Archive for the ‘Occupy’ Category
You have just entered a PMA INTERNATIONAL NO ABUSE ZONE:
• PMA International stands strong on a zero tolerance approach to any type of abuse. We recognize that you cannot negotiate , work together in peace and harmony , come together in unity with abusers or those who support or enable abusive behaviour . PMA International recognizes that there are different types of abuse and abusers are not gender specific.
• PMA International is dedicated to creating a safe, supportive, abuse free environment for our family of advocates as we work together to fight family court abuse and corruption.
• PMA International is committed to treating those we work with, with kindness, respect and professionalism at all times.
• PMA International remains open to working with other organizations and advocates that share our philosophy.
• PMA International stands strong on unity within the mothers movement and desires to work with other organizations and advocates that have a history of zero tolerance of abuse regardless of gender and organizations and advocates that have a history of treating others with kindness, respect and professionalism.
• PMA International reserves the right to dismiss anyone within our organization with any history of or current abusive behaviour.
• PMA International reserves the right to refuse to work with any organization or advocate with a history of or current abusive behavior. This includes organizations and/ or advocates with a history of working with, promoting and supporting the above.
Welcome to PMA International’s Unstoppable Mothers
Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) has launched Unstoppable Mothers, a powerful photo and essay project to give voice to Protective Mothers and their Children.
The photos depict the loss and grief a Protective Mother experiences when she is forcibly separated from her child(ren) due to family court injustice, or the events she missed in the life of her child.
The essays, in Protective Moms’ own words, are common real life family court situations. Protective Mothers reveal the most outrageous action a judge took in their case. OR, the Protective Mom shares what she has missed most about not being in her child’s life.
How Can You Participate?
Protective mothers may send their quotes to the comment section on this PMA International official website/ Blog. A specific page on this PMA International website/ blog has been set up just for this project.
You may also send your quotes to the comment section of our new Unstoppable Mothers blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.
All signs, quotes, and pictures will be posted on the Unstoppable Mothers’ special page within the “Guardian Of Truth” Blog, and our new Unstoppable Mothers” blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers’ campaign
PMA International will put the Unstoppable Mother’s quote on a sign and take a picture for the project.
Some signs with quotes will be combined with missed milestone pictures taken by PMA International’s talented protective mothers, highlighting their creativity and photography skills.
Some feedback about “Unstoppable Mothers'” photo and essay project;
“Beautiful photography by talented PMA protective mothers, coupled with heartbreaking real life stories of loss in the mothers’ own words. Another stunning PMA Intl. project to raise awareness. TY Janice, Lundy and all the PMA moms!!”
“Participating in this project was very empowering and gave me hope”
“Thank you for capturing a protective mother’s powerful story through her own words and beautiful pictures .”
“Thank you for giving us moms a voice along with gorgeous visuals from talented protective mothers.”
Now that we all understand how to participate and what the ground rules are for this project, Protective Mothers’ Alliance International invites you into our project; a window to our world. We ask you to brace yourselves, step slowly into our shoes, carefully take a step , steal a tiny glimpse , and taste a tiny bite of what life is like as a protective mother. An unstoppable protective mother, enduring one of the darkest atrocities known in the history of our civilization.
In this part of our Wounded Healer series we will begin to explore the various alternative healing modalities. Some of these healing modalities have not been scientifically proven, yet some people have found them helpful. As with all alternative therapies, please use discretion and common sense. Seek the advice of a qualified professional if any questions arise. Always only do what makes you feel comfortable. We will start our exploration of alternative healing modalities with Color therapy or Chromatherapy.
What is Color Therapy or Chromatherapy?
Chromotherapy, sometimes called color therapy, colorology or cromatherapy, is a complementary medicine method.
Color is just light at different wavelengths or frequencies that we see or feel, and use through our senses.
Each color has special properties, from wavelength or frequencies, that can be used in color therapy–those properties affect our senses, and our own physical/mental energy.
Color therapy is using colors to heal. Trained chromotherapists claim to be able to use light in the form of color to balance “energy” wherever a person’s body be lacking, whether it be on physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental levels. The practice is pseudoscientific, since it does not employ the scientific method.
Color therapy is distinct from other types of light therapy, such as ultraviolet blood irradiation, which are scientifically-accepted medical treatments for a number of conditions, and from photobiology, the scientific study of the effects of light on living organisms.
American Civil War General Augustus Pleasonton (1801-1894) conducted his own experiments and in 1876 published his book The Influence Of The Blue Ray Of The Sunlight And Of The Blue Color Of The Sky about how the color blue can improve the growth of crops and livestock and can help heal diseases in humans. This led to modern chromotherapy, influencing scientist Dr. Seth Pancoast and Edwin Dwight Babbitt to conduct experiments and to publish, respectively, Blue and Red Light; or, Light and Its Rays as Medicine (1877) and The Principles of Light and Color.
In 1933, Hindu scientist Dinshah P. Ghadiali[importance?] published “The Spectro Chromemetry Encyclopaedia”, a work on color therapy. Ghadiali claimed to have discovered the scientific principles which explain why and how the different colored rays have various therapeutic effects on organisms. He believed that colors represent chemical potencies in higher octaves of vibration, and for each organism and system of the body there is a particular color that stimulates and another that inhibits the work of that organ or system. Ghadiali also thought that by knowing the action of the different colors upon the different organs and systems of the body, one can apply the correct color that will tend to balance the action of any organ or system that has become abnormal in its functioning or condition. ( Wikipedia).
Throughout the 19th century “color healers” claimed colored glass filters could treat many diseases including constipation and meningitis.
A New Age conceptualisation of the chakras of Indian body culture and their positions in the human body
Practitioners of ayurvedic medicine believe the body has seven “chakras,” which some claim are ‘spiritual centers’, and which are held to be located along the spine. New Age thought associates each of the chakras with a single color of the visible light spectrum, along with a function and organ or bodily system. According to this view, the chakras can become imbalanced and result in physical diseases, but application of the appropriate color can allegedly correct such imbalances. The purported colors and their associations are described as:
Color Chakra Chakra location Alleged function Associated system
Red First Base of the spine Grounding and Survival Gonads, kidneys, spine, sense of smell
Orange</strong Second Lower abdomen, genitals Emotions, sexuality Urinary tract, circulation, reproduction
Yellow Third Solar plexus Power, ego Stomach, liver, gall bladder, pancreas
Green Fourth Heart Love, sense of responsibility Heart, lungs, thymus
Blue Fifth Throat Physical and spiritual communication Throat, ears, mouth, hands
Indigo Sixth Just above the center of the brow, middle of forehead Forgiveness, compassion, understanding Eye, pineal glands
Violet Seventh Crown of the head Connection with universal energies, transmission of ideas and information Pituitary gland, the central nervous system and the cerebral cortex ( Wikipedia).
Color is one of the languages of the soul, just look at inspired or meditative paintings.
They influence our mood and emotions.
They have their impact on our sense of well-being or un-easiness.
Using and avoiding certain colors is a way of self-expression; it sheds light on our personality.
Colors affect our way of perception (light colors make a space look big, a high ceiling looks less high when painted in a dark color, etc.)
Colors have a symbolic meaning which is immediately recognized by our subconsciousness. It must be said that not all colors mean the same to all persons and all cultures.
They influence the flow and amount of energy in our bodies.
Colors tell something about biological attraction.
Keeping this in mind, let us look at how color can help the tired or diseased body and mind. Color healing, known as Chromotherapy, can be implemented in a number of ways. The ancients built great halls of color healing, where individuals entered and were bathed in light that was filtered through various colored glass panels or windows.
Red is thought to be linked to the base chakra and the spine, hips and legs. It’s thought to stimulate and boost physical energy, strengthen willpower, increase circulation, clear congestion and is linked with sexuality.
Orange is thought to encourage joy, socializing and optimism, which is why it’s considered useful for depression or sadness. Orange is associated with the sacral chakra and it’s believed to benefit the kidneys, urinary tract and the reproductive organs.YellowYellow is associated with the solar plexus chakra. An imbalance in the solar plexus chakra is thought to promote fear, apprehension, confusion, lack of determination, introversion or power issues, which this color is believed to balance.
Yellow is associated with the intellect and mental processes and is uplifting. The solar plexus chakra is also thought to influence the digestive system.
Green is a colour that’s thought to encourage emotional stability, purity and calmness. It’s related to the heart chakra, so it’s believed to help with emotional issues, such as love, forgiveness, trust and compassion. An imbalance in the heart chakra is associated with fear of relationships, mistrust, jealousy, isolation and insecurity.BlueBlue is related to the throat chakra and is said to be connected to the throat and lungs. It’s thought to enhance verbal expression and communication, artistic expression and willpower. It’s a calming color and is believed to help insomnia, anxiety, throat problems, high blood pressure, migraine and skin irritation.
Indigo is associated with the third eye chakra, located between the eyes, and is related to the eyes and the lower part of the head. It’s said to encourage greater intuition and strengthen the lymph system, immune system and help purify and cleanse the body.Purple or VioletPurple, or violet, is associated with the crown chakra, which is at the top of the head. It’s thought to encourage spirituality, intuition, wisdom, mastery and mental strength and focus.
To learn more about colors and how color can play a role in healing see the link below and play some fun color games.
Mother – by Lita Ford – from the new album, “Living Like a Runaway” – Producer / Director: Victory Tischler-Blue | Sacred Dogs Entertainment Group | www.sacr...
This is for all the mothers’ missing their children today on MOTHERS’ DAY. Know that no matter what, you ARE your children’s mother. No one -and certainly no court- can take away this God-given role in your children’s lives. Please know this in your heart and celebrate this day with hope. Hope that the truth will prevail and you will soon be reunited with your precious children. PMA INTL loves and supports you and your children… always Happy Mothers’ Day!!! XO
This songs’ story;
“Mother” is based of Lita Ford’s experience with DV By Proxy, something she dealt with firsthand when she went through her divorce from now ex-husband Jim Gillette. Ford’s has two sons, James (16,) and Rocco 12,) who she has not seen since the divorce, and has told Decibel:
“My kids are with their dad. He brainwashed them and took them from me, telling them, ‘Oh, you don’t want to go with Mommy. Mommy’s bad.’ He put the entire weight of the divorce on my kids, which is the worst thing any parent could do to their child. It’s like losing your child to some sort of freak, like in the mall, or somebody hanging out in bushes or at a bus stop. You hear all these horror stories. Only, I know where they are – that’s the only difference.”
She hopes the track and video will reach her sons, but says:
“He won’t let them hear it. He won’t let them have anything to do with me. He won’t let them look at any photographs. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life. I wrote this song to tell them how much I love them, that I didn’t mean for this to happen and it’s not my fault. I didn’t do this to them – although they think I did.”
See on www.youtube.com
Excerpted from When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse by Lundy Bancroft, 2004, G.P. Putnam
Now that I have finished asking you to walk a delicate line between approaching your children as wounded and responding to them as courageous and persevering, I am going to introduce another tricky balancing act:
As much as possible keeping your children from being burdened with adult responsibility, while simultaneously equipping them with strategies for keeping themselves — and you — safe.
If your partner sometimes gets scary or violent, your children are almost certainly aware of the fact, as I discussed early in this book; you cannot avoid that fear by not talking about it. In fact, children feel safer if they can talk to their mothers about how frightened their father’s behavior makes them, and discuss actions they might take next time he erupts. And they aren’t just afraid for themselves; they are worried about you, and they need to be able to express that concern and feel that you hear them. They also want to know how they might be able to protect you.
When you sit with your children, individually or as a group, to talk about safety strategies, be sure to emphasize the following points:
- Adults are responsible for their own safety. Children can help if they want to, but it isn’t their job.
- Safety plans won’t always work, and if someone gets hurt, it isn’t the child’s fault.
- If they make a mistake and do the safety plan wrong, they still aren’t at fault for what happens; the abusive man is always responsible for his own actions.
- They can’t manage Dad or make him change.
- They don’t have to talk with you about safety planning if they don’t want to.
Then begin the discussion by asking your children what they think might help, or what they would like to plan to do next time they feel scared of Dad. Elicit as many ideas from them as possible; in this way you will learn what strategies they may already be using, and they are more likely to be able to effectively practice actions that they have come up with themselves. Then add ideas of your own, and see if you can agree on a plan. Here are some of the strategies I have learned about from families over the years, which you might try to include in your safety plan:
Safety Strategies for Children
- Running out of the home when the incident starts
- Locking themselves in a bedroom
- Locking themselves in a room that has a telephone, and calling for help
- Arranging a code word with friends or relatives, so that they can use the phone to call for help without the abuser knowing what they are doing
- Dialing 911 (or the local emergency number if it is different)
- Running to the home of neighbors who know about the abuse, and calling the police from there (if the police are supportive)
- Siblings agreeing to meet together in a pre-arranged spot
- Making an excuse to get Mom out of the home (such as going outdoors and faking an injury, so that she has to come out to help)
- Keeping a cellular phone hidden somewhere indoors, or in a garage or shed, without the abuser’s knowledge, where the children know where to find it if they need to call for help
- Planning phrases they can say to themselves or to each other to help them stay calm and get through the scary incident (such as, “We’re going to be okay.”)
- Leaving home as soon as they see that Dad has been drinking, or observe other behaviors that they know are warning signs of a scary incident
- Hiding weapons or other dangerous objects in the home so that Dad won’t be able to find them
- Teaching children to call the hotline for abused women in cases where they feel the need for advice about what to do
- Physically or verbally intervening to protect Mom (which can be very dangerous in some cases, so children should discuss the risks of this choice)
In some cases women discover that their children have already made agreements with each other involving these elements or similar ones, but hadn’t mentioned their plans to Mom because of feeling that the abuse was an issue they were not supposed to mention, or out of fear of making Mom feel embarrassed or ashamed.
I have heard a few professionals argue that safety planning with children of abused women is inappropriate, because it burdens them unduly with adult responsibility, reinforcing a dynamic that is already part of their experience. But in practice safety planning seems to make this burden less rather than increasing it; children already feel a profound desire, and a great need, to protect their mothers, as came across powerfully in Caroline McGee’s interviews. The only way to truly relieve that burden is to end or escape the abuse, which is far from easy to do, as I discussed in earlier chapters. In the mean time, most children are better off with some empowerment than without it.
If you have not made a safety plan for yourself, apart from any safety planning with your children, I would encourage you to do so first. You can look in Chapter 9 of Why Does He Do That? for an introduction to creating your own plan, but I encourage you if at all possible to work in conjunction with an advocate at a program for abused women. (And if you do not have time or transportation to get to the program, work with an advocate there by telephone).
Safety Planning for Unsupervised Visitation
As I discussed in Chapter 13, it is tragically common for family courts to require women to send their children on unsupervised visits with their abusive fathers, even in cases where there is an extensive and well-documented history of physical violence and/or sexual boundary violations on the part of the abuser.
Safety planning for unsupervised visitation can follow the points above, with the following additional considerations:
- Have them think through the set-up at their father’s home, perhaps even drawing a diagram with you, to consider where they could get behind a locked door, get access to a telephone, or both.
- Make sure they know your telephone number by heart.
- Send them on visits with a photograph of you that they can look at for reassurance, a stuffed animal they can hold, or other objects that can help them get through times of feeling afraid, insecure, or lonely.
- Let them know that they should make their own safety their top priority, even if it means they need to go along with their father on speaking badly about you or take other steps to placate him and keep him happy.
- Prepare them for how best to deal with his efforts to pump them for information about you (which a large proportion of abusers do in unsupervised visitation). Let them know that they can tell him what he is asking for if they feel that their safety depends on doing so, but that it is important when they get back home for them to tell you what they told him. (For example, if he has found out from them where you work, or the fact that you are dating a new partner, it is important for you to be able to plan for his possible reactions.)
- As above, discuss how the children might respond if they see signs that Dad has been drinking or see other danger signals, including what to do if he attempts to drive in the car with them while he is intoxicated.
- If you are concerned about possible abduction by the abuser, rehearse with your children their full name, the town and state you live in, and how to call 911. Discuss strategies for passing written messages to other adults to indicate that they are being abducted, or to leave messages in public restroom (especially women’s rooms where the abuser is unlikely to go).
As with safety planning when the abuser still lives at home, try to discuss the children’s anxieties openly with them while simultaneously trying not to alarm them or intensify their fears. Remind them that when safety plans don’t work, they are in no way to blame.
If you are involved in court litigation with your ex-partner over custody or visitation, the fact that you talked to your children about safety planning could be used against you, as the abuser may claim that you have been inculcating fear into the children that wasn’t there previously. Because of this risk, you might want to try to arrange with a professional to work out the safety plans with your children, either a therapist or an advocate at a program for abused women. If these resources are not available to you, you might want to only safety plan with children in cases where you are confident that they will not mention the plan to the abuser. (As I discussed in Chapter 5, secret-keeping needs to be avoided as much as possible with children who are exposed to an abusive man; if you ask them not to tell their father about the safety planning, be sure to emphasize to them that in general it is inappropriate for adults to ask children to keep secrets, and that the only exception is in cases where certain secrets are necessary to keep them safe and the child doesn’t mind keeping the secret.)
One would certainly hope that unsupervised visits would be stopped by the court if children continued over time to feel unsafe during them, but in practice children’s continued anxieties are often blamed on the mother, so long-term coping strategies can be necessary. These might include finding ways to secretly call Mom on the phone to talk, writing in journals to help keep their own sanity, tuning out their fears or loneliness by watching a lot of movies at Dad’s house (though heavy video exposure creates problems of its own, as I discussed earlier), and other approaches to psychological survival that you and your child might brainstorm together.