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A Protective Mother killed her toddler and herself rather than surrender custody

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https://fox28spokane.com/mom-left-note-saying-system-fail…/…
NEWPORT, Del. (AP) — A Delaware woman who killed her toddler and herself rather than surrender custody left a note to judges, lawyers and her family accusing the system of failing to protect them from domestic abuse.

 

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

March 29, 2019 at 9:28 pm

HEART TORN IN TWO BY M.R.M (POETRY)/ Love Letters To Our Children

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Though I didn’t know you, still you grew a part of me, suddenly aware of the child within, wondering Who would you be like and how would you react…
as years gone by colored by the lies you were told, when would that truth I knew as fact unfold?
First it was my body that surrounded you so close, then it was my womb that protected you with every battered dose,
I crawled on hands and knees to try and get away, from the biological co-creator who kicked, slapped and strangled me.
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It wasn’t myself for whom I was concerned, it was the unborn child who may never know just how much hate their mother had to endure.
Did it make me strong, or was I too weak to be bold? The depths of despair of a woman pregnant with new life, only tears of fear that threatened daily that scared wife.
So whatever it is I didn’t tell you, this you must know, It was your life that saved mine with every hit I took, and I’m so very sorry for all the horrors that horrid man I call a crook.
Think what you want but someday you shall see, God gave me you, despite the violent abuse against me.
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Forever my Love goes on and my heart is torn in two, simply because of your resentment for my doing whatever I knew how to do.
Surviving is not thriving, and freedom was a fight, every day I think of you and forgiveness is my plight.
I left that man who bruised every part of who I was, and now I live to shout and fight for what is noble and what is right.
You my dear child I cry for in the middle of each night.
With Love yesterday, today and every tomorrow, Your Mom xoxo
                                                                             © M.R.M 2017 Love Letters To Our ChildrenScreen Shot 2017-04-20 at 8.39.58 PM
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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 23, 2017 at 7:14 pm

Father With History of Abuse Kills Daughter, Says ‘She’s Happier Now’

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Lila Pickering, Image Retrieved from Go Fund Me: https://www.gofundme.com/2gk8fm24

Lila Pickering, Image Retrieved from Go Fund Me: https://www.gofundme.com/2gk8fm24

Asheville, N.C., Sept. 9, 2016 – Seth Willis Pickering stabbed his 6-year old daughter Lila to death in front of two park rangers along the Blue Ridge Parkway. When arrested, he said, “Now they will never be able to take her away from me.. She’s happier now.. it’s what she wanted.”

Pickering was involved in a custody dispute with ex-wife Ashley Pickering. Ashley left the relationship because he was abusive towards her. Ashley, who now lives in Florida, was fighting in the courts for the return of her daughter, “I went to leave and a cop was supposed to send Lila with me, and he didn’t, and I’ve been fighting with the courts and DSS.” Ashley claims that Lila was soon to return to her care.

Lila was placed in protective custody with the Buncombe County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) after being removed from her father’s care, due to his violent behavior towards another woman. Lila was placed with a local family, who she knew well. The family offered to take the child in to avoid foster care. Pickering was allowed supervised visitation.

On September 9th, Lila was picked up at the home by her father, without permission, and taken to a remote camp site. Park rangers discovered Pickering with Lila, and before they could intervene, he has stabbed her to death.

Pickering is charged with first degree murder.

Lila Pickering is described as being a happy child with a beautiful smile who nickname was “Rescue Ranger” because she was willing to help anybody. Lila would have celebrated her birthday on October 1st, there will be a celebration of her life at the local elementary school where she attended. A Go Fund Me has been created by the family to help raise money for funeral expenses.

Cindy Dabil, Lila’s grandmother says Child Protective Services in Florida and in North Carolina should have done more to protect Lila. She hopes Lila’s tragic death will serve as a call to action to better protect children from abuse, and to make changes to improve the safety of children living in state care

Read More:

‘It’s what she wanted’: Dad in custody battle kills daughter in front of park rangers, police say/

Johnston students, staff grieve for girl killed on parkway

6-YEAR-OLD GIRL KILLED BY FATHER AFTER LOSING BITTER CUSTODY BATTLE

Missing 4 Years: Kidnapped Boy Hidden Behind Wall, Rescued & Returned to Mother

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December 2014, Orlando, Florida:  13 year Gregory Jean Jr. is returned to his mother after being kidnapped, and hidden behind a fake wall. He was missing for 4 agonizing years. 

Father, Gregory Jean Sr. and step-mother, Samantha Davis are accused of kidnapping Gregory Jean Jr. from his mother, who had custody, when he went to visit them near Atlanta.

Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis. (Source: American Urban Radio Networks, http://www.aurn.com1)

Gregory Jean Jr. was abused and hidden behind a fake wall. He was given a cell phone to contact friends, and only allowed to talk to his mother after being coached on what to say. Jean Jr. then gained the courage to use that phone to contact his mother, and alert police to rescue him.

Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis  face charges of child cruelty, false imprisonment and obstruction.

Read More: 

Boy Hidden Behind Fake Wall in Dad’s House by AURN Newsroom

Boy found hidden behind fake wall and his mother speak to CBS46 by Daniel Wilkerson and Rodney Harris

Boy Hidden in Garage of Georgia Home Recounts Rescue: ‘They Didn’t Give Up’ by NBC News

Protective Mother-Felon/ Unstoppable Mothers

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https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com/2016/04/18/426/

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#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

” My ex-husband sexually abused my daughter. The court said there wasn’t ‘enough’ evidence, so I put a recorder in the overnight bag to get the evidence.
He took the recorder to the police and I was convicted of Felony Wire-tapping.

I am a felon and he still gets to see our daughter every week.”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2016

U.M Disclaimer

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 19, 2016 at 11:10 am

General Letter to a General Child in a General Family./ Dr. Childress

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“The child’s misidentification of authentic sadness is being created by the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent. The child’s authentic sadness and grief are being transformed by the manipulative pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent into “anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes.” Dr Childress

 

I am working as hard and as fast as I can to bring this nightmare of “parental alienation” to an end – for all children and for all families. My next blog post will be significant in moving our fight for your children forward. In the meantime, I was asked by a targeted parent if I could write a letter to the children explaining things to them. So I did.
For a variety of reasons, I can’t actually write a specific letter to your specific child in your specific family. But I can write a general letter to a general child in a general family. And this is what I did.
I wanted to speak directly to the child (an adolescent between the ages of 13-17), so I had to make four versions of the letter, one for a daughter who is rejecting her mom (A Letter to Mary) and one for a son who is rejecting his mom (A Letter to Jason), one for a daughter who is rejecting her dad (A Letter to Jessica), and one for a son who is rejecting his dad (A Letter to John). They’re all the same, but it simplifies the use of pronouns. I think of this as my “Letter to Mary” series, since this is the one I started with.
Until we can protect your children we cannot ask them to reveal their authenticity. They have to survive in the psychologically dangerous upside-down world of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent, where night is day, and black is white, where truth and reality shift with the needs of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent.
Fundamentally, though, the problem for the child is a misidentified and unprocessed grief response (the famed attachment theorist, John Bowlby, referred to it as “disordered mourning”). The child’s misidentification of authentic sadness is being created by the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent. The child’s authentic sadness and grief are being transformed by the manipulative pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent into “anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes.”
From Kernberg (1975): “The [narcissist’s] need to control the idealized objects, to use them in attempts to manipulate and exploit the environment and to “destroy potential enemies,” is linked with inordinate pride in the “possession” of these perfect objects totally dedicated to the patient.” (p. 33)
From Kernberg (1975) “They [narcissists] are especially deficient in genuine feelings of sadness and mournful longing; their incapacity for experiencing depressive reactions is a basic feature of their personalities. When abandoned or disappointed by other people they may show what on the surface looks like depression, but which on further examination emerges as anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes, rather than real sadness for the loss of a person whom they appreciated.” (p. 229)
In normal-range divorces, parents help their children understand and process the children’s sadness and grief surrounding the divorce. This is what parents are supposed to do. But the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent has no empathy for the child, and instead manipulates the child’s authentic sadness into anger, into blaming and resentment toward the other parent in order to exploit the child’s anger as a weapon against the other parent.
About the only thing I might be able to do for the child caught in the loyalty conflict imposed by a narcissistic/(borderline) parent is to do for the child what a normal-range parent should do, help the child understand his or her authentic hurt, and sadness, and grief beneath the anger and blaming. So that’s what I tried to do in these letters to the children. It may not be successful and it may not help. But it’s the most I can do until we are able to protect the children from the psychopathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent.
The four versions of the letter are up on my website, down at the very bottom. Direct links are:

A Letter to Mary (mother/daughter):
http://www.drcachildress.org/asp/admin/getFile.asp…
A Letter to Jason (mother/son):
http://www.drcachildress.org/asp/admin/getFile.asp…
A Letter to Jessica (father/daughter):
http://www.drcachildress.org/asp/admin/getFile.asp…
A Letter to John (father/son):
http://www.drcachildress.org/asp/admin/getFile.asp…
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
Kernberg, O.F. (1975). Borderline conditions and pathological narcissism. New York: Aronson.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 15, 2016 at 9:59 pm

Not A Part Of My Baby’s Special Day ( Photography and Quote)/ Unstoppable Mothers

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https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com/2015/05/12/164/

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#2. What hurts you the most about not being in your child’s life…

“Due to the injustices of the courts,

I am not a part of my baby’s special day.”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2014

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Appeal Denied After Court Rules That Child Can Be Circumcised, Orders Mom Not To Tell Her Son That She Opposes

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This article was originally posted on the Inquisitr
( link below)

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A court in Florida ordered that a four-year-old boy’s father, Dennis Nebus, has the right to have him circumcised even though his mother opposes the circumcision. Chase Ryan Nebus-Hironimus is a Palm Beach County boy. He turned four on Oct. 31. Last month, the state appeals court ruled that the father could proceed with the circumcision, but according to the Sun Sentinel on Friday, the boy had not been circumcised yet. The boys mother, backed by emotional and financial support from online groups affiliated with the websites Saving Chase and Bloodstained Men, vowed to try to take the case to the Florida Supreme Court to prevent her son from being circumcised.

As the case unfolded over the last year, other anti-routine-circumcision activists, known as intactivists, also rallied behind Heather Hironimus, Chase’s mother, and helped to support her legal expenses. Intactivists and other supporters of Chase’s mom’s efforts created a social media campaign using the hashtag #SavingChase.

During the progression of the court case, Chase’s mother was given a gag order by Circuit Judge Jeffrey Dana Gillen, according to the Palm Beach New Times, who said he would allow the circumcision because “there is no reason” not to. Chase’s mom was not to discuss the matter publicly, and she was also warned that she was not to let on to her son Chase that she opposed the idea of him being circumcised. Inquisitr covered the details of the story until that point last month.

It appears as though the Florida Supreme Court will not end up deciding on whether or not Chase will be circumcised, though. On Friday, the 4th District Court of Appeal in West Palm Beach Friday denied the request of Chase’s mother to bring the case before the highest court in the state.

“It’s unfortunate the court decided the way that it did,” Rebecca Wald, a Fort Lauderdale intactivist, told the Sun Sentinel. “Circumcision is bad enough — but when you have a 4-year-old boy who is terrified to lose part of his penis and will remember it for the rest of his life, it’s insanity.”

On Tuesday, in an email to the Sun Sentinel, the father’s attorney refused comment saying it is “a family matter.” Chase’s father has commented that the reason he wants his son circumcised is, because it’s the “normal thing to do.” The boys mother was not at liberty to discuss her feelings on the trial and Chase’s probability of being circumcised due to the gag order.

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/1680734/appeal-denied-after-court-rules-that-child-can-be-circumcised/#1FXsKBkCe88uAVgJ.99

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

December 16, 2014 at 6:53 am

DV By PROXY = Child Abuse

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You’re Evil! Combatting Badmouthing in Parental Alienation/ Ostara Gets A Divorce

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Originally posted November 11, 2013, on Ostara Gets A Divorce

http://ostaragetsadivorce.com/2013/11/11/youre-evil-combatting-badmouthing-in-parental-alienation/

“You’re evil, you’re evil, you’re evil”, Muppet sings while hugging, kissing and frolicking with her big sister while I’m setting the table for dinner. I smile; her words and actions are clearly contradictory, so she is not aware of the meaning. Such a sweet little toddler.

Time to have the discussion about certain words we don’t use, I think to myself.

While I’m serving dinner, I start out “There are certain words that are not nice to say to people, and I don’t want you to use them. We don’t say ‘people are evil’, we don’t use the word ‘stupid’. I want you to respect others and show respect in the words you use.”

“But Dad tells Kelly, my sister and me that you are evil. That we get the flea bites at your house and that you give Muppet the booty rash.” Sweet Bee says.

RIP. MY. HEART. OUT.

How many target parents have heard similar words? How many target parents have felt the same feelings that were going through me?

Countless, but even 1 person having to go through this is too many, even 1 child having to be subjected to this is too many.

And it is not like I had not heard it before. During trial we entered into evidence and email from Ex to me where he calls my mother ‘the Devil’, because my mother held him accountable for not taking good emotional, physical and financial care of me and the kids. The pattern is only repeating itself, but now with me who is to be eliminated.

The most prominent alienation strategy was denigration of the targeted parent, informally referred to as “bad-mouthing.” — Baker, Amy J. L. “Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind”

Bad-mouthing the other parent seemed to serve the same function as bad-mouthing the “outside world” has for cults: promotion of dependency. — Baker, Amy J. L. ” Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind”

Parental Alienation is depriving a child from a valid loving relationship. It is about creating dependency on the alienating parent, not based on the truth and reality, but based upon subjectivity and persuasion.

Drama replaces reason.

And that is the ‘hook’ Reunification Therapists take a hold of. They work with the child to teach them to ‘figure it out’, to learn to discern between fact/reality and subjective distortion. The Reunification Therapist works to improve mental functioning by working on reality testing and mitigate the trauma by weighing evidence.

Most parents don’t know what a therapist does, but that doesn’t mean a parent can not do ‘supportive’ work while the therapist is not available. It is hard and can be difficult, but the parent has to calmly, objectively and non-emotionally clarify the reality which the child themselves can test.

So what is the evidence in the statement of Sweet Bee? Ex has a ‘rat problem’, rats carry fleas. The kids return from access with numerous bites, documented by 3rd party. I have dogs who are religiously treated with K9 Advantix. The kids leave without flea bites. Muppet has been returned from access with a (bleeding) diaper rash multiple times, diagnosed and treated within hours by dr.’s.

“Are you itchy right now?” I ask. “No” they answer. “Do you have any bug bites right now?” I continue. “No” they answer again. “When you are itchy and have bug bites where are you then?” “We’re at Dad’s, and he has no bug bite lotion” is the answer. They emphasize the lack of bug bite lotion. While that seems trivial, it is not. It means they (unconsciously) did a reality check. They had been looking or asking for bug bite lotion while at Dad’s.

I didn’t lash out and said Ex was a liar to the children. I calmly did a reality check. While dealing with the bug bites was ‘easy’, internally I was trying to figure out how to bring up the diaper rash. The dr.’s diagnosed it as being the result of prolonged exposure to urine and it extends down her leg(s). It is not normal for a 3-year-old to have this when she is fully potty trained. The last episode likely had to do with the fact that Ex left the children unattended in a car for periods of time without supervision, access to food/water or bathroom. ‘Inadequate guardianship’ is what CPS supervisor called it.

“Where does your booty hurt the most?” I ask Muppet. “In the front” she replies. Ok, good point, a good factual statement for a 3 ½ year old. “But when you are with Mom or with Dad?” I try to probe a little further. “Both” she innocently replies. And she is right, it is not like it is instantly over, and how am I going to explain to a toddler that it takes time to heal? How do I explain the cause and effect; prolonged exposure to urine = diaper rash?

And this is why parental alienation takes ground with younger children so much easier than older kids, teenagers or adults. Younger kids don’t have the same conception of reality, developmentally they are not ready yet. They still believe in Santa. They’ll believe anything a parent tells them.

Distorting reality for a child this young and depriving them from the other parents’ love, making them question the validity of this love is devastating and has long-lasting effects. It is cruel to the child.

But parents with this attitude do not solve problems by being rational. They have no internal conflict, it doesn’t bother them they are hurting the child. If a problem arises, it is always someone else’s fault.

There is no protocol to fix the alienating parent—not legally, not therapeutically, and not by reasoning with them. It is also unlikely that they will ever stop trying to perpetuate the alienation, because it has become a gut-wrenching survival issue to them! — Douglas Darnell, 2000

Courts are supposed to uphold the statue of Best Interest of the Child. It should protect the child from the harmful effects of Parental Alienation, which is considered psychological child abuse in the DSM 5. Fighting parental alienation is not about a mother’s right, it is not about a father’s right, it is about the children’s right. They are not 2nd class citizens.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” — Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776

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