The Well-Versed Child of a Narcissist/ Surviving Narcissism – by Jesse Blayne
The article below was originally posted on Surviving Narcissism and was written by Jesse Blayne ( link below)
The well-versed child of a narcissist knows never to get his hopes up. He grows up believing that it’s better never to count on people.
If he trusts at all, he’ll only trust a handful of folks. Often he’ll choose to trust only a few close friends instead of relations.
The well-versed child of a narcissist develops a wicked sense of humor. She’s been laughing at dysfunction since she was old enough to understand it.
She’s able to see what makes people tick. She knows who to stay away from, and who to develop relationships with, believing that her energy ought to be saved for a select group. She won’t have a lot of friends. She doesn’t want to risk being vulnerable. But for those in her inner circle, she’ll give her whole heart.
The well-versed child of a narcissist learns at an early age that his preferences don’t matter. He’ll grow up making excuses for liking certain things. He’ll often apologize for taking up space, or taking too long to tie his shoes, or say he’s sorry for wanting a different book. It’ll take a special person to convince him that he matters, that his preferences are as important as the next guy’s, and that he’s entitled to take up as much space in this world as anyone else. Until that person comes along, he’ll feel like an inconvenience.
The well-versed child of a narcissist sees through image. She isn’t impressed by status. She wouldn’t walk across the street to meet a pop star. She grew up surrounded by smoke and mirrors. Only authenticity speaks to her. She is not at all interested in the games people play.
The well-versed child of a narcissist can walk through a crowd and immediately identify the martyrs, the drama queens, the victims and the narcissists. He grew up with the dark side of the human psyche. Nothing surprises him anymore. If he’s lucky, he won’t always expect the worst out of folks. If she’s wary, she’ll pass up many relationships, believing she has to dig deep before she finds the good in a person.
If the well-versed child of a narcissist calls you his friend, you are unique. You’ve passed his tests. You’ve proven you can be trusted. You’ve shown that you are genuine. You are true to your word and your sense of humor can keep up with his. If you are the trusted friend of a child of a narcissist, you’ve been given a rare opportunity to witness courage, strength and resiliency.