Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

In Defense of Motherhood/ Let Children Play

with 3 comments

When I left work to raise my son and then the two children that followed, I struggled with the nagging feeling that the world would move on, leaving me behind valueless and forgotten. After all I wasn’t caring for the dying or staging corporate take overs. I was making peanut butter sandwiches and staging sit ins on the bathroom floor, declaring to my toddler, “We won’t be leaving this bathroom until you have peed in that potty!”
Sure, teaching a child appropriate bladder control was important, but I didn’t believe it was as important as my work experience. After all I was saving the world before. Now I was just trying to save one last cashmere sweater from being ruined by baby goo.
Then, one day between the school work and the tantrums, I had a revelation. What I was doing, right here, right now, coaxing a wailing child away from an empty box of cookies, was important. It was more than important. I was molding a  person to become an individual who could value the importance of the last cookie! No, more than that.  As a mother I was shaping, like clay, the futures of my children.
I was stunned at the profundity of my role.
Sadly, we live in a time and place that doesn’t value motherhood. Instead we push our kids out the door to school and lessons at an earlier and earlier age, robbing them of time with mother.Why have we so deeply devalued the time spent at home with mother?
Instead of respecting the intimate bond of mother and child we encourage society to step in and parent as mom steps out to go back to work.
The over aggression of our academic, financial and social culture, doesn’t encourage kids to play, explore and respect their innate qualities. It teaches our kids they have something they need to learn in order to be successful.
This sets women, like me, up to believe that what I have to offer as a mother simply is not enough. Since it didn’t require years of experience or education to get this job or a glossy resume and cover letter, then what is it’s value? One doesn’t get paid for being a mother. We can’t buy stock in mothers or their children. “So what’s the point? What value do they have?”, our society asks. And with this smugness, we actively promote women going to work and allowing day cares and schools and after school programs to raise our kids.
Are there mothers who have to work? Yes. This has always been true. Throughout history there have been examples of women who have worked, but never as this been revered as the culture norm. Never has this been hailed as a societal success and I believe we need to question whether it truly is. Take one look at the state of our educational system, the rise of bullying, the over use of technology in our kids lives and you will see that more parental involvement would greatly reduce some of these problems.
Am I advocating that women not have the right or the choice to work? No. I know there are some women who are passionate about their careers. If they choose this, they should have the same benefits in that job as any man.
However, when will we put down the blow horn, step off the soap box and realize having equality isn’t necessarily the answer to power, strength and freedom. In fact what mothers bring to the table is strength. It is power, but not in the sense that we currently evaluate those qualities.
I know there are other mothers who have struggled with the same misunderstanding about their value at home, but this societal cancer didn’t start with us. It has been growing for a very long time. Now in order to return to balance and begin to recognize the true importance of motherhood, we must value the work mothers do in the their families to the exclusion of corporate profit and commercialism. If we don’t, we will have no one but ourselves to blame for the corporate take over of childhood. What use will there be for mothers? Mothers will be workers and children will be indoctrinated products of an assembly line education and value system.
Today I will be climbing on top of the hood of my mini van and declare to the school parking lot that I believe in the defense of motherhood. I believe that more women want the chance to mold, shape and care for their kids. We need a social, political and work force structure that allows more mothers more time with their families. We need to embrace the importance of motherhood. Our kids are in desperate need of the guidance.
Posted by at 6:28 AM 

3 Responses

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  1. Wow your words are so articulate and resonate in my heart as mom with three kids who worked full time, part-time, big commute, big job, local commute, smaller jobs/part-time and consulting from home with flex hours to work around kids and their needs. Great story in how moms are not valued for what they give to the children and the community (school, society and local too).

    Renee Petro

    January 21, 2012 at 12:53 am

  2. All Hail Megan! This is what I think about everyday, seeing kids out of hand, disconnected, etc etc..they NEED their mothers to be with them. Not strangers raising them. This country and what it is becoming disgusts me more everyday. My value as MOTHER to my children, the woman who did put down everything to be there 24/7 for 12 years was completely disregarded when the judge gave my husband (the big bread winner–thanks to me taling care of everything else so he could advance) MY kids….he didn’t even know how to make a flippin’ doctor appointment, oh but he knew how to abuse us! I appalled at this world and what its becoming our children NEED us….a child who isn’t in close contact and rearing from its mother is a lost child a WEAK child, a child who grows up weak and can be controlled by it’s government.see a theme here? I do!


    January 21, 2012 at 1:34 am

  3. I want to say thank you for this post, I have always felt this way about the value of us stay at home mothers have, sad to see that alot of people don’t even realize this value ,, if one asked the child what they would prefer I am sure that they would wish for their mother to be home also rather than the money it brings,, I also realize that yes some moms do have to work ,, however there are ways to make money from home and work around the children,, so you could spent as much time as possible during the day with your child,, I also agree the values we teach them on a daily basis they would not learn else where,,, these values come from us… their mothers something money can not buy,,, thank you again for helping others to see the light in this ,,, Take care ,, PEACE, LOVE AND LIGHT TO YOU ,,XO

    Leslie Gillespie

    January 21, 2012 at 5:12 am

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