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Archive for the ‘domestic violence’ Category

30 Shocking Domestic Violence Statistics That Remind Us It’s An Epidemic/ HuffPost

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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during the war.

Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men. Too many women have been held captive by domestic violence — whether through physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse or a combination of all three.

We are inundated with news stories about domestic violence, from athletes beating their significant others in public elevators or in their own homes to celebrities publicly abusing their girlfriends. This problem is not one that will go away quickly or quietly.

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to an end, discussions about intimate partner abuse and its horrible repercussions should not. In an attempt to illustrate the gravity of abuse all genders (but largely women) face in the U.S., we rounded up 30 statistics on domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not a singular incident, it’s an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture — and these numbers prove that.

3

The number of women murdered every day by a current or former male partner in the U.S.

38,028,000

The number of women who have experienced physical intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

4,774,000

The number of women in the U.S. who experience physical violence by an intimate partner every year.

1,509

The number of women murdered by men they knew in 2011. Of the 1,509 women, 926 were killed by an intimate partner and 264 of those were killed by an intimate partner during an argument.

18,000

The number of women who have been killed by men in domestic violence disputes since 2003.

1 in 4

The number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

1 in 7

The number of men who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

8,000,000

The number of days of paid work women lose every year because of the abuse perpetrated against them by current or former male partners. This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs.

40-45

The percentage of women in physically abusive relationships who are raped and/or assaulted during the relationship.

18,500,000

The number of mental health care visits due to intimate partner violence every year.

$948

The average cost of emergency care for intimate partner violence-related incidents for women. The average cost for men is $387.

2 in 5

The number of gay or bisexual men who will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

50

The percentage of lesbian women who will experience domestic violence (not necessarily intimate partner violence) in their lifetimes.

81

The percentage of women who are stalked by a current or former male partner who are also physically abused by that partner.

70

The percentage of women worldwide who will experience physical and/or sexual abuse by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.

98

The percentage of financial abuse that occurs in all domestic violence cases. The number one reason domestic violence survivors stay or return to the abusive relationship is because the abuser controls their money supply, leaving them with no financial resources to break free.

$5,800,000,000

The estimated cost of incidents of intimate partner violence perpetrated against women in the U.S. in 1995 alone.

21

The number of LGBT people murdered by their intimate partners in 2013. Fifty percent of them were people of color. This is the highest documented level of domestic violence homicide in the LGBT community in history.

2.6x

The amount of times more likely a transgender person of color is to become a victim of intimate partner violence than a non-LGBT person.

70x

The amount of times more likely a woman is to be murdered in the few weeks after leaving her abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship.

10,000,000

The number of children exposed to domestic violence every year.

25

The percentage of physical assaults perpetrated against women that are reported to the police annually.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month- Raise Awareness

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

October 17, 2017 at 4:18 am

New Mother Tortured By Husband Shares Story to Raise Awareness About Domestic Violence

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Prosper Ortega (Source: GoFundMe)

Prosper Ortega (Source: GoFundMe)

(Atlanta, Georgia, July 2016) – Propser Ortega is recovering from horrific torture, rape and assault inflicted on her by her husband, Aaron Uchitel. Prosper was rescued by her mother, Fawn Ortega, who grew concerned after not hearing from Prosper, and fought to get inside the house. She was close to death when Fawn rescued her, and her newborn.

Fawn says, “Her ribs are broken.  He beat her ribs and breast saying her milk was useless and she was worthless. He tried to blind her so she couldn’t see her baby, he tried to make her deaf so she couldn’t hear him crying for her.” Aaron Uchitel has been charged with aggravated battery, false imprisonment and cruelty to children.

Fawn, and other family members, are sharing Prosper’s story in order to raise awareness abut domestic violence. The family has created a GoFundMe to raise money for hospital bills and other expenses.

Updates on Prosper’s recovery can also be found on the GoFundMe page. An update posted 4 months ago on Prosper’s recovery offers this touching message of hope: “We just keep rolling along – I don’t know what else to say other than that. Every day is another step towards some type of normalcy but normal still seems very far away. Despite that, we have beautiful people offering goodness in abundance, and that makes it worlds better…

Read More:

Mother ‘nearly tortured to death and held captive for days by her husband’ is reunited with two-week-old son but can hardly see because of her broken eye sockets

‘Mom, why did he do this to me?’: young wife in hospital after alleged abuse to save weeks old baby

Prosper Ortega and her son (Source: GoFundMe)

Prosper Ortega and her son (Source: GoFundMe)

Punished for Trying to Protect My Children from Abuse (Photography & Quote)/Unstoppable Mothers

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screen-shot-2016-10-20-at-5-00-32-pm

#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

“The judge gave full custody

to my ex despite

concerns for safety

and documented abuse.

 

The judge looked at me,

and said,”Let’s see how 

you like this separation.

 

I am being punished

for being a voice

for my children

and trying to

protect them from abuse.”

 

Unstoppable Mothers © 2016

U.M Disclaimer

 

Domestic Abuse by Proxy – Family Court Abuse Video

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“The mother has to comply with a court order and send her child to be alone with an abusive, violent man.

This is torture for her, and for the child, when they find themselves in a frightening situation, taken from their protector and forced into contact with a man, whom they may have witnessed seeing him beat their mother or who has been abusive to them.

This is abuse by Family Court.”

Domestic Abuse by Proxy, Family Court Abuse: Failing to Protect Children and Mothers” is a powerful and informative video released on Youtube by Family Court Abuse (UK). 

This video describes how abusive ex partners will use the family court system, and manipulate the legal process, to gain control, and inflict further harm of their victims. Abusers also seek custody to cause the most damage to a former partner; by attacking her love, and maternal bond, with her child. An abuser attacks by taking a child away from their mother, and destroying their relationship. Children are also used as pawns by an abuser in other ways designed to terrorize, hurt and harass their victim.

The legal system is a minefield for an abused woman.The process of how the family court system can perpetrate and enable domestic violence to continue is also described in this video.  Family court judges and professionals often lack training in domestic violence, and do not recognize the abuse. Or, the judge and professionals have been so indoctrinated in parental alienation theories, and other prejudices, that they mistake signs of abuse for parental alienation syndrome and discredit legitimate concerns. Or see the mother’s attempts to get help as a sign that something is “wrong” with her. Domestic abuse advocates and experts are rarely consulted by the court system, and a judge has the discretion to disallow or ignore evidence presented by a mother (evidence of abuse, and expert testimony is commonly discredited by judges after a mother has been falsely labelled). Obtaining legal representation is also difficult, most women go to court without an attorney because they can not afford one. An abuser with an attorney has a powerful advantage over her, and gains an ally in the legal system.

Unresolved Trauma

The lives of children are also endangered when Courts work to give an identified abuse custody and/or unsupervised visits. The video mentions that the Courts order “more contact than would be usual, to enable the child and father to ‘quickly establish a relationship’“. This means there is less scrutiny, and less care given to how these decisions are being made, and the effect on the child involved. 

Featured Image -- 3784

This video will be familiar to those who have experienced family court, and offers validation to what you have endured. It is also a powerful teaching tool to educate, and raise awareness, of how the family court process fails to protect victims of domestic violence and their children.

 

Note: The end of the video offers suggestions on how to raise awareness of family court injustices by using social media as a platform. PMA International does not offer legal advice or professional services. Reposting this video does not constitute advice or suggestion of any kind. Please use discretion, and take reasonable care, when making decisions. If you need help or legal assistance, please contact a qualified professional and/or organization.

 

 

Mom recorded her own murder on cell phone — DV Crime

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CHESTER COUNTY, Pa. — Wesley Webb was fighting with boyfriend Keith Smith in their home in Schuylkill Township, Pennsylvania, when she decided to start recording the argument. What she ended up recording was her own murder, police say. Webb, 40, told Smith she would leave with her two children — three kids, all under age…

via Mom recorded her own murder on cell phone — WTKR.com

Written by EJ

May 12, 2016 at 6:50 pm

Tatyana Brown- “Gaslit”/everydayfeminism

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How Gaslighting Is Abuse That Stays with You Like a Terrifying Hurricane

 

 

Taking its name from the 1944 film The Gaslight,

gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information

is continuously presented to a survivor in order to make them doubt their memory, perception, and sanity

You know you’ve really got it bad when decades later,

shadows in your apartment flicker after the sky is baptized in lightning,

and you hear his voice instead of thunder telling you, “There is no storm”

You don’t need to close the windows

That is not water pouring in sheets onto the rooftops,

flooding your bedroom until the mattress weeps under your weight

It’s just an accident

Probably you did it, little girl

Why are you making such a scene?

It’s a quiet night, a leaky bathtub upstairs,

there is nothing to protect yourself or anyone else from, darling

Everyone is happy

Maybe you should try it

Are you trying hard enough to have some better, more attractive feelings?

Show me your winner’s smile

No, not like that, all bare teeth

Close your mouth, and pull until it stings

Who’s going to love that gap, yeah?

Who do you think you’re fooling with all this sky is falling bullshit?

Nobody cares

It’s a party, and the sad girl in the darkened room stays sad her whole life

Her bottomless sorrow transforms all of the beautiful people into monsters,

or else just makes them leave

She only has herself to blame

It goes on like this for hours

Even though you know it’s raining, it’s a hurricane

The walls are peeling from their studs

The floor is floating in the flood

You live on a raft now, tearing itself apart as it is being sucked out to see

You find yourself apologizing to a voice no one else can hear

I’m sorry for this act of God we’re living through

Sorry about this flesh wound I keep walking around with, staining all your furniture

I’m sorry I can’t seem to start crying

You know, I guess somebody died, and it’s stupid

I realize, but not over it

I guess maybe something happened that gutted me

like a carp you hack apart to catch worthier fish

I guess I haven’t slept in months because silly me,

the roof tore off,

and I have swallowed so much rain lying on my back

Taking it

I’m sorry

You probably don’t mean to hear this messy grief girl who can’t keep her mouth shut

It’s just the way it always is, yeah? My fault.

You know it’s bad when you can’t actually remember what he sounds like

The only version of his voice is rooms away, roaring between the book shelves

as he pulls them crashing to the floor,

and you wonder how it is that he still lives here

How every creak and rumble in your new apartment belongs to him somehow

How you keep waking up feeling guilty for being lazy and such a mess, even at 7 AM

Your books still in their boxes, you realize, it isn’t him you’re hearing,

but the muscle memory of what he made you feel

It’s not so bad. It’s not so bad. You’ve got to get up, and get over it

Are you sure you even remember it right?

It’s your hand on the light switch now, flickering, and cursing your eyes for their perfect sight

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 15, 2016 at 9:31 pm

I am the alienator

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Karen Woodall

I am an alientor. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behaviour patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalising them. I know your behaviour patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.

I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did…

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 12, 2016 at 8:02 pm

Mother Left Grief-Stricken After Ex Allegedly Forced Her to Hold Infant Twin Daughters While He Killed Them, Then Shot Himself/ people.com

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BY CHRIS HARRIS @chrisharrisment 11/19/2015 AT 03:45 PM EST

http://www.people.com/article/florida-man-kills-self-after-murdering-twin-daughters

Two twin babies were shot and killed in front of their mother last week during a murder-suicide that unfolded in a home in Jacksonville, Florida.

A police spokesman confirms to PEOPLE that the two five-month-old infants, Hayden and Kayden, were both killed on Nov. 13 by their 28-year-old father, Gawain Rushane Wilson.

Police say Wilson entered the home where the twin girls’ mother, 22-year-old Megan Hiatt, lived with her father, Travis. Wilson allegedly shot the babies, Hiatt and her father before eventually taking his own life.

Megan Hiatt, who is a twin herself, was the sole survivor of what police characterized as a “domestic incident.” Police could not confirm she had to have a breast removed as a result of last week’s violence, but did say she was shot five times. She is recovering from her injuries at UF Health Jacksonville.

The police spokesman also refused to comment on numerous media reports claiming Hiatt was forced to hold her two babies as Miller shot them dead.

Hiatt’s mother, Melissa Bateh, told First Coast News in an interview that Wilson wanted to destroy her daughter’s life. “He wanted to destroy her world. He wanted her to watch it be destroyed,” Bateh said, adding that her daughter told her she was forced to hold the infants as Wilson shot them.

” ‘Mama, he killed them. He killed them in my arms. He made me hold them when he killed them. He made me watch,’ ” Bateh recalled. “I knew, I didn’t … I couldn’t imagine someone doing that, holding your own children while someone kills them.”

Police confirm Hiatt and Miller “were a couple at one time,” but say it doesn’t appear the two were “still a couple” at the time of the shooting.

A GoFundMe campaign has been launched to help raise money to pay for the funeral costs for the twins and their grandfather. So far, it has raised nearly $20,000 in donations.

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Settlement in New York Domestic Violence Case May Set Broader Precedent/ NYTimes.com

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http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/19/business/settlement-in-new-york-domestic-violence-case-may-set-broader-precedent.html?_r=2

The New York State attorney general has reached a potentially significant settlement with Bon-Ton Stores, which has more than 200 department stores across the northern part of the country, over a workplace discrimination complaint filed by a victim of domestic violence

The settlement, to be announced on Thursday, stems from an episode in early October at the company’s store in Williamsville, N.Y., a suburb of Buffalo. It requires the company to educate all employees of its New York stores that victims of domestic violence are protected by state law against retaliation and harassment relating to their abuse.

In a possible violation of the law, the Bon-Ton employee was sent home by a manager shortly after revealing that her estranged husband had threatened her life the day before. Under the terms of the settlement, Bon-Ton did not admit any wrongdoing, but agreed to change its policy so that employees in a similar situation are not required to procure a protective order to stay on the job.

“Victims of domestic violence face unspeakable hardships in every aspect of their personal lives,” the attorney general, Eric T. Schneiderman, said in a statement. “Our agreement with Bon-Ton Stores stands as a model for other employers.”

Experts on workplace discrimination hailed the settlement as an important step in protecting victims of domestic violence.

“It has a great value in spreading awareness about the law,” said Amanda Norejko, of Sanctuary for Families, an advocacy group and service provider for survivors of domestic violence. “Employers who are willing to flout the law will be given pause by the fact they know the attorney general’s office is investigating these things.”

Bon-Ton declined to comment on the case or the settlement agreement.

In a variety of studies over the years, victims of domestic violence have reported that the abuse interfered with their job performance and undermined their livelihoods. A significant fraction — as high as around 50 percent in some studies — reported having lost their jobs or being forced to quit at least partly as a result of the situation.

“It’s particularly an issue for workers at the lower end of the income spectrum,” said Maya Raghu, a lawyer with Futures Without Violence, a nonprofit that works to end violence against women and children. “They work shifts, don’t have a lot of control or benefits like paid leave, sick leave to deal with this.”

The law in New York, one of a handful of jurisdictions around the country to have enacted similar measures, prevents employers from firing or otherwise punishing employees on the basis of their having experienced domestic violence.

Unlike a similar New York City law, the state law does not explicitly require employers to make accommodations for employees who have experienced abuse — such as granting time off for medical treatment and to obtain protective orders against their abusers. But some of these steps may be necessary for an employer to demonstrate that it was handling the situation appropriately, experts say.

The episode involving Bon-Ton began on Oct. 9, when Jodi Porter, the employee, turned up for her shift as a saleswoman and informed store security officials that her estranged husband had threatened to kill her.

Ms. Porter said in an interview that, within an hour, the store had developed a safety plan that allowed her to go about her work. But shortly thereafter, the store manager told her to leave the store immediately. She was told to stay home until she checked in with the manager several days later, missing at least one more shift in the meantime.

When she spoke with the manager again, Ms. Porter said, she was told she could not return to work until she received a protective order against her husband, which was not immediately forthcoming because he had fled after a warrant for his arrest was issued. She was given no indication that her leave would be paid.

Ms. Porter contacted a hotline at the attorney general’s office on Oct. 13 regarding an unrelated issue and also mentioned her employment situation, which prompted the investigation. Bon-Ton informed her that it would pay her during the leave after she contacted the attorney general, and she was told she would be able to return to work less than one week after that.

The safety plan the store ultimately put into effect under pressure from the attorney general — including allowing her to park closer to the store, giving her access to a safe room to elude her husband and allowing her to use her cellphone while working in the event of a threat — was essentially the same plan the store proposed at the outset of the incident, Ms. Porter said.

She said that being unable to work created a level of emotional distress above and beyond the uncertainty of not knowing whether she would have a source of income.

“I went there going, everything is fine, everything is fine,” she said. “I was trying to go about my work, just do what I’ve got to do to take my mind off of everything.”

Instead, she added, being sent home “made me feel like a victim all over again. It was like a slap in the face.”

Advocates said one of the company’s key missteps was not having a policy in place to deal with such contingencies, leading to the confusion that surrounded Ms. Porter’s situation.

“You don’t want to have a low-level manager operating off the seat of their pants,” said Penny M. Venetis, the executive vice president and legal director of Legal Momentum, a group that works on a broad range of gender equity issues, include domestic violence.

Ms. Venetis said that sending home a worker who has been threatened by a partner was often the most dangerous response an employer could choose. The employee may be less safe alone at home than at work, and the loss of a livelihood can make abused partners even more dependent on their abusers.

Ms. Porter “acted responsibly for reporting it,” Ms. Venetis said. “The actions Bon-Ton took discourage people from coming forward.”

The law in New York and many other states does not necessarily require that employers always allow victims of violence to return to work, some experts say. There may be instances in which a violent threat is imminent and an employer reasonably concludes that the victim, fellow workers and customers may be safer if the abuse victim takes time off, said Jennifer Schwartz, an employment lawyer at Outten & Golden in California.

But in those instances, it is important for the employer to go out of its way to seek input from the employee in order to get a complete picture of the circumstances, including the employee’s needs.

“We’re not saying employers should become experts on sexual violence, stalking,” Ms. Raghu said. “Just that they should be supportive of people who are victims.”

Correction: November 18, 2015
An earlier version of a picture caption with this article misstated Ms. Porter’s status at Bon-Ton. She is a current employee, not a former one.

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

November 20, 2015 at 6:19 am

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