letters To Our Children” specific logos and services logos and no express or implied license is granted in respect thereof. Any unauthorized access, use or reproduction of the information or proprietary rights contained in this site about these campaigns is strictly prohibited and is subject to such action as provided in applicable laws. No information on this PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign” and ” Love Letters For Our Children ” Campaign should be reproduced or distributed for another organization’s or individual’s campaign or advocacy use, without the prior written consent of PMA International. The Information is for your personal use only.
Any unauthorized copying or modification of trade-marks and/or the contents of the PMA International “Unstoppable Mothers “Campaign and ” Love Letters To Our Children” Campaign for another organization’s or individual’s use, including but not limited to, art, art exhibits, all manner of advocacy, written materials,and all manner of social media may be a violation of any law that may apply to trade-marks and/or copyrights and could subject the copier to legal action.
Images and links from all PMA International venues , including but not limited to this website/blog and all PMA International campaigns including but not limited to ” Love Letters To Our Children” and ” Unstoppable Mothers” may be used only in a social media/blog content and only when provided that full and clear credit is given to PMA International and said campaigns with appropriate and specific directions to original content.
For information about helping PMA INTL advocate for family court reform please visit the link below
Please be advised; The link below describes the only official, revised and updated, guidelines for joining PMA International. Any additional postings on any other site about this issue is outdated, null and void, and does not apply.
For a list of professional services for protective mothers dealing with family court abuse and corruption, please visit the link below. Please note the disclaimer on that page.
Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation in these matters.
You have just entered a PMA INTERNATIONAL NO ABUSE ZONE:
• PMA International stands strong on a zero tolerance approach to any type of abuse. We recognize that you cannot negotiate , work together in peace and harmony , come together in unity with abusers or those who support or enable abusive behaviour . PMA International recognizes that there are different types of abuse and abusers are not gender specific.
• PMA International is dedicated to creating a safe, supportive, abuse free environment for our family of advocates as we work together to fight family court abuse and corruption.
• PMA International is committed to treating those we work with, with kindness, respect and professionalism at all times.
• PMA International remains open to working with other organizations and advocates that share our philosophy.
• PMA International stands strong on unity within the mothers movement and desires to work with other organizations and advocates that have a history of zero tolerance of abuse regardless of gender and organizations and advocates that have a history of treating others with kindness, respect and professionalism.
• PMA International reserves the right to dismiss anyone within our organization with any history of or current abusive behaviour.
• PMA International reserves the right to refuse to work with any organization or advocate with a history of or current abusive behavior. This includes organizations and/ or advocates with a history of working with, promoting and supporting the above.
Welcome to PMA International’s Unstoppable Mothers
Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) has launched Unstoppable Mothers, a powerful photo and essay project to give voice to Protective Mothers and their Children.
The photos depict the loss and grief a Protective Mother experiences when she is forcibly separated from her child(ren) due to family court injustice, or the events she missed in the life of her child.
The essays, in Protective Moms’ own words, are common real life family court situations. Protective Mothers reveal the most outrageous action a judge took in their case. OR, the Protective Mom shares what she has missed most about not being in her child’s life.
How Can You Participate?
Protective mothers may send their quotes to the comment section on this PMA International official website/ Blog. A specific page on this PMA International website/ blog has been set up just for this project.
You may also send your quotes to the comment section of our new Unstoppable Mothers blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.
All signs, quotes, and pictures will be posted on the Unstoppable Mothers’ special page within the “Guardian Of Truth” Blog, and our new Unstoppable Mothers” blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers’ campaign
PMA International will put the Unstoppable Mother’s quote on a sign and take a picture for the project.
Some signs with quotes will be combined with missed milestone pictures taken by PMA International’s talented protective mothers, highlighting their creativity and photography skills.
Some feedback about “Unstoppable Mothers'” photo and essay project;
“Beautiful photography by talented PMA protective mothers, coupled with heartbreaking real life stories of loss in the mothers’ own words. Another stunning PMA Intl. project to raise awareness. TY Janice, Lundy and all the PMA moms!!”
“Participating in this project was very empowering and gave me hope”
“Thank you for capturing a protective mother’s powerful story through her own words and beautiful pictures .”
“Thank you for giving us moms a voice along with gorgeous visuals from talented protective mothers.”
Now that we all understand how to participate and what the ground rules are for this project, Protective Mothers’ Alliance International invites you into our project; a window to our world. We ask you to brace yourselves, step slowly into our shoes, carefully take a step , steal a tiny glimpse , and taste a tiny bite of what life is like as a protective mother. An unstoppable protective mother, enduring one of the darkest atrocities known in the history of our civilization.
PMA International’s Mothers/Advocates are working heart-to-heart and hand-to-hand with PMA INTL’s Network Hear Us Now!! ( H.U.N) to educate and communicate the deep love a mother has for her child. Our intention is to help the moms express their deep devoted love for their children, and help strengthen the mother/child bond, moving their relationship forward in a loving and positive way. This page is for protective mothers to express their love for their children.
Look at our beautiful Face Book event wall filled with love! ( link below)
Our collective mother hearts shout out to the heavens and aim straight towards our children’s hearts with beautiful words filled with tenderness, devotion and deep, powerful love.
Create an original letter or poem for your child. If you are not part of this important PMA International event, please join us.
Our blog reaches around the world, all over the internet and has over 50 thousand hits and is growing every day. Your words of love to your child will pass the test of time and remain on the internet, for all to see.
How powerful and sweet is a mothers love! A bond that no person or court can deny. Keep posting moms, keep touching hearts with your powerful words of love. You are all beautiful heroes and PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children, always.
Here is an example of a beautiful, and touching letter and poem from one of our protective moms to her precious child;
© J. L. D
No parent who loves their child, who wants to be with their child, who isn’t a threat to their child, who never abused their child, nor intentionally harmed them, should have their child ripped from them senselessly, unjustly, and to be then alienated from their child, in some cases, so severely, as though they have died, and to be left with having to beg for any knowledge or glimpse of their child, hoping and waiting on any scraps that *might* be tossed their way.
I am one mother who is exhausted from trying to cope with the knowledge that there are people so evil who carry out such cruel, evil injustice, and from having to implore the takers, the hostage holders, and their cohorts and other connected persons, of my own child, for something, anything, because something, anything, no matter how minuscule, is better than nothing at all. Facing more often than not, the abject rejection, of denial, so often given, with utter silence.
I Knew You First – © J. L. D
Before you were born, I knew you
As you grew inside me, my womb held you
You heard my voice, you heard my heart beat
I felt the flutter as you moved, and kicked with your tiny feet
Before you were born, I knew you
I had dreams, hopes, and plans for you
I sang to you, prayed for you, longed for us to meet
You my son, I your mother, forever yours to keep
I knew you first, since before you were born,
And I have loved you, and will, always, forever more.
Please Visit our Love Letters To Our Children Word Press Blog;
Please Visit our Love Letters To Our Children page;
Please also join our “Love Letters To Our Children ongoing Facebook event ( link below)
Leave a legacy of love for your child.
Protective Mother and Child Reunion:
Gold Ribbon Campaign
“The beautiful memories that we have of our beloved children are golden and can NEVER be erased from our
hearts and minds”
PMA International is promoting our ongoing Gold Ribbon Campaign in an effort to reunite protective mothers and their children who have been separated by the family courts. We encourage all advocates and their allies around the globe to wear gold ribbons, to add gold ribbons to your social networking profile picture, to display a gold ribbon on your car or any other method you are legally able to do so. This is to symbolize the effort that protective mothers and their allies are making to reunite children with their protective moms. Together we can raise awareness and make a difference. Much love PMA International.
To grab PMA International’s Gold Ribbon Campaign Badges for your social network profile, follow the links below;
PMA International continues to grow! If you want to join our fast growing family of advocates, as a PMA member/ supporter please visit our link below
You may also contact Gayle Summer PMA International’s Executive Administrative Assistant @ firstname.lastname@example.org.
PMA INTL. STATEMENTS:
PMA INTL wants to be very clear that other protective mothers are being targeted for abuse by the same individuals targeting PMA INTL. This is NOT just about PMA INTL but about protecting all protective mothers from abusive advocates within the Mothers’ Movement.
PMA INTL wants to be very clear that there is no” bickering, ” “in fighting”,” arguing” “war” or any other word that might imply mutuality about this AMPP issue. This is a common misconception about this sad situation. This is a very clear case of abuser and target This is the epitome of cyber bullying. PMA never responds in kind to these attacks, PMA in no way initiates these attacks. Understand these attacks have been going on for four years. PMA does not create hate sights targeting protective mothers for abuse. Abusers wishing to escape responsibility for the abuse perpetrated on their victim put out this misleading language. Has PMA RESPONDED a few times to defend and correct the libel put forth? Yes, we have; a few times. But for the large part we have remained silent on the issue and there is no proof of us responding in kind. This is a VERY IMPORTANT distinction that must be made. Also; because of PMA’s no abuse zone policy we do not work with abusers. This is why we do not work with AMPP and supporters/ colleagues We are in a movement FIGHTING abuse,( all forms of abuse) not CONDONING it.You cannot “negotiate” with an abuser, you cannot “bridge the gap” with an abuser; Moms have you tried to do this with your exes? How did this work out for you? We must be careful not to use the same language and mind set about the dynamics of abuser and victim as the family courts have used on us to excuse the abuse and the abuser. We must be careful not to victim blame. We must not be hypocrites as our credibility depends on us ” walking our talk” As moms we have already experienced this victim blaming with our abuser exes and family court. We must learn from our experiences and not continue the pattern and the cycle of abuse.
Hearing an accusation about PMA, Janice or Lundy ? ASK THE ACCUSER FOR PROOF if you want to know the truth. Please do not accuse anyone without proof. Gossip is dangerous. Currently, several Protective Mothers are being abused ( not just PMA), with libel and cyber bullying. Some “advocates” in the movement are supporting the abusers by promoting and working with them , staying silent, victim blaming, excusing their abuse, attempting to silence victim’s voices and more. Please stand up for what is right. Do not stay silent ASK FOR PROOF. Tell the abuser to stop!!! Hold abusers accountable. Help protective moms from being re-victimized. If you are a new protective mom looking to join a group be very very cautious, as certain advocates and groups may not be what they appear to be.
Some tips for your safety
1. Look for a no abuse zone policy posted on their website. But look for PROOF of adherence to this policy by investigating the contents of their past posts.
2.Look into past posts to see if they supported AMPP or Claudine
3. If so, look to see if a post denouncing AMPP and Claudine’s behavior was or is posted anywhere.( per Lundy’s request )
If you do not see proof of above be cautious in believing their rhetoric and be very cautious in giving out your personal info to them.A little bit of work in looking back on the advocates/ groups’ history of posts on the internet can go a long way in protecting yourself, your family court case, and your children along with keeping you and your family safe.
For further information on safety tips for protective moms please visit our post ( link below)
Let’s treat each other with kindness, respect and love. Protective Mothers’ have been through so much. Best to you all, and Thank you for your support. Stay safe.
#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case
“The judge gave full custody
to my ex despite
concerns for safety
and documented abuse.
The judge looked at me,
and said,”Let’s see how
you like this separation.”
I am being punished
for being a voice
for my children
and trying to
protect them from abuse.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2016
A Hero, Protective Mother bravely speaks out:
“I am a caged animal.
I am frantically screaming the truth
and doing everything I can
to protect my children
in a system that is
doing everything to destroy them.
I am a mother
who is terrified for her daughters!
The narcissist I was married to
was right when he said
‘If you leave, I will take everything from you! ‘
Leaving, I have lost my children,
my sanity and my freedom.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2016
Nicole, a single mother with two children, wrote “Slow Down” song the night before her son’s fifth grade graduation.She says on facebook, “I don’t know of a more uttered or whispered phrase from a mother of any age, about her child of any age, than ‘It’s going by too fast.’ I feel like I spend my life trying to slow time. Trying to celebrate the growth and the milestones of my children, and then secretly day dreaming about building a time machine in my garage, so I can return to rocking my babies at midnight. If you’ve ever looked at your child running across a field, or striding across a graduation stage, or walking down the middle aisle of a church clutching a bouquet, you’ll know why this song is special to me. Please watch the video, remembering the moments we wish we could slow down, and sharing them with those we love most.”
“Here’s to you
Every missing tooth
Every bedtime story
Here’s to Barbie cars, light saber wars
Sleeping in on Sunday
Had to crawl
Before you walked
Before you ran
Before I knew it
You were teaching me
The only thing love can
Hold hands through it
When it’s scary, you’ve got me
Won’t you stay here a minute more
I know you want to walk through the door
But it’s all too fast
Let’s make it last a little while…”
~ Nichole Nordeman
Asheville, N.C., Sept. 9, 2016 – Seth Willis Pickering stabbed his 6-year old daughter Lila to death in front of two park rangers along the Blue Ridge Parkway. When arrested, he said, “Now they will never be able to take her away from me.. She’s happier now.. it’s what she wanted.”
Pickering was involved in a custody dispute with ex-wife Ashley Pickering. Ashley left the relationship because he was abusive towards her. Ashley, who now lives in Florida, was fighting in the courts for the return of her daughter, “I went to leave and a cop was supposed to send Lila with me, and he didn’t, and I’ve been fighting with the courts and DSS.” Ashley claims that Lila was soon to return to her care.
Lila was placed in protective custody with the Buncombe County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) after being removed from her father’s care, due to his violent behavior towards another woman. Lila was placed with a local family, who she knew well. The family offered to take the child in to avoid foster care. Pickering was allowed supervised visitation.
On September 9th, Lila was picked up at the home by her father, without permission, and taken to a remote camp site. Park rangers discovered Pickering with Lila, and before they could intervene, he has stabbed her to death.
Pickering is charged with first degree murder.
Lila Pickering is described as being a happy child with a beautiful smile who nickname was “Rescue Ranger” because she was willing to help anybody. Lila would have celebrated her birthday on October 1st, there will be a celebration of her life at the local elementary school where she attended. A Go Fund Me has been created by the family to help raise money for funeral expenses.
Cindy Dabil, Lila’s grandmother says Child Protective Services in Florida and in North Carolina should have done more to protect Lila. She hopes Lila’s tragic death will serve as a call to action to better protect children from abuse, and to make changes to improve the safety of children living in state care
Happy August Birthday Month Arianna( A Birthday Wish From a Protective Mom To Her Beloved Daughter)/ Love Letters To Our Children
© K.A 2016 Love Letters To Our Children
Happy Birthday month
My Beautiful Arianna!!!
Mommy Loves you more than the Sun & the Moon!!!
You are my shining star!!
“The mother has to comply with a court order and send her child to be alone with an abusive, violent man.
This is torture for her, and for the child, when they find themselves in a frightening situation, taken from their protector and forced into contact with a man, whom they may have witnessed seeing him beat their mother or who has been abusive to them.
This is abuse by Family Court.”
“Domestic Abuse by Proxy, Family Court Abuse: Failing to Protect Children and Mothers” is a powerful and informative video released on Youtube by Family Court Abuse (UK).
This video describes how abusive ex partners will use the family court system, and manipulate the legal process, to gain control, and inflict further harm of their victims. Abusers also seek custody to cause the most damage to a former partner; by attacking her love, and maternal bond, with her child. An abuser attacks by taking a child away from their mother, and destroying their relationship. Children are also used as pawns by an abuser in other ways designed to terrorize, hurt and harass their victim.
The legal system is a minefield for an abused woman.The process of how the family court system can perpetrate and enable domestic violence to continue is also described in this video. Family court judges and professionals often lack training in domestic violence, and do not recognize the abuse. Or, the judge and professionals have been so indoctrinated in parental alienation theories, and other prejudices, that they mistake signs of abuse for parental alienation syndrome and discredit legitimate concerns. Or see the mother’s attempts to get help as a sign that something is “wrong” with her. Domestic abuse advocates and experts are rarely consulted by the court system, and a judge has the discretion to disallow or ignore evidence presented by a mother (evidence of abuse, and expert testimony is commonly discredited by judges after a mother has been falsely labelled). Obtaining legal representation is also difficult, most women go to court without an attorney because they can not afford one. An abuser with an attorney has a powerful advantage over her, and gains an ally in the legal system.
The lives of children are also endangered when Courts work to give an identified abuse custody and/or unsupervised visits. The video mentions that the Courts order “more contact than would be usual, to enable the child and father to ‘quickly establish a relationship’“. This means there is less scrutiny, and less care given to how these decisions are being made, and the effect on the child involved.
This video will be familiar to those who have experienced family court, and offers validation to what you have endured. It is also a powerful teaching tool to educate, and raise awareness, of how the family court process fails to protect victims of domestic violence and their children.
Note: The end of the video offers suggestions on how to raise awareness of family court injustices by using social media as a platform. PMA International does not offer legal advice or professional services. Reposting this video does not constitute advice or suggestion of any kind. Please use discretion, and take reasonable care, when making decisions. If you need help or legal assistance, please contact a qualified professional and/or organization.
As we travel down this path together – advocating for family court reform, we have seen an alarming trend. Protective Mothers are being re victimized.
Protective Mothers are being re victimized , not just by family court, but by the very people in which they reach out for help.
As an organization we are amazed at the number of requests for help with personal cases that we receive. Not just because we have posted everywhere that we do not get involved in personal custody cases, but because we are simply puzzled by such requests.
We are an organization of fellow Protective Moms. How can we help with a personal custody case ?
We are not a group of legal professionals or licensed educated therapists. We understand the desperation, but when we see where protective mothers are putting their trust – we cringe.
Some Protective Moms are putting their trust in people simply not qualified, educated or licensed to help in their custody case.
So with that in mind, PMA International Administrators, and Leaders put together some categories of assistance a Protective Mom would need and – in our opinion and experience – where best to go for help.
Family court is a legal forum. So unless you are going to represent yourself, you need a legal professional. These are just the facts.
It is illegal for a judge to communicate to anyone other then yourself or your legal representative about your case.
You need a good Family Court attorney who specializes in DV.
If money is an issue find legal aid in your community, University law schools or paralegal organizations.
But the point is – you need a legal professional.
If you are looking for emotional support it is best to find a qualified , licensed highly trained therapist for help. Preferably one trained in trauma and/or PTSD. Going to a fellow protective mother for emotional support is not effective, in our experience.
Trauma survivors are rarely helpful in helping other trauma survivors as they get triggered themselves hearing the other person’s story.This is simply unavoidable. A few of the consequences of the above – more often than not- is an unhealthy role reversal, or sudden withdrawal of support leading to resentment, anger and more trauma.
Do yourself a favor and avoid the above by simply finding a good highly trained trauma therapist to get the support you need and deserve.
If money is an issue, research low cost alternatives in your community. Most communities have this option. Utilize local churches for your preferred spiritual support.
If you are looking for research , best to go to a professional liscensed trusted Private Investigator. A P.I is trained and educated in what they do and has the emotional distance necessary to do a good job with a clear head.
Others may mean well when they offer their help, and they might even share a similar experience , but when you are dealing with Family Court abuse and corruption the stakes are so high and the trauma so deep that hiring a professional, highly trained, educated and licensed expert are some of the ways to limit the chances of being re victimized.
Understand, we clearly know Protective Mothers who have had bad experiences with professionals. This saddens us , but is unavoidable as in life there are no guarantees .
Also , we are not talking about professionals ordered by Family Court, but ones you research yourself, in addition to getting referrals from a trusted person.
If by chance you still get re victimized by a professional,( it happens) their governing body has a complaint process and we highly recommend you access it.
This is not the case if you are depending on a non- professional for help.
For these reasons and many others PMA International has made the decision to not get involved in personal custody cases as we are a large group of international Protective Mothers- not legal experts.
So if you are a Protective Mother, reaching out for help and your 2 choices are either a trained, educated professional, or a non professional , we suggest – take your chances with the trained professional, per our collective experience.
We understand your desperation, as we have been there. But utilizing professionals for help will give you and your children a fighting chance and may help to avoid re victimization in the process.