Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

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HEART TORN IN TWO BY M.R.M (POETRY)/ Love Letters To Our Children

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Though I didn’t know you, still you grew a part of me, suddenly aware of the child within, wondering Who would you be like and how would you react…
as years gone by colored by the lies you were told, when would that truth I knew as fact unfold?
First it was my body that surrounded you so close, then it was my womb that protected you with every battered dose,
I crawled on hands and knees to try and get away, from the biological co-creator who kicked, slapped and strangled me.
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It wasn’t myself for whom I was concerned, it was the unborn child who may never know just how much hate their mother had to endure.
Did it make me strong, or was I too weak to be bold? The depths of despair of a woman pregnant with new life, only tears of fear that threatened daily that scared wife.
So whatever it is I didn’t tell you, this you must know, It was your life that saved mine with every hit I took, and I’m so very sorry for all the horrors that horrid man I call a crook.
Think what you want but someday you shall see, God gave me you, despite the violent abuse against me.
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Forever my Love goes on and my heart is torn in two, simply because of your resentment for my doing whatever I knew how to do.
Surviving is not thriving, and freedom was a fight, every day I think of you and forgiveness is my plight.
I left that man who bruised every part of who I was, and now I live to shout and fight for what is noble and what is right.
You my dear child I cry for in the middle of each night.
With Love yesterday, today and every tomorrow, Your Mom xoxo
                                                                             © M.R.M 2017 Love Letters To Our ChildrenScreen Shot 2017-04-20 at 8.39.58 PM
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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 23, 2017 at 7:14 pm

Punished for Trying to Protect My Children from Abuse (Photography & Quote)/Unstoppable Mothers

with 2 comments

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#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

“The judge gave full custody

to my ex despite

concerns for safety

and documented abuse.

 

The judge looked at me,

and said,”Let’s see how 

you like this separation.

 

I am being punished

for being a voice

for my children

and trying to

protect them from abuse.”

 

Unstoppable Mothers © 2016

U.M Disclaimer

 

I Am A Caged Animal , Frantically Screaming the Truth (Photography & Quote)/ Unstoppable Mothers

with one comment

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A Hero, Protective Mother bravely speaks out:

“I am a caged animal.

I am frantically screaming the truth

and doing everything I can

to protect my children

in a system that is

doing everything to destroy them.

I am a mother

who is terrified for her daughters!

The narcissist I was married to

was right when he said

‘If you leave, I will take everything from you! ‘

Leaving, I have lost my children,

my sanity and my freedom.”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2016

U.M Disclaimer

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Domestic Abuse by Proxy – Family Court Abuse Video

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“The mother has to comply with a court order and send her child to be alone with an abusive, violent man.

This is torture for her, and for the child, when they find themselves in a frightening situation, taken from their protector and forced into contact with a man, whom they may have witnessed seeing him beat their mother or who has been abusive to them.

This is abuse by Family Court.”

Domestic Abuse by Proxy, Family Court Abuse: Failing to Protect Children and Mothers” is a powerful and informative video released on Youtube by Family Court Abuse (UK). 

This video describes how abusive ex partners will use the family court system, and manipulate the legal process, to gain control, and inflict further harm of their victims. Abusers also seek custody to cause the most damage to a former partner; by attacking her love, and maternal bond, with her child. An abuser attacks by taking a child away from their mother, and destroying their relationship. Children are also used as pawns by an abuser in other ways designed to terrorize, hurt and harass their victim.

The legal system is a minefield for an abused woman.The process of how the family court system can perpetrate and enable domestic violence to continue is also described in this video.  Family court judges and professionals often lack training in domestic violence, and do not recognize the abuse. Or, the judge and professionals have been so indoctrinated in parental alienation theories, and other prejudices, that they mistake signs of abuse for parental alienation syndrome and discredit legitimate concerns. Or see the mother’s attempts to get help as a sign that something is “wrong” with her. Domestic abuse advocates and experts are rarely consulted by the court system, and a judge has the discretion to disallow or ignore evidence presented by a mother (evidence of abuse, and expert testimony is commonly discredited by judges after a mother has been falsely labelled). Obtaining legal representation is also difficult, most women go to court without an attorney because they can not afford one. An abuser with an attorney has a powerful advantage over her, and gains an ally in the legal system.

Unresolved Trauma

The lives of children are also endangered when Courts work to give an identified abuse custody and/or unsupervised visits. The video mentions that the Courts order “more contact than would be usual, to enable the child and father to ‘quickly establish a relationship’“. This means there is less scrutiny, and less care given to how these decisions are being made, and the effect on the child involved. 

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This video will be familiar to those who have experienced family court, and offers validation to what you have endured. It is also a powerful teaching tool to educate, and raise awareness, of how the family court process fails to protect victims of domestic violence and their children.

 

Note: The end of the video offers suggestions on how to raise awareness of family court injustices by using social media as a platform. PMA International does not offer legal advice or professional services. Reposting this video does not constitute advice or suggestion of any kind. Please use discretion, and take reasonable care, when making decisions. If you need help or legal assistance, please contact a qualified professional and/or organization.

 

 

Protective Mothers are Being Re Victimized./ PMA International

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As we travel down this path together – advocating for family court reform, we have seen an alarming trend. Protective Mothers are being re victimized.

Protective Mothers are being re victimized , not just by family court, but by the very people in which they reach out for help.

As an organization we are amazed at the number of requests for help with personal cases that we receive. Not just because we have posted everywhere that we do not get involved in personal custody cases, but because we are simply puzzled by such requests.

We are an organization of fellow Protective Moms. How can we help with a personal custody case ?

We are not a group of legal professionals or licensed educated therapists. We understand the desperation, but when we see where protective mothers are putting their trust – we cringe.

Some Protective Moms are putting their trust in people simply not qualified, educated or  licensed to help in their custody case.

So with that in mind, PMA International Administrators, and Leaders put together some categories of assistance a Protective Mom would need and – in our opinion and experience – where best to go for help.

Legal:

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Family court is a legal forum. So unless you are going to represent yourself, you need a legal professional. These are just the facts.

It is illegal for a judge to communicate to anyone other then yourself or your legal representative about your case.

You need a good Family Court attorney who specializes in DV.

If money is an issue find legal aid in your community, University law schools or paralegal organizations.

But the point is – you need a legal professional.

Emotional Support:

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If you are looking for emotional support it is best to find a qualified , licensed highly trained therapist for help. Preferably one trained in trauma and/or PTSD. Going to a fellow protective mother for emotional support is not effective, in our experience.

Trauma survivors are rarely helpful in helping other trauma survivors as they get triggered themselves hearing the other person’s  story.This is simply unavoidable. A few of the consequences of the above – more often than not- is an unhealthy role reversal, or sudden withdrawal of support leading to resentment, anger and more trauma.

Do yourself a favor and avoid the above by simply finding a good highly trained trauma therapist to get the support you need and deserve.

If money is an issue, research low cost alternatives in your community. Most communities have this option. Utilize local churches for your preferred spiritual support.

Research-

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If you are looking for research , best to go to a professional liscensed trusted Private Investigator. A P.I is trained and educated in what they do and has the emotional distance necessary to do a good job with a clear head.

 

Others may mean well when they offer their help, and they might even share a similar experience , but when you are dealing with Family Court abuse and corruption the stakes are so high and the trauma so deep that hiring a professional, highly trained, educated and licensed expert are some of the ways to limit the chances of being re victimized.

Understand, we clearly know Protective Mothers who have had bad experiences with professionals. This saddens us , but is unavoidable as in life there are no guarantees .

Also , we are not talking about professionals ordered by Family Court, but ones you research yourself, in addition to getting referrals  from a trusted person.

If by chance you still get re victimized by a professional,( it happens) their governing body has a complaint process and we highly recommend you access it.

This is not the case if you are depending on a non- professional for help.

For these reasons and many others PMA International has made the decision to not get involved in personal custody cases as we are a large group of international Protective Mothers- not legal experts.

So if you are a Protective Mother, reaching out for help and your 2 choices are either a trained, educated professional, or a non professional , we suggest – take your chances with the trained professional, per our collective experience.

We understand your desperation, as we have been there. But utilizing professionals for help will give you and your children a fighting chance and may help to avoid re victimization in the process.

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I am the alienator

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Karen Woodall

I am an alientor. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behaviour patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalising them. I know your behaviour patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.

I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did…

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 12, 2016 at 8:02 pm

Family Court House Rules

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