Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like

with 6 comments

What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like in Parental Alienation Syndrome.

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What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like?

Copyright 1998 by Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.

The child has a relentless hatred for towards the targeted parent.
The child parrots the Obsessed Alienator, and makes statements against the targeted parent.
The child does not want to visit or spend any time with the targeted parent.
Many of the child’s beliefs are enmeshed with the alienator.
The child’s stated beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational.
The child is not intimidated by the court.
Frequently, the child’s reasons are not based on personal experiences with the targeted parent. Instead, the reasons reflect what the child is told by the Obsessed Alienator.The child has difficulty making any differentiation between the two.
The child has no ambivalence in his feelings; it’s all hatred, with no ability to see the good. (Black and White thinking)
The child has no capacity to feel guilty about how he or she behaves toward the targeted parent; The child cannot forgive any past indiscretions or parenting mistakes.
The child shares the Obsessed Alienator’s cause. Together, they are in lockstep to denigrate the hated parent.
The child’s obsessional hatred extends to the targeted parent’s extended family without any guilt or remorse.
The child can appear like any other normal and healthy child — until asked about the targeted parent, which then triggers the child’s hatred.

* For more information about alienated children,see ‘Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienating’, Dr.Douglas (Doug) Darnall Ph.D.

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PMA supporter/member

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

September 26, 2014 at 10:28 pm

6 Responses

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  1. TY for this! this is EXACTLY how my daughter treated me, and still does. Very painful way for a parent to live. We need all the validation and support we can get. I don’t understand why some in the mother’s movement still deny alienation exists. Why? When even everyone’s hero, Lundy Bancroft know it does. His quote from “Why Does He Do That?…” ” Children are subject to traumatic bonding with the abuser, just as their mothers are” Traumatic Bonding= dv by proxy = stockholm syndrome = parental alienation = alienation. All terms meaning the same action by abuser parents. Again TY PMA for being courageous enough to go against the tide of the misinformed, and speak the truth.


    September 27, 2014 at 2:28 am

  2. Hit it right on the nail !


    September 27, 2014 at 2:32 am

  3. OMG- my life exactly


    September 27, 2014 at 2:34 am

  4. “The child’s stated beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational”………Oh yeah and it’s crazy making for the targeted parent. My daughter has not spoken to me in five years due to this. Her reasons? She says with a straight face; ‘ you got lost taking me to my new friends’ birthday party when I was 10″ . Other ” excuses” just as ridiculous as this is ,in her traumatically bonded mind, a reason to cut off all contact from her loving mother. Oh I know all about parental alienation from a protective mother’s point of view. I live the horror and pain of it everyday.


    September 27, 2014 at 2:53 am

  5. Some things I noticed with my children…
    – The child may be depressed, anxious, withdrawn or have mood swings.
    – The child is good at reading the emotions of people around them, and can feed into the expectations of others while suppressing their own thoughts and feelings.
    -The child may lash out or rebel the alienating parent…the alienator’s response is commonly to label the child as “crazy” and attempt to medicate or institutionalize them. The alienator may seek to limit your contact or visitation, saying you are to blame for the child’s behavior. The alienator may reject the child. Or, may escalate the abuse as a way to regain control.
    -The child is rewarded for engaging in behavior that is hurtful, disrespectful or defiant to you. You may notice your child is getting expensive gifts or money for no apparent reason. Or activities and spending time with friends is scheduled during your parenting time. Or the efforts and things you do for the child don’t seem to matter because they are being so bombarded with promises, gifts or material things from the other parent.
    -You are told the child is too fragile or can’t handle having parenting time with you. Yet the child is able to easily socialize and form relationships with others. The child is being coached or reinforced by the ex to not cooperate with visits or to fear coming home.

    Sending hugs and prayers to all the Protective Moms and their precious children. This is so hard to deal with but at least we have each other for support 🙂

    EJ Perth

    September 27, 2014 at 12:27 pm

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