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HEART TORN IN TWO BY M.R.M (POETRY)/ Love Letters To Our Children

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Though I didn’t know you, still you grew a part of me, suddenly aware of the child within, wondering Who would you be like and how would you react…
as years gone by colored by the lies you were told, when would that truth I knew as fact unfold?
First it was my body that surrounded you so close, then it was my womb that protected you with every battered dose,
I crawled on hands and knees to try and get away, from the biological co-creator who kicked, slapped and strangled me.
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It wasn’t myself for whom I was concerned, it was the unborn child who may never know just how much hate their mother had to endure.
Did it make me strong, or was I too weak to be bold? The depths of despair of a woman pregnant with new life, only tears of fear that threatened daily that scared wife.
So whatever it is I didn’t tell you, this you must know, It was your life that saved mine with every hit I took, and I’m so very sorry for all the horrors that horrid man I call a crook.
Think what you want but someday you shall see, God gave me you, despite the violent abuse against me.
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Forever my Love goes on and my heart is torn in two, simply because of your resentment for my doing whatever I knew how to do.
Surviving is not thriving, and freedom was a fight, every day I think of you and forgiveness is my plight.
I left that man who bruised every part of who I was, and now I live to shout and fight for what is noble and what is right.
You my dear child I cry for in the middle of each night.
With Love yesterday, today and every tomorrow, Your Mom xoxo
                                                                             © M.R.M 2017 Love Letters To Our ChildrenScreen Shot 2017-04-20 at 8.39.58 PM
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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 23, 2017 at 7:14 pm

Exposed by My Children for What I Really Look Like / Huff Post Parents

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One of the many reasons children are so awesome! They only see your heart —- PMA International

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridgette-white/exposed-by-my-children-for-what-i-really-look-like_b_5613551.html?ref=topbar

My first reaction is shock. Who took this hideous picture of me?

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Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit “delete,” my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful lying there. I couldn’t help it, Mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But Mom, seriously, look how pretty you look!”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.

My daughter walks over and takes a look.

“That could be a postcard, Mom,” she says smiling. “You’re so beautiful. I love it.”

I take a deep breath.

This is exactly what I needed.

My default mode is to see and focus on my flaws and imperfections. I’m starting to see a bit more.

I still see my dimply, fat thighs.

I also see a mom collapsed on the shore who just explored the lake for hours with her children.

I still see chubby arms.

I also see the arms of a mom who just helped her kids across the rocks and hot sand so their feet wouldn’t hurt.

I still see a fat woman wearing a black dress bathing suit to try to hide her weight issue.

I also see an adventurous mom who loves her children something fierce.

Like many women, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. It’s not something that will ever go away for me. I don’t have a naturally slim body. Never have.

Right now I’m the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years. Yet…

I have not let my weight stop me this time. I am wearing tank tops, sundresses and bathing suits in public. I’m running around playing with my kids this summer and I sometimes even feel attractive.

Yes. You heard me.

“I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright!”

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

July 27, 2014 at 10:44 am

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