Archive for the ‘advice’ Category
As we travel down this path together – advocating for family court reform, we have seen an alarming trend. Protective Mothers are being re victimized.
Protective Mothers are being re victimized , not just by family court, but by the very people in which they reach out for help.
As an organization we are amazed at the number of requests for help with personal cases that we receive. Not just because we have posted everywhere that we do not get involved in personal custody cases, but because we are simply puzzled by such requests.
We are an organization of fellow Protective Moms. How can we help with a personal custody case ?
We are not a group of legal professionals or licensed educated therapists. We understand the desperation, but when we see where protective mothers are putting their trust – we cringe.
Some Protective Moms are putting their trust in people simply not qualified, educated or licensed to help in their custody case.
So with that in mind, PMA International Administrators, and Leaders put together some categories of assistance a Protective Mom would need and – in our opinion and experience – where best to go for help.
Family court is a legal forum. So unless you are going to represent yourself, you need a legal professional. These are just the facts.
It is illegal for a judge to communicate to anyone other then yourself or your legal representative about your case.
You need a good Family Court attorney who specializes in DV.
If money is an issue find legal aid in your community, University law schools or paralegal organizations.
But the point is – you need a legal professional.
If you are looking for emotional support it is best to find a qualified , licensed highly trained therapist for help. Preferably one trained in trauma and/or PTSD. Going to a fellow protective mother for emotional support is not effective, in our experience.
Trauma survivors are rarely helpful in helping other trauma survivors as they get triggered themselves hearing the other person’s story.This is simply unavoidable. A few of the consequences of the above – more often than not- is an unhealthy role reversal, or sudden withdrawal of support leading to resentment, anger and more trauma.
Do yourself a favor and avoid the above by simply finding a good highly trained trauma therapist to get the support you need and deserve.
If money is an issue, research low cost alternatives in your community. Most communities have this option. Utilize local churches for your preferred spiritual support.
If you are looking for research , best to go to a professional liscensed trusted Private Investigator. A P.I is trained and educated in what they do and has the emotional distance necessary to do a good job with a clear head.
Others may mean well when they offer their help, and they might even share a similar experience , but when you are dealing with Family Court abuse and corruption the stakes are so high and the trauma so deep that hiring a professional, highly trained, educated and licensed expert are some of the ways to limit the chances of being re victimized.
Understand, we clearly know Protective Mothers who have had bad experiences with professionals. This saddens us , but is unavoidable as in life there are no guarantees .
Also , we are not talking about professionals ordered by Family Court, but ones you research yourself, in addition to getting referrals from a trusted person.
If by chance you still get re victimized by a professional,( it happens) their governing body has a complaint process and we highly recommend you access it.
This is not the case if you are depending on a non- professional for help.
For these reasons and many others PMA International has made the decision to not get involved in personal custody cases as we are a large group of international Protective Mothers- not legal experts.
So if you are a Protective Mother, reaching out for help and your 2 choices are either a trained, educated professional, or a non professional , we suggest – take your chances with the trained professional, per our collective experience.
We understand your desperation, as we have been there. But utilizing professionals for help will give you and your children a fighting chance and may help to avoid re victimization in the process.
PMA International has launched a new series called”TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms – Ask PMA”.
Once a month, PMA International will share with our members/supporters on our official PMA International Facebook page, commonly asked questions and concerns about family court abuse, domestic abuse and personality disorder issues. Parenting tips for children of all ages whose families have been affected by the above will also be a topic of conversation.
Emphasis on peer support and drawing from our wide range of experiences on these issues is our goal. PMA International will encourage all our members and supporters to offer their insights and opinions to each situation addressed.
We are confident as this series continues you will gain knowledge, hope and discover the Protective Mother Hero within yourself and each other.
~ The PMA International Team
(We start the TIPSS series in June 2016. You may send your questions in a FB message on our FB site until further notice,link below)
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA Does Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys.
The information from this series is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter.
If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA is based on opinions and experiences only and is not meant to serve as a substitute for legal advice from a qualified professional.
For your safety, we strongly suggest you do not use any identifying information about yourself, your minor child or your legal issues.
PMA International reserves the right to edit both submissions and responses for your safety and safety of your minor child.