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Minors Counsel; Plunder The Booty / Desperate Exes

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http://desperateexes.com/2009/08/24/argh-minors-counsels-plunder-the-booty/

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Have you felt the “hum” at the Stanley Mosk Courthouse? Yeah, it is the “hum” of people talking about “MINOR’S COUNSEL,” aka, “I have a fast boat and a flag with a skull and crossbones, lets take a cruise.” Several lawyers who I respect have mentioned this to me and I too have noticed the power these attorneys have in the capacity of being appointed by the courts as “minors counsel.” You would almost expect them to show up looking a little grandmotherly or a little fatherly. I am actually a little taken aback that they don’t come to court wearing a patch over one eye and a parrot on the shoulder. All the more that makes one wonder what is the actual purpose of these lawyers who get these real lucrative gigs working with kids? Kids who, by the way, under any sense of normalcy would never see a psychologist , or a counselor (unless at school) or for that matter their own attorney, to protect their rights to see if Sunday is better than Saturday for an “overnight,” or that mom cannot fry an egg, or dad does not seem to know how to operate the washer or the dryer. But now they have the misfortune to have two parents who are getting divorced and thus they have their very own Minor’s Counsel…or is it “Miner’s Counsel”…LMAO, I just had a vision of a bearded guy with a shovel digging in a mine and bringing gold ore to the surface.

Folks if you happen to be in court one day and the judge mentions “minor’s counsel,” you too may want to hum “IT TAKES A WORRIED MAN TO SING A WORRIED SONG”. Do not get me wrong here folks, I too was a court appointed investigator many years ago and made a fortune, oops I meant to say a comfortable living, being appointed to represent people who had been arrested, and worked on their defense. It was great, the cops arrested them, the D.A. prosecuted them and I got to defend them, all being paid for by the county (not L.A. by the way…I never thought that the tax payer ever really got it)! It was great!

Back to “miners counsel.” It has been reported that one lawyer who represented a celebrity who had to stop constantly to get coffee and smokes got paid in excess of $400,000 dollars to represent two kids that couldn’t say “poop,“ and there is another one that has made in excess of $100,000 — for what exactly no one can figure out for sure. Now, what I just wrote is for those of you with MONEY and what a gift it is to be appointed by a judge to one of these cases, famous rich people!!! Cha Ching. They will show up for every hearing, every interview I am sure they would not miss even your kid’s bris, this for all my goyim readers is a circumcision. Now for all of you who are wondering about the working class and the poor well you could be ordered to pay half or NO PROBLEM, the county will pay “Da Miner” $125 an hour, and no cap! Take the kid to dinner and a movie and “bill baby,bill.” This is great money, as many of these people could not present a case in court if their life depended on it…not all, but many. So this is great, it is a little like a guy who goes to school to fix cars, he can’t fix crap, so he just moves the cars for the mechanics to fix, very similar.

And wait till you see these “protectors of the children” make there orations in the court room….OMG, this is not funny and can kill your chances of making any headway in your divorce. And most judges that I have observed give these “Miners” free rein to run one or the other or both parents right into the ground. For all my cat lovers, ever notice when your cat drops a smelly one in her kitty litter, well the burying action is very similar to what minor’s counsel can do to whatever position you thought you had in your divorce. And I have seen a few instances of that, “look judge what a great job I did,” did very much appear to me to be a bit over the top…way over the top. And quite frankly are all of these appointees thinking clearly? One or two I have seen appear, how do I put this delicately, NUTS!

Moms and Dads, god help you if your kid is smart enough to play a game on their sometimes overzealous lawyer aka “Minor’s Counsel,“ Oh No Mr. Bill! What real expertise do these people have to deal with children and to interpret what they say and do? Let’s see, a JD degree and a class to be qualified to deal with the children of people going through a divorce, and POOF! it is “show me the money!” My opinion, for the most part this is an appointment with too many flaws. That is the truth, they take a class to get appointed to the panel, LMAO for a few this has been the equivalent of winning the lottery! I ran a juvenile division for a couple of years and I know juveniles and this minor’s counsel thing has to be one of the best gravy trains I have seen in years.

“Mother”- Lita Ford

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This is for all the Protective Mothers with empty arms and hurting hearts who are missing their children every second of every day, but who are deeply hurting tonight , in light of the upcoming Holidays. Know that no matter what, you ARE your children’s mother. No one -and certainly no court- can take away this God-given role in your children’s lives. Please know this in your heart. PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children, now and forever.
This songs’ story;
“Mother” is based of Lita Ford’s experience with DV By Proxy, something she dealt with firsthand when she went through her divorce from now ex-husband Jim Gillette. Ford’s has two sons, James (16,) and Rocco 12,) who she has not seen since the divorce, and has told Decibel:
“My kids are with their dad. He brainwashed them and took them from me, telling them, ‘Oh, you don’t want to go with Mommy. Mommy’s bad.’ He put the entire weight of the divorce on my kids, which is the worst thing any parent could do to their child. It’s like losing your child to some sort of freak, like in the mall, or somebody hanging out in bushes or at a bus stop. You hear all these horror stories. Only, I know where they are – that’s the only difference.”
She hopes the track and video will reach her sons, but says:
“He won’t let them hear it. He won’t let them have anything to do with me. He won’t let them look at any photographs. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life. I wrote this song to tell them how much I love them, that I didn’t mean for this to happen and it’s not my fault. I didn’t do this to them – although they think I did.”
Mother – Lita Ford

Oscar Pistorius Takes the Stand in His Murder Trial

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http://www.mediaite.com/online/watch-live-here-oscar-pistorius-takes-the-stand-in-his-murder-trial-2/

South African Paralympics medalist Oscar Pistorius has pled not guilty to the 2013 murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, in what South Africans are calling their “trial of the century.” He is expected to take the stand again today.

Pistorius is being tried for murder and three firearms-related charges. If convicted, he faces up to 25 years. His live-in girlfriend Steenkamp was found shot to death in the athlete’s home in the early hours of Valentine’s Day.

During the bail hearing, Pistorius claimed he mistook Steenkamp for a burglar who had climbed in through an unprotected bathroom window. He admitted to firing four shots through the door before realizing that it was Steenkamp behind the barrier. His testimony will likely reiterate these elements.

Prosecutors, on the other hand, allege that the couple got into a heated argument, causing Steenkamp to lock herself in the bathroom. They believe Pistorius then shot her through the door out of anger. This angle will certainly come up during cross-examination.

South African law does not require the accused to testify first, but it is seen as a show of confidence in his innocence before a jury.

Follow the trial;

Oscar Pistorius Trial Video Archive

http://www.wildabouttrial.com/one_off/oscar-pistorius-trial-archive/

Pistorius Trial: Oscar’s former close friend turns against him

The Four Dysfunctional Family Roles / Lights Blog

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http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/the-four-dysfunctional-family-roles#axzz2yYrEfEvS

The Four Basic Roles of Dysfunctional Families:
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Golden Child, Scapegoat, Mascot and Lost Child

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Dysfunctional families don’t allow people to be their authentic selves. They dance around their shame, denials and addictions, working to keep everyone in their assigned dysfunctional roles — like it or not.

There are four basic roles in the dysfunctional family:

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The Golden Child/Hero

The golden child is the one who “can do no wrong”. This child is viewed as being the best and the brightest; even if they’re not.
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Some golden children play the part well and end up stuck in the role of success-object, and some golden children are entitled troublemakers who are never expected to actually earn anything, due to their already-favored status. Golden children are expected to abandon their authentic selves in exchange for hollow esteem.

Many golden children wake up much later in life to a nice home, a fancy car, a high-paying job and a supposedly perfect family, all of which they suddenly realize they’d like to trade for something more authentic. Other golden children are the opposite; their lives are a mess because they’ve never had to work to earn their status, and the rest of the world doesn’t reward them similarly for doing nothing.

The Scapegoat

The scapegoat is the child who can “do no right”. This child is viewed as being the reason for everything undesirable and bad, even when they excel.

Some scapegoats enter into the trap of trying harder and harder to redeem themselves in the eyes of their family so they can finally be respected and appreciated for who they really are. They can never be good enough, and will burn themselves out trying to get a pat on the back. Other scapegoats succumb to the role of “bad one” and make waves, because they’re always labeled bad regardless, so they give up trying and rebel in anger.

Many scapegoats spend much of their adult lives still trying to be accepted and appreciated by constantly doing more, giving more and trying more. Other scapegoats spark lots of conflict and difficulties. Scapegoats typically wake up later in life and and realize things aren’t as they should be when their constant efforts to gain respect backfire and get them walked all over at work and at home (or when they get themselves into one too many conflicts pertaining to their adoption of a “who cares” attitude).

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The Lost Child

The Lost Child is the child who withdraws in self-preservation. Ignored and invisible, this child experiences loneliness and a feeling of not belonging.

Many Lost Children remain in the background into their adult lives, hiding from conflict and healthy risk-taking, stuck in the feeling of being a frightened outsider or unimportant “nobody”. Lost children typically wake up later in life to find that they have missed out on many emotional things others have had, such as a sense of connectedness and having made a difference in the world.

Often overlooked, many opportunities for better things have likely passed them by as they retreated into a quiet world which focused on something of value to them that was not likely related to confident interaction (and even conflict) with others. Some lost children take an interest in material possessions or other pursuits with limited social/intimate requirements.
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Mascot/Clown

The Mascot is the child who jokes and distracts the family from the heaviness of its dysfunction. This child expresses the effects of the family’s painful experiences as humor.

Mascots have difficulty accepting and expressing difficult feelings, and will joke their way out of serious circumstances, avoiding the real issue that needs addressing. Mascots may find themselves in entertainment-related fields, since it’s second nature for them to make light of tragedy, pain and suffering. Many mascots awaken later in life to find they have not been taken seriously, or are always counted on to make everyone feel better, perhaps at the expense of acknowledging their own painful realities.

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The Limitations of the concept of family roles

While helpful, the definitions of these roles are imperfect. Some sources claim there are more roles, as many as seven. Some sources claim the golden child/hero only plays the “perfect” role, though there are some golden children who are actually quite entitled, lazy and even antisocial. A similar issue exists with the definition of scapegoats. Some sources claim the scapegoat is “the bad seed”, and others say the scapegoat is the healthiest member of the family.

It’s also been noted that parents may change and mix the roles assigned to a given child based on changes in the family’s needs, experiences, environment and structure. This means it is possible for one child to be both the scapegoat and the lost child, etc., or start out as the golden child and tumble from grace to end up the scapegoat.

Ultimately, these definitions function more like helpful guidelines than scientific analysis, and have helped many people understand the fundamentals of dysfunctional family life.

More Here: http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/the-four-dysfunctional-family-roles#ixzz2yYs5d5J4

April Is Child Abuse Prevention Month

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HEROES

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A Woman Shares Her Day Through Google Glass. It Seems Lovely And Ordinary — Until The End./ Trigger warning: graphic domestic violence.

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“NEVER GIVE UP”/ Yolanda Adams

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“Never Give Up”
Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it’s simple your idea, it won’t make sense to everybody
You need courage now If you’re gonna persevere
To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds
[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you
Don’t give up
Every victory comes in time, work today to change tomorrow
It gets easier, who’s to say that you can’t fly
Every step you take you get, closer to your destination
You can feel it now, don’t you know you’re almost there?
To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds
[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you
[Bridge:]
Who holds the pieces to complete the puzzle?
The answer that can solve a mystery
The key that can unlock your understanding
It’s all inside of you, you have everything you need yeahhhh
Sooooo, keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside, keeps inspiring you to try don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you
Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you’re gotta keep the faith, bring what’s deep inside your heart yeah your
Heart to the light
And never give up Don’t ever give up on you
Nooo don’t give up,
No, no, no, no don’t give up
Oh, no, no, no, no don’t…give…up

What About The Children/ Beautiful song by Yolana Adams- Enjoy!

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W5 investigates: Children on the frontlines of divorce

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This article about DV By Proxy give an example of both genders being guilty of alienation.

The world of divorce is scary for any child. Even when spouses split amicably children can be forced to balance their love and time between two parents.
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Pamela Richardson and her son Dash are seen in an undated image. For almost 12 years, Richardson rarely saw her son because of a campaign by her ex-husband.

Pamela Richardson and her son Dash are seen in an undated image. For almost 12 years, Richardson rarely saw her son because of a campaign by her ex-husband.
Justice Harvey Brownstone, a family court judge in Toronto, is the author of a book on how divorce and custody battles affect children.

Justice Harvey Brownstone, a family court judge in Toronto, is the author of a book on how divorce and custody battles affect children.
Psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch run a camp in Vermont that aims to bring together feuding parents and children together.

Psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch run a camp in Vermont that aims to bring together feuding parents and children together.

But when a divorce becomes especially toxic children can become the target of an unrelenting crusade by one parent to destroy the child’s relationship with the other. Experts call it parental alienation, a persistent campaign by one parent to poison a child’s relationship with the other parent.

Typical tactics include lying or making false allegations about the targeted parent, refusing to let the child see the other parent, even punishing the child for showing affection for the other parent. Experts claim, in its more extreme forms, it is child abuse.

Pamela Richardson

For almost 12 years, Pamela Richardson rarely saw her son Dash because of the campaign her ex-husband waged against her.

According to Richardson, after her marriage dissolved her ex-husband, who had custody of the then-four-year-old, did everything he could to alienate Dash from his mother – fabricating illness, booking activities for Dash to prevent visits; he even arranged to have Richardson banned from Dash’s school.

“I wouldn’t see Dash for, you know, a number of months and not without me trying, not without me doing all the classic things that alienated parents do — cookies on the doorstop, faxes, phone calls, notes, trying to see him at friends’ houses — everything you possibly can to keep that thread of a relationship alive,” said Richardson.

Despite a court order giving her regular visits with Dash, Richardson said her ex-husband did everything he could to keep them apart and to convince their son that she was a bad and uncaring mother.

“There was period of two years, and I added up the hours (with Dash) and it came to 24 – in two years,” Richardson lamented.

Richardson said she wasn’t the only one suffering as a result of the alienation – Dash was suffering too. Alienated from his mother, the once happy little boy turned into an isolated, depressed and angry teenager.

On January 1, 2001, Dash, then 16, jumped off Vancouver’s Granville Street bridge, in the middle of the night, to his death. While Richardson blames her ex-husband, she also blames a court system that she insists did little to intervene and help.

“This is extreme and this was something that was in the courts many, many times…they had an opportunity to do something and they didn’t,” said Richardson.

Parental Alienation and the Courts

Courts are paying more attention. Family court judges are increasingly considering issues of parental alienation in deciding custody.

Justice Harvey Brownstone is a family court judge in Toronto and the author of a book on the bitter realities of divorce court.

“Parents who are on a campaign to destroy the child’s relationship with the other parent could lose custody and, in extreme cases, courts have changed custody to the other parent,” said Brownstone.

He encourages divorcing couples to focus on parenting together rather than using children as a tool of revenge, dragging them through protracted, bitter family feuds.

“While there may be some therapeutic benefits to coming to court and venting and telling a judge how much you were hurt by the other parent’s infidelities or bad conduct, at the end of the day, we are looking at parenting capacity, parenting skills,” he said. “We need to look at how couples are going to reinvent themselves from ex-partners to co-parents.”

Co-parenting

The concept of divorced parents co-parenting isn’t new for psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch. They bring bad-mouthing alienating parents, targeted parents, and their children to a camp in Vermont in an effort to help these broken families learn new ways to properly raise their children

Eight-year-old Tori Cercone knows first hand how it feels to be caught in the middle of a high conflict divorce. “What is so painful is that your mom and dad get separated and they don’t like each other but you like both. And it’s kind of like a contest who you like better”

Two years ago Tori’s parents Fran Beecy and Chris Cercone couldn’t stand to be in the same room after Beecy made abuse allegations against her ex-husband.

“Oh my God, he hated me,” said Beecy. “I was like the big mother bear guarding the door, not letting my ex-husband near my kids…I just wanted to protect them, to keep them safe. And yet he, on the other hand, was just like ‘these are my kids, I want to see them. I have every right to see them.'”

Divorce camp in Vermont changed everything. Today, they visit together, gather for family dinners, and get along.

As Cercone explained, “whichever side you’re on, whether you’re the alienated or the alienator, you’ve got to come to grips that it can’t be about how I feel or getting back at the other one.”

“I think I’m a better mom because I’m happier,” said Beecy. “I’m not trying to create any wedges between my kids and their dad.”

Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/w5-investigates-children-on-the-frontlines-of-divorce-1.451384#ixzz2xhFhvUYh

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