Archive for the ‘child custody’ Category
Asheville, N.C., Sept. 9, 2016 – Seth Willis Pickering stabbed his 6-year old daughter Lila to death in front of two park rangers along the Blue Ridge Parkway. When arrested, he said, “Now they will never be able to take her away from me.. She’s happier now.. it’s what she wanted.”
Pickering was involved in a custody dispute with ex-wife Ashley Pickering. Ashley left the relationship because he was abusive towards her. Ashley, who now lives in Florida, was fighting in the courts for the return of her daughter, “I went to leave and a cop was supposed to send Lila with me, and he didn’t, and I’ve been fighting with the courts and DSS.” Ashley claims that Lila was soon to return to her care.
Lila was placed in protective custody with the Buncombe County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) after being removed from her father’s care, due to his violent behavior towards another woman. Lila was placed with a local family, who she knew well. The family offered to take the child in to avoid foster care. Pickering was allowed supervised visitation.
On September 9th, Lila was picked up at the home by her father, without permission, and taken to a remote camp site. Park rangers discovered Pickering with Lila, and before they could intervene, he has stabbed her to death.
Pickering is charged with first degree murder.
Lila Pickering is described as being a happy child with a beautiful smile who nickname was “Rescue Ranger” because she was willing to help anybody. Lila would have celebrated her birthday on October 1st, there will be a celebration of her life at the local elementary school where she attended. A Go Fund Me has been created by the family to help raise money for funeral expenses.
Cindy Dabil, Lila’s grandmother says Child Protective Services in Florida and in North Carolina should have done more to protect Lila. She hopes Lila’s tragic death will serve as a call to action to better protect children from abuse, and to make changes to improve the safety of children living in state care
December 2014, Orlando, Florida: 13 year Gregory Jean Jr. is returned to his mother after being kidnapped, and hidden behind a fake wall. He was missing for 4 agonizing years.
Father, Gregory Jean Sr. and step-mother, Samantha Davis are accused of kidnapping Gregory Jean Jr. from his mother, who had custody, when he went to visit them near Atlanta.
Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis. (Source: American Urban Radio Networks, http://www.aurn.com1)
Gregory Jean Jr. was abused and hidden behind a fake wall. He was given a cell phone to contact friends, and only allowed to talk to his mother after being coached on what to say. Jean Jr. then gained the courage to use that phone to contact his mother, and alert police to rescue him.
Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis face charges of child cruelty, false imprisonment and obstruction.
#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case
” My ex-husband sexually abused my daughter. The court said there wasn’t ‘enough’ evidence, so I put a recorder in the overnight bag to get the evidence.
He took the recorder to the police and I was convicted of Felony Wire-tapping.
I am a felon and he still gets to see our daughter every week.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2016
“The child’s misidentification of authentic sadness is being created by the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent. The child’s authentic sadness and grief are being transformed by the manipulative pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent into “anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes.” Dr Childress
I am working as hard and as fast as I can to bring this nightmare of “parental alienation” to an end – for all children and for all families. My next blog post will be significant in moving our fight for your children forward. In the meantime, I was asked by a targeted parent if I could write a letter to the children explaining things to them. So I did.
For a variety of reasons, I can’t actually write a specific letter to your specific child in your specific family. But I can write a general letter to a general child in a general family. And this is what I did.
I wanted to speak directly to the child (an adolescent between the ages of 13-17), so I had to make four versions of the letter, one for a daughter who is rejecting her mom (A Letter to Mary) and one for a son who is rejecting his mom (A Letter to Jason), one for a daughter who is rejecting her dad (A Letter to Jessica), and one for a son who is rejecting his dad (A Letter to John). They’re all the same, but it simplifies the use of pronouns. I think of this as my “Letter to Mary” series, since this is the one I started with.
Until we can protect your children we cannot ask them to reveal their authenticity. They have to survive in the psychologically dangerous upside-down world of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent, where night is day, and black is white, where truth and reality shift with the needs of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent.
Fundamentally, though, the problem for the child is a misidentified and unprocessed grief response (the famed attachment theorist, John Bowlby, referred to it as “disordered mourning”). The child’s misidentification of authentic sadness is being created by the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent. The child’s authentic sadness and grief are being transformed by the manipulative pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent into “anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes.”
From Kernberg (1975): “The [narcissist’s] need to control the idealized objects, to use them in attempts to manipulate and exploit the environment and to “destroy potential enemies,” is linked with inordinate pride in the “possession” of these perfect objects totally dedicated to the patient.” (p. 33)
From Kernberg (1975) “They [narcissists] are especially deficient in genuine feelings of sadness and mournful longing; their incapacity for experiencing depressive reactions is a basic feature of their personalities. When abandoned or disappointed by other people they may show what on the surface looks like depression, but which on further examination emerges as anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes, rather than real sadness for the loss of a person whom they appreciated.” (p. 229)
In normal-range divorces, parents help their children understand and process the children’s sadness and grief surrounding the divorce. This is what parents are supposed to do. But the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent has no empathy for the child, and instead manipulates the child’s authentic sadness into anger, into blaming and resentment toward the other parent in order to exploit the child’s anger as a weapon against the other parent.
About the only thing I might be able to do for the child caught in the loyalty conflict imposed by a narcissistic/(borderline) parent is to do for the child what a normal-range parent should do, help the child understand his or her authentic hurt, and sadness, and grief beneath the anger and blaming. So that’s what I tried to do in these letters to the children. It may not be successful and it may not help. But it’s the most I can do until we are able to protect the children from the psychopathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent.
The four versions of the letter are up on my website, down at the very bottom. Direct links are:
A Letter to Mary (mother/daughter):
A Letter to Jason (mother/son):
A Letter to Jessica (father/daughter):
A Letter to John (father/son):
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
Kernberg, O.F. (1975). Borderline conditions and pathological narcissism. New York: Aronson.
#2. What hurts you the most about not being in your child’s life…
“Due to the injustices of the courts,
I am not a part of my baby’s special day.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2014
Appeal Denied After Court Rules That Child Can Be Circumcised, Orders Mom Not To Tell Her Son That She Opposes
This article was originally posted on the Inquisitr
( link below)
A court in Florida ordered that a four-year-old boy’s father, Dennis Nebus, has the right to have him circumcised even though his mother opposes the circumcision. Chase Ryan Nebus-Hironimus is a Palm Beach County boy. He turned four on Oct. 31. Last month, the state appeals court ruled that the father could proceed with the circumcision, but according to the Sun Sentinel on Friday, the boy had not been circumcised yet. The boys mother, backed by emotional and financial support from online groups affiliated with the websites Saving Chase and Bloodstained Men, vowed to try to take the case to the Florida Supreme Court to prevent her son from being circumcised.
As the case unfolded over the last year, other anti-routine-circumcision activists, known as intactivists, also rallied behind Heather Hironimus, Chase’s mother, and helped to support her legal expenses. Intactivists and other supporters of Chase’s mom’s efforts created a social media campaign using the hashtag #SavingChase.
During the progression of the court case, Chase’s mother was given a gag order by Circuit Judge Jeffrey Dana Gillen, according to the Palm Beach New Times, who said he would allow the circumcision because “there is no reason” not to. Chase’s mom was not to discuss the matter publicly, and she was also warned that she was not to let on to her son Chase that she opposed the idea of him being circumcised. Inquisitr covered the details of the story until that point last month.
It appears as though the Florida Supreme Court will not end up deciding on whether or not Chase will be circumcised, though. On Friday, the 4th District Court of Appeal in West Palm Beach Friday denied the request of Chase’s mother to bring the case before the highest court in the state.
“It’s unfortunate the court decided the way that it did,” Rebecca Wald, a Fort Lauderdale intactivist, told the Sun Sentinel. “Circumcision is bad enough — but when you have a 4-year-old boy who is terrified to lose part of his penis and will remember it for the rest of his life, it’s insanity.”
On Tuesday, in an email to the Sun Sentinel, the father’s attorney refused comment saying it is “a family matter.” Chase’s father has commented that the reason he wants his son circumcised is, because it’s the “normal thing to do.” The boys mother was not at liberty to discuss her feelings on the trial and Chase’s probability of being circumcised due to the gag order.