Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

Exposed by My Children for What I Really Look Like / Huff Post Parents

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One of the many reasons children are so awesome! They only see your heart —- PMA International

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridgette-white/exposed-by-my-children-for-what-i-really-look-like_b_5613551.html?ref=topbar

My first reaction is shock. Who took this hideous picture of me?

Screen Shot 2014-07-27 at 3.15.39 AM

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit “delete,” my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful lying there. I couldn’t help it, Mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But Mom, seriously, look how pretty you look!”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.

My daughter walks over and takes a look.

“That could be a postcard, Mom,” she says smiling. “You’re so beautiful. I love it.”

I take a deep breath.

This is exactly what I needed.

My default mode is to see and focus on my flaws and imperfections. I’m starting to see a bit more.

I still see my dimply, fat thighs.

I also see a mom collapsed on the shore who just explored the lake for hours with her children.

I still see chubby arms.

I also see the arms of a mom who just helped her kids across the rocks and hot sand so their feet wouldn’t hurt.

I still see a fat woman wearing a black dress bathing suit to try to hide her weight issue.

I also see an adventurous mom who loves her children something fierce.

Like many women, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. It’s not something that will ever go away for me. I don’t have a naturally slim body. Never have.

Right now I’m the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years. Yet…

I have not let my weight stop me this time. I am wearing tank tops, sundresses and bathing suits in public. I’m running around playing with my kids this summer and I sometimes even feel attractive.

Yes. You heard me.

“I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright!”

Screen Shot 2014-06-14 at 12.31.25 AM

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

July 27, 2014 at 10:44 am

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