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Tips on Getting Through the Holidays as Grieving Hero Protective Mothers From The PMA International Team

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Because of the overwhelming response from our members/supporters to our post,
Experiencing the Holidays in a Hero Protective Mother’s World
( link below)
https://protectivemothersallianceinternational.org/2015/12/17/experiencing-the-holiday-in-a-hero-protective-mothers-world/
and per your many requests, we have decided to explore some tips on getting through the Holidays as grieving Hero Protective Mothers . Although some of these sites and tips are for parents who have lost a child due to death, some suggestions still apply. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest, with love.

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Six Tips to Cope with Grief During the Holidays
“What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
The holidays can be an especially difficult time for parents who have lost their children. So many holiday routines and activities revolve around the gathering of family and friends. Yet, bereaved parents may not feel up for celebrating as usual or embracing holiday traditions that they have in the past. Instead of feeling a sense of loss over what the holidays were supposed to be, we can take this as an opportunity to recreate what they will be for our families from now on. The following are tips for enjoying your holidays in the face of grief:
Simplify
Make Room for Your Feelings
Create New Traditions
Be Generous with Others
◦ Do things that help you feel connected. Spend time with the people you love. Nurture those relationships.
◦ Give of your time, talents, and skills. Sharing can lift spirits and ease burdens.
Be Generous with Yourself
◦ Expect that you will feel sad sometimes. Or angry. Or alone. These are all appropriate feelings. Don’t think of them as being counter-productive. What they really are is an acknowledgement of the intense love you hold for your child.
Read More
http://handtohold.org/resources/helpful-articles/six-tips-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/

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This article is written by a Gloria Horsley /Psychotherapist, Grief Expert

Let Their Light Shine: Three Tips for Getting Through the Holidays After Loss

Holiday Grief Tips

Remember Grief is Physical and Emotional – When responding to the news of a loss stress hormones are released which put our body in a state of heightened awareness. Reminders and memories of the deceased can trigger these stressed neurological pathways for years. Activities such as yoga, Ti Chi, and meditation have been shown through research to calm the mind. Walking, laughing, hugging and expressing gratitude can also calm the mind and release hormones that relax the body. These activities have been shown to be as effective if not more than anti depressants.

Read more
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gloria-horsley/let-their-light-shine-thr_b_8823996.html?utm_hp_ref=common-grief

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Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping

• Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
• Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.

• Try these alternatives:
◦ Donate to a charity in someone’s name.
◦ Give homemade gifts.
◦ Start a family gift exchange.
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
• Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
• Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Try these suggestions:
◦ Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
◦ Get plenty of sleep.
◦ Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.
• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm. 
Some options may include:
◦ Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
◦ Listening to soothing music.
◦ Getting a massage.
◦ Reading a book.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Read more
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544

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64 Tips for Coping with Grief at the Holidays

So here it is – 64 pro-tips for coping with grief at the holidays. Why 64 things? Eh, why not 64 things? Take some. Leave some. Love some. Hate Some. Then tell us what has worked for you in holidays past, or how you plan to cope with the holidays this year. Because the holidays are tough for all of us, the least we can do are share our tips and tricks with one another to make the season just a smidge more tolerable.
• Acknowledge that the holidays will be different and they will be tough.
• Decide which traditions you want to keep.
• Decide which traditions you want to change.
• Create a new tradition in memory of your loved one.
• Decide where you want to spend the holidays – you may want to switch up the location, or it may be of comfort to keep it the same. Either way, make a conscious decision about location.
• Plan ahead and communicate with the people you will spend the holiday with in advance, to make sure everyone is in agreement about traditions and plans.
• Remember that not everyone will be grieving the same way you are grieving.
• Remember that the way others will want to spend the holiday may not match how you want to spend the holiday.
• Put out a ‘memory stocking’, ‘memory box’, or other special place where you and others can write down memories you treasure. Pick a time to read them together.
• Light a candle in your home in memory of the person you’ve lost.
• Include one of your loved one’s favorite dishes in your holiday meal.
• Be honest. Tell people what you DO want to do for the holidays and what you DON’T want to do.
• Make a donation to a charity that was important to your loved one in their name.
• Buy a gift you would have given to your loved one and donate it to a local charity.
• If you are feeling really ambitious, adopt a family in memory of your loved one. This can often be done through a church, salvation army, or good will.
• See a counselor. Maybe you’ve been putting it off. The holidays are especially tough, so this may be the time to talk to someone.

• Send a holiday card to friends of your loved one who you may regret having lost touch with.

• Journal when you are having an especially bad day.
• Skip holiday events if you are in holiday overload.
• Don’t feel guilty about skipping events if you are in holiday overload!
Don’t get trapped. When you go to holiday events, drive yourself so you can leave if it gets to be too much.

Read more
http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/64-tips-grief-at-the-holidays/

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And don’t forget to check out our very own Wounded Healer series courtesy of our Healing and Prayer Network with valuable healing tips year around, but especially useful during this difficult Holiday time.
https://protectivemothersallianceinternational.org/wounded-healer-the-series/

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We hope some of these suggestions help you through this difficult Holiday, especially for those Hero Protective Moms without their children. Please know you are not alone. We walk beside you and are connected to you through our hearts.

Protective Moms- never forget you are Heroes.
Merry Christmas, Here’s to a better New Year.

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Much Love,
The PMA International Team

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Why Smart People Accept Unacceptable Behavior / Beyond Boundaries Dr. John Townsend

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Originally posted on Beyond Boundaries website ( link below )
From the book Beyond Boundaries by Dr. John Townsend

http://www.boundariesbooks.com/beyond-boundaries/smart-people-accept-unacceptable-behavior/

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When I (Dr. Townsend) guide people through a process of examining a previous difficult relationship, the one question I have found most helpful is this: What was the “payoff” in your choice? In other words, what good things did you think you’d get when you began a relationship with that person?

We wind up with difficult people for a reason—there was something we valued, wanted, or hoped for. And because the need was strong, we may not have paid attention to something unacceptable in that person’s character. We either minimized or denied some sign, some reality, some warning light that all was not well. And the character problem ended up being a bigger deal than we thought.

When smart people accept unacceptable relationships, they tend to see traits and abilities in others that they think will make life better for them. We see positive aspects of a person’s psyche that we are drawn to or feel we need. A longing for them dulls an awareness of that person’s darker side. Here are a few examples. For some period of time in the relationship, the person had the following:

Warmth: She was gentle and nurturing with me
Affirmation: He saw the good in me
Safety: He did not condemn or judge me
Structure: She was organized and got things done
Humor: She helped lighten the burdens and cheered me up
A great family: His relatives were much healthier than mine
Drive: She was focused and knew where she was going
Initiative: She took risks and was brave in making decisions
Competency: He was talented, and I needed his talent in my organization
People skills: He handled people better than I did, so I depended on him
Intelligence: She was smart, and I needed smarts in my department
In the toughest cases, the trait is simply that “he liked me.” That is, sometimes people feel so alone and desperate that they are grateful just for someone to be pursuing them, no matter what that person’s character may be.

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We have an ability to spin the truth when it comes to our relationships. When we want something so badly that we ignore reality. Love is not blind, but desire can be. Here are some examples of how we spin the truth:

You allowed him to control you because you were weak and afraid.
You ignored detachment and disconnection because she was a nice person.
You minimized irresponsibility because she had a great personality and charm.
You put up with his tendency to divide people on the team because he was a good strategist.
You didn’t pay attention to childishness because she was needy, and you felt protective.
You let him into your life because you were compliant and guilt-based, and he was free and a rebel.
Do you see how the problem occurs? It is an insidious process. It tends to occur slowly over time. The good aspects are generally apparent and right out there. The bad ones don’t come out until later, when the euphoria wears off and the honeymoon is over. We are simply not aware of the repercussions while we are in the middle of the relationship. Instead, we are focused on solving problems, improving things, questioning our own judgment, and trying to be positive about it all. It’s not until later, after we have some distance, that we can gain clarity and perspective on the true dynamics of what went on.

Here are a few questions to help you review your relationships and gain some helpful insights:

What drew me to this person?
What led me to think this person had what I needed?
When did I first notice a significant problem in the relationship?
How did I minimize the problem in order to get the good from the person?
What was the result of minimizing the problem?
The information you gather here will help you avoid these issues in future relationships. This doesn’t mean that the other person has some plan or agenda to hook you in. This occurs sometimes, but certainly not always. In most cases, difficult people are responding to their own issues but remain unaware of them or the impact they have on others. I say this to prevent you from feeling like you were sucked into a trap. Most of the time, both parties are in a dysfunctional dance, and neither one knows what’s going on. The difference now is that you can choose to stop dancing so that your future will be better than your past!

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

August 4, 2014 at 1:20 am

CORD CUTTING MEDITATION/ Wounded Healer; The Series Part 3

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Our intention for the PMA International Healing and Prayer Network’ Wounded Healer Series Part 3 is to present a variety of healing modalities, and be inclusive of various spiritual and religious beliefs. For those who feel aligned with this particular healing method, we hope you enjoy and find it helpful. Feel free to leave your thoughts, tips, and experiences in using this method in the comment section below. Light , Love and Peace. The PMA INTL. Healing and Prayer team.

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WHAT are “CORDs”?: Cords are energetic spiritual attachments that occur when your individual energy, emotion and desires/intentions connects to the energy, emotion and desires/intentions of another person. The other person can be anyone—friend, family, co-worker, spouse/partner, etc.

The cord is unseen but can be felt in the chemistry between two people, it is the underlying energy, and bond, you share with another person. The more connected you are the more you will share. Have you ever needed a shoulder to cry on, and called a friend, who seemed to have just the right words to provide comfort? Have you ever been able to sense your children needed something before they communicated the need to you? Have you came into your workplace feeling good but stress in the environment affects your mood? These are all examples of how the Cord works in everyday life when we share energy and interact with others. Cords can be connected in healthy or unhealthy ways. If the energetic cord connection is unhealthy, you would want to cut the energetic cord. This is what we are addressing in the process below.

WHAT IS CORD CUTTING? The spiritual process of “Cord Cutting” is based on the theory that when we enter into relationship with a person, an energetic thread or cord is activated. When that energy is healthy, you will feel a positive benefit in your life, and mutually grow with that person. But there are also times you may feel the need to “Cut the Cord” with someone. As we move through life, often these relationships no longer are what we need or want them to be. “Cord Cutting” allows for the energetic thread that has been running to be cut. Sometimes the energy you share is for a reason or purpose that runs its course then that person moves out of your life. Sometimes the energy you share is not healthy for you, and you find yourself in an abusive or controlling relationship, or one that stifles your own energy. Or, sometimes you need to establish boundaries, and keep people at a distance. An unhealthy psychic cord can create problems on emotional, subconscious, spiritual, energetic, and physical levels. Although symptoms of cords can vary greatly, an individual will typically feel drained from specific relationships when a cord is present. These are all reasons to remove yourself from that close relationship, and draw your energy out of their circle of influence.

CUTTING THE CORD FROM PAST EVENTS: You can also carry the energy of past events with you, drawing them into the Cord. For a person with a history of abuse, this can be particularly problematic. Cords can be attached in an unhealthy way. This typically happens when someone believes that their self worth is dependent on their partner- as in abusive relationships. The beliefs that creates unhealthy cord attachments stem from unsatisfied needs and deeply held emotional patterns. This may be, in part, why people who’ve been involved with a personality disordered person often seem to repeatedly attract the same type of people in their lives. Or, if history seems to be repeating in certain areas, it can indicate an unhealthy energy. Other times, people get triggered, and have difficulty breaking free, and find themselves acting from a place that does not reflect who they are in the present. That may indicate you are carrying an energetic pattern of the past with you. Cutting the Cord with the past can help release you from old emotional or energetic ties that hold you back. It may help facilitate healing, and allow you to move forward with your life.

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SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO CUT THE CORD: Cord cutting requires a certain amount of energy as is best done when you are well rested, and relaxed. It is also quite intentional, so being firm in your intent to let go is important. You don’t have to enjoy letting go; you just have to be intent on letting go. Cutting cords is a little like pulling weeds. Just as in pulling weeds, while cutting cords you have to get all the root out.

It is best to do it at a time when you can be alone and are assured of not being interrupted. Have yourself in a prayerful meditative state and well grounded.

You may need to turn off your phone. Or chose a time of day that is less busy for you. It may help to draw the curtains, play relaxing music or wear comfortable clothing. If you choose you may use essential oils or incense such as Spruce, Rose, Sage, Lavender. Another strong aspect of cutting cords is visualization, and also breathing, taking long full breaths, and strong exhalations, releasing as you exhale.

Cord cutting Visualization
Please note; this visualization may be changed to fit your personal spiritual and /or religious belief.
1. Close you eyes and get in a comfortable position and begin a pattern of consistent breathing, taking long full breaths, and strong exhalations, releasing as you exhale.

2 Call upon God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, your spiritual guides, Archangel Michael, your Higher Self, saints, angels etc., to help you with this process

3.Feel your lower chakras being grounded in the earth and your top four chakras opening and receiving the sustaining assisting energies of those you have invited and asked for help.
Note; for an explanation on Chakras, please follow the link below to a previous post

https://protectivemothersallianceinternational.org/2013/10/24/wounded-healer-the-series-part-3/

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Or, imagine your feet grounded into the earth like droplets of rain nourishing the grass, slowly sinking into the soil. Slowly wiggle your toes as you breathe deeply. Imagine your upper body and arms reaching towards the sky, sinking in the warm rays of the sun, receiving the sustaining assisting energies of those you have invited and asked for help.

4. Visualize yourself in a favorite safe healing place .It may be an actual place, a place that you enjoyed at one time or an imaginary one but what is of utmost importance is that you see it as a safe place.

5. Once in your safe place see yourself surrounded by a ball of pure white light., with Jesus, your Higher self, Angels or Archangel Michael standing by to assist you. Using whatever spiritual higher being that is in alignment with your personal belief system is important.

6. Call forth the individual that you wish to cut the negative cords of attachments from.

7. Visualize the individual standing in front of you, look down and imagine the cord that exists between you. The cord might be attached from navel to navel and is usually dark and thick, although there can be variations on the theme. It is important to realize that you are only cutting the cords of attachment that detract or cause conflict in the relationship

8. From your safe place, you are protected and from a place of power speak your feelings to the person that you are doing the cord cutting with. This means that you say anything and everything that you need to say in order to clear the slate and release all pent-up energies and emotions that you have been holding inside but have been unable to express for one reason or another. It is important that you speak from a place of power, even if you could never do so with the person in real life. Remember you are in a safe place and are protected by the Light, angels and God.

9. In your mind’s eye, while you continue to stand, ask God, angels, or Archangel Michael or your protector to borrow a spiritual sword, giving you the power to cut the cord.

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10. Begin to say out loud I now cut and release the cords of this relationship (say the name), and while you are saying this begin to move your arms as if you were holding a sword and cut all around you. You want to cut all around your body, remembering to cut above you and send intent, and or visualize the sword going below you to cut the roots of the relationship. If you can visualize you might also pull up the roots and pluck them out of your field while continuing to cut with the sword. Your intention is the key.

11. When you feel you are finished with that person/relationship you may feel as if a weight is lifted off of you, you may find it easier to breathe. You may experience a calm or peaceable sensation. Or receive a new insight. Take a moment to breathe, and notice how you are feelings. You may need to repeat Step 10. If you feel the Cord has been severed move on to Step 12.

12. Pause and breathe for a minute or so, and ask for the Violet Light, the Golden Light, The Highest Divine Light, the Light of God, or the Holy Spirit, (all or whatever works for you) to move around you, through you, above and below you, filling each aspect of yourself with the Highest Light and Love. Allow your heart to really open and feel your connection to yourself and the Divine. In doing this visualization you have created a void, by calling in the Divine and more of your higher Self, you bring in what you need to go forth and have the relationships you want to have.

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13. While you are bringing in and receiving the Highest Light and more of your Higher Self, you can begin to allow yourself to fill up with gratitude and start thanking those who have helped you in this ceremony.
14. If possible, now is a good time for you to simply relax, and rest. You might even want to take a nap. You may feel hungry, or drained, or simply peaceful.
Continue this visualization once a month and observe to see any changes brought about because of this meditation. Changes may not happen right away, so continuing the visualization one a month for a while may be needed.

Healing From Narcissist Abuse

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Excellent article on narcissists. Originally posted on Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD ~ A journey to healing from complex trauma.
( link below)

http://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2013/09/26/recovery-from-narcissistic-abuse-is-slow-and-painful/

Narcissists thrive only for themselves. They are completely self motivated, feel entitled to everything they want to do, have no compassion and no remorse. They lack empathy completely.

Narcissists and sociopaths, operate in similar ways.

They use you as prey.

They get close to you, build up your trust, mimic your emotions, take full advantage of your vulnerability, get you on your own, build a relationship where you begin to need them and depend on them.

They groom you and are highly clever at this.

They are emotional vampires, and narcissists are dangerous, abusive people.

Then once they are done with you, or you leave them, it all changes.

The narcissists worst nightmare is being exposed.

They will resist this at all costs, lie, deceive, deny and manipulate those around them, they will act outraged at what you are doing to ‘them’ and if all else fails, will manipulate those around them into believing they are the victim.

Not once in all of this, do they actually care about their ‘supply’.

All the fake emotions they have shown, all the words they used to ‘reel you in’, all the ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I care deeply about you’ and ‘I want to help you’s’ , were all fake, they didn’t mean a word of it.

Once exposed, you see their real motives and their real feelings about you.

Then, they are hot on the pursuit of ensuring no-one believes their ‘supply’ and will set out with the help of their supporters, to make you seem crazy, or a liar, or evil.

All along, they have no concept of the fact that they have ripped your heart out, stomped all over it and the pain you are left in.

They have no empathy for the hurt they caused, just a complete sense of entitlement, complete lack of insight, complete lack of courage to face what they have done.

And complete lack of love, care, compassion or empathy.

It takes a long time to recover from narcissistic abuse and it’s so hard for many victims to just watch them carry on enjoying their lives, whilst the victim grieves, is confused, is hurt and cannot understand how they can do this, after all they had said and done.

It’s so hard for victims to understand how they were not loved at all, just used and abused, chewed up and then spat back out of the devils mouth and left to deal with all the hurt and pain and deal with others who now believe a whole pack of lies too.

Recovery is slow and painful, especially when it is multiple narc/sociopath abusers and especially when the abuse is still raw.

Recovery includes grieving, twice.

Grieving the person you thought they were who you loved and believed loved you too and then grieving the real person they are, the narc, who never cared and used you as supply, with no remorse.

Matt 7:6 Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

I will never forget this verse.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

June 16, 2014 at 3:47 am

Care More… BE That Change!!

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To All Protective Mothers, Much Love From PMA International

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I Will Not Be Broken- Bonnie Raitt

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I Will Not Be Broken– Bonnie Raitt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_FcAg4ObRQ&list=PLM5wuhi5jHxlkAO9SifQ54R1ZMhTHoSGd&index=24

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Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can’t hold what’s within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I’m not going
I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be…

I won’t let you near it
I will let my spirit fly
Fly
High
Oh take me down

Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can’t hold what’s within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I’m not going
I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be…

Love to all Protective Mothers this Easter/ Passover From PMA International; WE Shall Overcome!

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This is for all the Protective Mothers with empty arms and hurting hearts who are missing their children every second of every day, but who are deeply hurting today – Easter and Passover. Know that no matter what, you ARE your children’s mother. No one -and certainly no court- can take away this God-given role in your children’s lives. Please know this in your heart. PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children now and forever.

” We shall Overcome”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnzmPrsLXn8&list=FL7KCZ-5dkBZg_NNHCzwZnyA&index=6

What About The Children/ Beautiful song by Yolana Adams- Enjoy!

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Welcome To Protective Mothers’ Alliance International

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WELCOME TO PROTECTIVE MOTHERS’ ALLIANCE INTERNATIONAL( PMA Intl. )

Protective Mothers Alliance International(PMA INTL). is an international protective mother-driven organization that includes a global network of like-minded organizations working as a team for positive change. Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) is co founded by Lundy Bancroft and Janice Levinson, with Janice Levinson as Executive Director. The PMA INTL family consists of protective mother-driven advocates working together as a tight team for change. PMA INTL is working toward bringing about dramatic reform in family court for protective mothers and their children. PMA INTL. advocates for change through education, community and media outreach and other creative strategies that may be effective and beneficial. PMA INTL. supports the efforts of protective mothers in keeping themselves and their children safe from the abuse of a former partner, and in empowering these mothers to become advocates for themselves and others. PMA INTL. has several networks/groups including but not limited to: Man Up for Moms ((M.U.M), Hear us NOW!! ( H.U.N) Healing and Prayer, STOP DV by Proxy. PMA’s very successful blog talk radio shows had over 6 thousand listeners. PMA INTl’s blog entitled: “The Guardian of Truth” continues to be an effective vehicle for education about family court abuse. Protective Mothers Alliance International has launched a gold ribbon campaign in an effort to reunite protective mothers and their children who have been separated by the family court.We invite all advocates and their allies around the globe to wear gold ribbons, to symbolize the effort that protective mothers and their allies are making to reunite children with their moms.
Please join us in supporting this campaign. ” The beautiful memories that we have of our beloved children are golden and can NEVER be erased from our hearts and minds”

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PMA International’s specialty is working with abused mothers and their children who are dealing with family court injustice. This does not mean that we have an agenda against men, or that we are anti-father or that we are blind to the fact that some women and mothers can be abusers too.
When Janice Levinson and Lundy Bancroft created PMA International, there were many groups helping fathers but very few helping abused mothers in family court. Janice and Lundy created PMA International to be an organization that consists of volunteer protective mothers because they saw a need, and decided to step up and help abused mothers and their children. Creating an organization of protective mothers who advocate for positive change in family court also speaks to both Lundy and Janice’s background, expertise and personal experiences. Because PMA International is a group of protective mothers and because of our vast collective experience with family court, DV, and personality disorder issues, we are very specialized in the work we do.

 

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Disclaimers:

Disclaimer regarding contacting PMA International;
PMA International is inundated on a daily basis with e mails and Face book messages . Although we love to hear from our valued members, please keep in mind, that PMA INTL is an all volunteer organization. The PMA INTL Administrative Assistants do their best to respond to each and every inquiry, but we find that most questions are very similar. In light of this , included on this official PMA International web page/ blog, are detailed explanations about;
1. PMA International, what we do and do not do.
2. PMA International’s mission statement
3. PMA International’s disclaimers
4. Step by step explanations on how to join PMA International
5. A suggestion list of helpful professionals dealing with family court issues

From this point forward we will still try our best to answer all questions. But because of the great volume of e mails and messages we receive we can no longer guarantee questions asked that have already been answered on this official PMA International website/ blog or on our official PMA International FB page will also be answered through e mail or Face book. If you contact us via email and/or Face book , and do not receive a response, chances are your question has already been answered on our website/ blog and/or our official FB page.
Please carefully read this website/ blog and FB page to learn more about PMA International. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

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PLEASE READ BELOW;

General Disclaimers:

IMPORTANT: PMA INTL DOES NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE. The information on this website/blog is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter. If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.

PMA International is an advocacy organization. We Do Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases In Any Capacity and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys. Since Family Court is a legal matter, you need a legal professional to adequately and legally represent and give guidance on your personal case.

There are many reasons why PMA International does not give advice on your personal custody case. Most importantly, if you have a good attorney that you trust, he/ she knows the specifics of your case in ways we could not. Your best and most accurate advice ( legal or practical) tailored to your specific situation would come from your attorney. We would be reluctant to give advice that may unintentionally lead you down the wrong path since we do not have all the information necessary or the legal expertise to responsibly give said advice. If you do not have the funds for an attorney , we recommend researching legal aid or paralegals in your area. Many DV shelters and womens resource centers offer such referrals. You may also represent yourself, but we suggest including a legal professional as a consultant.

 

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Due to the sensitive nature of the work that we do, PMA has a professional security team and a small group of attorney’s who protect our organization and our protective mothers/advocates.

PMA International is an advocacy organization, NOT a service organization for protective mothers, at this time. Since we are not a service organization, we do not offer on site, local protective mothers’ support groups, or crisis intervention hot lines. We suggest moms research low cost professional counselors in their area or specialists in PTSD, trauma and DV counseling. In our experience, protective mothers have better results turning to professionals, educated, trained and licensed in this specialty, for healing as opposed to fellow protective mothers who are equally in need of healing / support and are not educated or trained in the above. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need emotional support, we suggest you contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline open 24 hours and staffed with trained personnel in crisis intervention and emotional support- 1 800 799 7233.

 

In light of the fact that we are not a service organization-for security reason and per their request- we DO NOT direct people who contact us,to our state or international leaders as they are not set up to work with other protective moms by getting involved in their personal cases.( Please refer to our mission statement). Our
leaders, go through an extensive security check by our security team. Please note; the safety of PMA International’s protective mother/advocates and their children is our priority.

 

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PMA International always has safety as our leading priority. In light of this, PMA international will not release personal information and/or personal custody information about protective mothers and their children who are in active litigation. PMA International will not sponsor, endorse or support any event or activity that is engaging in the above due to the risk involved. PMA International advises protective mothers to be extremely cautious in revealing any personal custody details along with personal information about themselves and their children on the internet. Doing so, might prove to be very risky to you and your children’s personal safety and the outcome of your case. Please read the below link for suggestions on using the internet safely while advocating for your personal custody case.

https://protectivemothersallianceinternational.org/2014/06/04/using-the-internet-safely-while-advocating-for-your-personal-custody-case/

PMA International is an advocacy organization and we are not trying to discourage you from advocating for your personal custody case. We support protective mothers advocating for themselves in smart, safe and creative ways , while in active litigation , as to not endanger themselves, their children and risk the outcome of their case.

PMA International reserves the right to use all personal experiences ,quotes, and stories shared in the comment sections on  this website/blog or our face book page for our campaigns. You and your child/children’s identity will be protected.
We reserve the right to edit or delete any comment on all PMA International venues as we see fit.
We reserve the right to block any user for violating our “no abuse zone” policy or for any other reason as we see fit. As we are also group of protective mothers any comments including but not limited to- name calling, verbal cruelty, threatening comments or critical false accusations made not only to fellow members on our FB page or this website/blog  but also to our organization , ED administrators and/orleaders would also violate our “no abuse zone “ policy and will not be tolerated. The poster of a comment doing the above will be banned from this site, our FB page and all PMA International venues.
Any concern , complaints, questions or issues involving PMA International and/or our members, ED, administrators ,or leaders will be communicated to us in a professional and kind manner through our pages’s FB messaging- not in the comment section on our page, or through email via Gayle Summer PMA International’s  Executive Administrative  Assistant @GayleSummer@gmail.com.  Each concern is taken seriously and will be professionally and promptly addressed with respect , compassion, sensitivity and in a safe manner. Your identity will always be protected. Anyone violating this request will be banned from this site, our FB page and all PMA International venues. As always , all communication with PMA International or with fellow members on all our venues will adhere to our “no abuse zone “ policy.
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The sharing by PMA International of a post, video or meme from another site, on any PMA International’s venues  or events does not indicate PMA International’s endorsement of said site or alignment with said site’s philosophy or mission statement.

Disclaimer for Protective Mothers/Advocates and supporters who are participating in our various projects on this site;

You alone are responsibly for the protection of your identity along with the protection of the identity of your minor child while using this site. PMA Intl assumes no responsibility for the protection of your identity and/or safety and the identity and/or safety of your minor child/ children. We reserve the right to edit all posts for any reason.
Persons posting on this site are solely responsible for abiding by their specific court orders. PMA INTL is not responsibly for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from a person posting on this site who is not in compliance with an order from the court.

 Important Disclaimer ;

PMA International reserves all copyright, trademark, patent, intellectual and other property rights in the information contained in PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.” and ” Love Letters For Our Children Campaign”This includes but is not limited to, all PMA International and PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers’ and” Love Letters To Our Children” specific logos and services logos and no express or implied license is granted in respect thereof. Any unauthorized access, use or reproduction of the information or proprietary rights contained in this site about these campaigns is strictly prohibited and is subject to such action as provided in applicable laws. No information on this PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign” and ” Love Letters For Our Children ” Campaign should be reproduced or distributed for another organization’s or individual’s campaign or advocacy use, without the prior written consent of PMA International. The Information is for your personal use only.

Any unauthorized copying or modification of trade-marks and/or the contents of the PMA International “Unstoppable Mothers “Campaign and ” Love Letters To Our Children” Campaign for another organization’s or individual’s use, including but not limited to, art, art exhibits, all manner of advocacy, written materials,and all manner of social media may be a violation of any law that may apply to trade-marks and/or copyrights and could subject the copier to legal action.

Images and links from  all PMA International  venues , including but not limited to this website/blog and all PMA International campaigns including but not limited to ” Love Letters To Our Children” and ” Unstoppable Mothers” may be used only in a social media/blog content and only when provided that full and clear credit is given to PMA International and said campaigns with appropriate and specific directions to original content.

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For information about helping PMA INTL advocate for family court reform please visit the link below

Please be advised; The link below describes the only official, revised and updated, guidelines for joining PMA International. Any additional postings on any other site about this issue is outdated, null and void, and does not apply.
Thank you.

https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/protective-mothersadvocates-interested-in-joining-pma-international-the-process/

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For a list of professional services for protective mothers dealing with family court abuse and corruption, please visit the link below. Please note the disclaimer on that page.

https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/professional-services-for-protective-mothers-pma-international-list-of-suggestions/

Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation in these matters.

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