Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

How Change Happens

with 4 comments

According to Leadership Council statistics, family court is placing approximately 58,500 children every year in custody or unsupervised visitation with their abusers, which means that, during the M-F week that courts are open, this happens to an average of 223 children EVERY DAY.

Each and every story we hear as leaders and directors at Protective Mothers Alliance is tragic and horrific. We as leaders have either gone through our own battles with family court, or are currently in them, so we know exactly what protective moms are facing.  We can also step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

This is a winnable war!  We can effect change!  In order to do that, we will each need to take a look at the bigger picture.  Each of us must take that first difficult step into a place of change and positive future for ourselves and all of our children.

As administrators, we see many patterns, some tragic.  Protective moms come to us.  All may be fired up to help at first.  Then  things calm down with their case and for some, volunteer time is forgotten.  Then, again the abuser takes the mom back to court and we receive a call from the mom who is now frantic and desperate for help which, at this point we cannot give.

Here is what happened in my case, and has happened with other moms.  The youngest of my three children  has recently aged out of the family court system.  I was in the system for seven years.  the terrorist did not stop until the youngest child turned eighteen  The abuse was cyclical in nature.  There were times when everything was quiet, which I never felt was a good sign…I somehow felt it was intended to give a false sense of security.  Then a new surge of abuse would start all over again.  Unfortunately, that last year when the youngest child turned seventeen was a particularly bad year.  My domestic violence advocates had told me that the abuser was using my children as weapons to get to me.  He pulled out all the stops and took advantage of the last year he had to make it a bad one for us.

One of the best things I ever did for my own health and healing was to step out and start doing advocacy.  It was frightening at first, and it was through my domestic violence agency.  I did it and I loved it!  It energized me.  I was helping others.  Now I advocate with PMA, and I feel safe doing it because Janice and Lundy take many precautions to make sure protective moms are kept safe.

Moms, the abuse will not stop until your children age out of the system, at eighteen.  But we have a wonderful opportunity right now to change this if we work together as a team.  We can put our voices together and we will be heard.

Please join us!  Even if your time is limited, we have volunteer projects that can be done in as little as one-half hour per month.  Join us, let’s do this for all the children, they are so worth it!

Deborah Simmons

Protective Mothers’ Alliance International
West Coast Regional Director

4 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Thank you, Deborah, for your posting and for what you are doing on behalf of all the protective moms. By the grace of God, I come to PMA not through losing my children but by advocacy for an innocent mom, Elsa Newman. I first learned about Elsa’s situation when we met at an Earth Charter meeting in Washington, DC. As a retired CPS worker, I was astounded at what was happening to Elsa and her children. Since then I have learned that everything that had happened to her to that point was pretty much exactly what happens to thousands of moms and children in the U.S.A. and in many other countries every year.

    For Elsa Newman and her children, even worse followed. She has been in prison 9 1/2 years for a crime committed by another who has repeatedly testified and written that she acted alone and that Elsa had nothing to do with it. Meanwhile the children remain with the father they feared and told many of his abuse. Please read about the situation at and sign the linked petition. I believe all the moms and children are in this together so that helping one mom is the beginning of change for the thousands of others along with their children.

    Margaret Candler
    Citizens for Fairness and Justice

    Margaret Candler

    September 21, 2011 at 8:20 am

  2. I want to say THANK YOU ,, for working to make this a better place for our children and their mothers,, I was robbed of my first two children and later the three younger ones,, all because of. lies and abuse of power,, I have never given up on trying to find a way to prevent this from happening to other mothers and their children. I believe this type of situation has the power to actually take the mothers life,, the pain i unbearable, I have been Blessed with the most supportive MOTHER,, I don’t believe I would of made it through with out her loving support, She has been working along side of me all these years, she is now a member of the GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS CANADA, I am so proud to say she is my mother, and I want my children to feel the same about me one day,, I know there are women out there that don’t have a mother like mine , this causes me concern,, I don’t want any mother to give up,, and this is why I am wanting to make this better for our mothers and children,, We need to stop this, it is taking away so much from our children and sometimes even their mothers oun life,, I will give all I have to help make this a better world, our children are everything to me.They truely need our heip.. GOD BLESS PROTECTIIVE MOTHERS ALLIANCE,, PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT TO ALL..


    February 8, 2012 at 8:36 pm

  3. I agree. I’m in it with you.

    I’ve emailed and called for help and when I realized how swamped you must be, to ask how I can help, but there was no reply.

    Is there a better way to reach connect?

    I just lost my son to our abuser and I have a huge well of energy I need to channel proactively. It was textbook legal abuse, documented d.v., child discloses other abuse, abuser plays victim, PAS allegations/our attorney bails as soon after spending last 50k/got slaughtered pro se.

    I have to do something proactive to shift this ignorance. How do we connect?


    September 28, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    • Hello. First, we are so sorry for what you have gone through. So many are in a similar situation.
      Thank you for your interest in PMA International. Please carefully read the first page on this site. Some of the info is also copied below, but we recommend you read our first page in it’s entirety.

      Disclaimer regarding contacting PMA International;
      PMA International is inundated on a daily basis with e mails and Face book messages . Although we love to hear from our valued members, please keep in mind, that PMA INTL is an all volunteer organization. The PMA INTL Administrative Assistants do their best to respond to each and every inquiry, but we find that most questions are very similar. In light of this , included on this official PMA International web page/ blog, are detailed explanations about;
      1. PMA International, what we do and do not do.
      2. PMA International’s mission statement
      3. PMA International’s disclaimers
      4. Step by step explanations on how to join PMA International
      5. A suggestion list of helpful professionals dealing with family court issues

      From this point forward we will still try our best to answer all questions. But because of the great volume of e mails and messages we receive we can no longer guarantee questions asked that have already been answered on this official PMA International website/ blog or on our official PMA International FB page will also be answered through e mail or Face book. If you contact us via email and/or Face book , and do not receive a response, chances are your question has already been answered on our website/ blog and/or our official FB page.
      Please carefully read this website/ blog and FB page to learn more about PMA International. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

      For information about helping PMA INTL advocate for family court reform please visit the link below

      Please be advised; The link below describes the only official, revised and updated, guidelines for joining PMA International. Any additional postings on any other site about this issue is outdated, null and void, and does not apply.
      Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: