Take Back Your Life; Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships / Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias
Family cults are where the head of the family uses excessive persusion and control techniques to keep the family functioning as he sees fit…These small cults and cultic abusive relationships tend to be more intense on their effect on the individual member than the larger group cult for the simple reason that all the
attention-and abuse- is focused on one or several persons often with more damaging consequences. Also women are primarily the victims in these relationships…..Most people do not like to think of their family as a cult, and they will rationalize away inner suspicions or fend off criticisms or observations by relatives and friends.
One important factor to keep in mind is that abuse does not have to be physical.In many cases it may be verbal or emotional. This seemingly less severe abuse often leads the victim to doubt her reaction because she is not being physically attacked and may not be able to explain the abuse to herself or others. Margaret Singer used to call ths the “gaslight effect”
..An abused partner must submit to the following abuses and/or behaviors:
Early verbal, physical and/or sexual dominance
Fear arousal and maintenance
Guilt induction
Contingent expressions of “love”
Enforced loyalty to the agressor
Promotion of powerlessness and helplessness
Pathological expressions of jealousy
Hope instilling behaviors
isolation/imprisonment
Required secrecy
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