Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption


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Ten years ago today I was living in California, and  actively in the middle of the fight of my life. This fight was about my  continuing to be a devoted, loving mother to my beautiful, awesome biological  children. My life was stressful beyond belief. I was at the point of seeing the” writing on the wall.” I knew  I was about to lose my precious children simply because my ex was ruthless enough to take them away from me combined with the fact that he had plenty of money to do so.  Evil merged with wealth is a nasty combination to be around.I was down to a whisper of myself , as I could not eat due to fear and stress. Some people deal with intense stress by drinking, sleeping or by doing drugs. That is not me, but  I needed to keep my mind busy so I went back to school. While in school, I did not have to think about what I knew was the horror of my  future; Life without my precious children.

Thankfully,school kept me so busy that all I could do is think about the next assignment , next test. I knew it was a quick fix solution, but I simply did not know what else to do. I was in panic/ survival mode.

September 11th 2001 found me  taking an anthropology course and  on my way to class. The radio was tuned to my favorite station, hosted by   silly D.J’s who have pulled fake news stunts before that were edgy and sometimes  funny.  They came on the air and reported  that a plane crashed into the twin towers in NYC. I was appalled and thought to myself ;  now they’ve gone too far. I was upset that they would joke about such a potential event and  I do not find that type of humor funny. As I ran to class I sat down and waited for my professor. She walked in with a sick , pale look on her face and announced to us that class was cancelled due to the tragedy of the World Trade Center . I was shocked and concerned. I know many dear friends and family all living around the area. I immediately left to drive home and for the next 24 hours I was glued to the phone  making sure everyone close to me was safe.

Thankfully all my close friends and family were fine. A dear childhood friend’s husband was meant to go to work in  the WTC that day but miraculously stayed home since he was sick.

As I watched the events reenacted on TV along with the rest of the country , my heart was breaking. NYC is my favorite city in the world. The people of NYC have always received a bad rap, in my opinion. My experiences with New Yorkers – being born and raised less than one hour away-is quite different from what the media portrays. I have lived in different places enough now to gain perspective about the people of NYC. In my mind they are the warmest, kindest people around. They understand the value of teamwork and are always ready to help a tourist who looks lost with quick directions and a welcoming smile. Yes they can be blunt and honest to a fault, but I prefer to know where things stand than be in the presence of someone too ” politically correct ” to tell it like it is. I love the people of NYC and everything about that city. To me it is the greatest city in the world. To have this type of tragedy be fall this strong , vibrant place and its wonderful people paralleled my life at the time, so I felt a deep kinship for several reasons.

Just like in the WTC event, a major event in my life shattered my soul . My motherhood, my  very heart and soul was being violently destroyed . There was nothing I could do to protect myself as the perpetrator was a terrorist. He did not play by the rules of common decency . Honesty was not in his repertoire and “take no prisoners” was his philosophy. Like all terrorists he did not act alone in his plans but he  is  ultimately responsible for the execution as it was his dime funding the mission. A well thought out premeditated plan of destruction using terrorist tactics was playing out in my life and all I could do was watch helplessly. The very core of my being was violently crashing, burning and falling down into a wreckage of dust with tiny shattered pieces of heart, soul, flesh and bone mixed in. Just as in the 9/11 disaster , my personal disaster was intended for total destruction of me along with my  life, and the evil mission was very successful indeed. But what the terrorists could not foresee or plan in the WTC situation was the strength and tenacity of the wonderful   people of NYC . My personal terrorist did not foresee this of me either.

One of my favorite childhood holiday shows comes to mind;” How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” That mean evil Grinch was determined to steal the  sweet, peace-loving citizen’s of Whoville’s Christmas. He was very successful, so Christmas morning that year resulted in all the Whos waking up and greeting  a Christmas   lacking in  trees, presents, food ect.

What did they do in the face of such hate and destruction? They joined hands and sung  songs of hope , peace,  love and inspiration.

For it was never about the presents , food or trees.

It was about something a terrorist be it,  the Grinch, WTC, or my personal one, could never understand, or embrace. For my personal situation it was never about piece of paper saying I no longer have custody of my children.

I AM their mother. They came out of MY body, and I love them with every fiber of my being. No one , and certainly no piece of paper could  ever deny that truth. The love I pour out to my children is sincere, real and heals all wounds and misunderstandings. Love is stronger than any well thought out or well moneyed plan, birthed from hate  and vindictiveness could ever be.

Just like the people of NYC who have since cleaned up the rubble and rebuilt their lives, Just like the Who down in Whoville, on Christmas morning who rose up and joined together in songs of love and peace, I am moving forward with faith and love. Just like the people of NYC will not let this single event define them..nether will I. Although we all wish 9/ 11 did not happen,  we mourn the loss of lives and celebrate the heroes, the strong wonderful people of NYC will go on, to  rebuild, and be strong survivors…So will I.

In addition, I have a new mission which was birthed from the  debris of my intended destruction ; To help all the mothers and children dealing with  family court terrorists worldwide make change happen, through peace and persistence. I have confidence that through  our strength , love  and  through the tenacity of the strong  survivors that we are, we can work together as a team to make family court terrorism obsolete.

One Response

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  1. Thank you for this beautiful joining of your own story with the tragedy and destruction of the World Trade Center. Thank you most for turning it into a message of hope.

    Thank you for stalwart devotion to your mission.
    Margaret Candler
    Free this innocent mom. Sign the linked petition.

    Margaret Candler

    September 12, 2011 at 7:31 pm

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