Archive for the ‘PMA’ Category
Happy August Birthday Month Arianna( A Birthday Wish From a Protective Mom To Her Beloved Daughter)/ Love Letters To Our Children
© K.A 2016 Love Letters To Our Children
Happy Birthday month
My Beautiful Arianna!!!
Mommy Loves you more than the Sun & the Moon!!!
You are my shining star!!
PMA International has launched a new series called”TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms – Ask PMA”.
Once a month, PMA International will share with our members/supporters on our official PMA International Facebook page, commonly asked questions and concerns about family court abuse, domestic abuse and personality disorder issues. Parenting tips for children of all ages whose families have been affected by the above will also be a topic of conversation.
Emphasis on peer support and drawing from our wide range of experiences on these issues is our goal. PMA International will encourage all our members and supporters to offer their insights and opinions to each situation addressed.
We are confident as this series continues you will gain knowledge, hope and discover the Protective Mother Hero within yourself and each other.
~ The PMA International Team
(We start the TIPSS series in June 2016. You may send your questions in a FB message on our FB site until further notice,link below)
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA Does Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys.
The information from this series is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter.
If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.
TIPSS 4 Hero Protective Moms- ask PMA is based on opinions and experiences only and is not meant to serve as a substitute for legal advice from a qualified professional.
For your safety, we strongly suggest you do not use any identifying information about yourself, your minor child or your legal issues.
PMA International reserves the right to edit both submissions and responses for your safety and safety of your minor child.
Originally posted on Lundy Bancroft’s Prevention, Response, and Healing for Domestic Abuse and Child Maltreatment blog ( link below).
FYI ; this was written before PMA became international ( PMA International)
As always Thank you for your involvement, and support, Lundy. We love and support you back.
In the long term, the only reliable way to keep children safe is to bring about a revolutionary change in how family law courts across the continent respond to child custody and visitation disputes, especially those containing reports of domestic violence or severe psychological abuse, child physical abuse, and child sexual abuse. These reforms need to require the courts to follow rules of evidence and operate in an unbiased way, and need to involve better oversight of courts by administrators and by appeals courts. We probably also need to move away from the single-judge system, which gives an unreasonable amount of power to one individual over decisions that can harm children (and parents) for the rest of their lives. These reforms also need to specifically address gender bias in the child custody system, because mothers are being targeted for especially horrible treatment in the courts. Finally, the system by which attorneys, custody evaluators, guardians, and psychological evaluators are paid need dramatic reformation, so that a family’s resources go primarily to the children’s future, not into the pockets of professionals.
The key to building a successful movement for family justice is to have protective mothers themselves occupying the key positions of leadership within the movement. Allies also have an important role to play. For example, there are many men who are interested in being active in building this movement, especially the brothers, fathers, and new partners (new husbands and boyfriends) of protective mothers, who have witnessed up close what happens when a woman attempts to protect her children from a violent father post-separation.
There are many organizations nationally working for custody justice for protective mothers, and for protective parents of both sexes. A national organization that I am part of, the Protective Mothers Alliance, is committed to promoting the leadership of protective mothers themselves and to helping build a coordinated national movement of mothers and their allies.
Happy Fathers’ Day To The Good Dads/ Janice Levinson Protective Mothers’ Alliance INTL. Executive Director/ Co-founder
View the original post here
What Makes A Good Dad????
I posed this question to our PMA INTL.Protective Moms, Advocates , Administrators, Leaders and Members. We came up with the following list:
Note: this list also applies to dads no longer in a relationship with the mother of their child/children
1. Any dad who supports the mother of his child/children emotionally, physically, and financially.
2. Dads who teach their child/children by words and actions to respect their mothers and women in general.
3. Any dad who sets an example for his child/ children that his family is always his priority.
4. Dads who stand firm as a role model for his child/ children of honesty, integrity, dependability and kindness.
5. Dads who are available for their families emotionally and physically.
6. All dads who role model for their child/children positive work ethics.
7. All dads who discipline in a firm, yet fair and loving way.
8. Dads who are concerned for the safety of their child/children and their child/ children’s mother.
9. All dads who know how to disagree with respect and without violence or abuse of any kind.
10. Any dad who teaches his child/children that it is ok to make mistakes and points out his mistakes as an example.
11. All dads who embrace the washing machine and diaper changing.
12. Any dad who knows how to find the kitchen.
13. All dads who comprehend, appreciate and respect the challenges women and mothers face in our world today.
14. Any dad who knows how to tolerate and even pretend to enjoy a trip to the mall, theme park, children’s’ concert ect. with his family.
15. Dads who can demonstrate that family time is more important than his favorite sports event.
16. Any dad who can be a good listener and a strong consistent shoulder
17. All dads who are not afraid to get silly .
18. Dads who embrace water fights, pillow fights and up -all- night sleepovers .
19. Any dad not afraid to sing , dance, and play on the floor with his child/children
20. Dads who play dress up and have tea parties
Add to our list in the comment section . We would love to hear your thoughts.
We at PMA International honor “The Good Dad” on this Fathers’ Day.
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ David O. McKay
PMA has previously posted links and articles about developing critical thinking skills. Critical thinking is especially helpful in healing from the damaging effects of abuse, as it can help you to identify the controlling and deceitful tactics of the abuser so you can begin to heal, and re-establish your identity free of violence. Taught to children, critical thinking contributes to healthy self-esteem and the ability to think independently Critical thinking skills may also be a buffer against DV By Proxy. PMA INTL will go further down this path by discussing BIAS.
Identifying and dealing with bias involves the use of critical thinking skills; this article will reveal the different types of bias and discuss how bias affects a person’s ability to see the world as it really is. Some bias is a normal part of life, to some degree everyone has bias; but left unchecked bias can damage the ability to think rationally, and damage the ability to develop healthy relationships with others. For traumatized protective mothers recognizing personal bias and using critical thinking skills, may help protect against re- victimization and manipulations from any source. This article will offer tips on how to prevent bias from becoming an unhealthy influence, again using critical thinking as a powerful tool for self empowerment.
Bias is defined as prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.
Nowhere is it more crucial for information to be precise than in the intelligence community. In this arena it is a matter of life , death and global peace to be certain that information received is exact and not viewed from the lens of biased eyes. Yet, there have always been problems associated with the accurate analysis of information within the intelligence community. These problems always occur because the human mind is easily influenced by many factors in the environment. In the case of the Cold War, these factors contributed to problems and failures in intelligence. Biases and perceptions can lead to a misconstrued view of reality and the way we process information. http://smallwarsjournal.com/jrnl/art/bias-and-perception-how-it-affects-our-judgment-in-decision-making-and-analysis
What is Psychological Bias?
Psychologists Daniel Kahneman, Paul Slovic, and Amos Tversky introduced the concept of psychological bias in the early 1970s. They published their findings in their 1982 book, “Judgment Under Uncertainty.”
They discovered that psychological bias – also known as cognitive bias – is the inclination to make decisions or take action in a less than logical way.
Common Psychological Biases
Below, are five psychological biases that are common in decision making. Along with suggestions on how to overcome them
1. Confirmation Bias
Confirmation bias is looking for information that supports your existing beliefs, and rejecting information that go against your beliefs. A 2013 study found that confirmation bias can affect the way that people view statistics. This can lead you to make biased decisions, since all relevant information is not factored in to your decision.
How to Avoid Confirmation Bias
1. Seek out information from a range of sources, to challenge what you think and learn more about a subject.
2. Use an approach such as the ‘Six Thinking Hats” technique to consider situations from various perspectives. http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_07.htm
3. Discuss your thoughts with others. You may consider joining a club, attending community ed or attending an open mic or jam session as way to participate in or hear lively discussions.
4. Surround yourself with a diverse group of people. You may consider going to community or religious celebrations different than your own, visiting museums/historical sites or volunteering in your community to be exposed to new experiences.
5.Listen to opposing views. This could be as simple as listening to a radio station you have never heard before, or taking the time to talk with a rebellious teenager (kidding).
6.Seek out people and information that challenge your opinions, please use boundaries (especially if you have a history of abuse) to ensure the conversations remain respectful as well as enjoyable.
7.Assign someone you trust to give feedback for major decisions or decisions you struggle with.
2. Anchoring (“ first impression bias”)
This bias is the tendency to jump to conclusions before all the facts are gathered.
How to Avoid Anchoring
Anchoring may happen if you have a tendency to act hastily or are under pressure to make a decision.
NOTE: This is different from the triggers victims of abuse commonly experience; triggers are reactions to past trauma that cause a chemical reaction in the body, causing a person to relive the or experience flashbacks of trauma. A person reacting to a trigger is not biased, though they do experience intense pressure or anxiety it is related to something that has caused them to re-experience or remember a painful event. This is NOT a bias.
1.Reflect on your history, and think about times when you have a past history of rushing to judgment
2.Make decisions slowly, use relaxation or calming techniques if you need (deep breath, music, positive affirmations, etc.)
3. Ask for longer time for decision making. (If someone is pressing aggressively for a decision, this can be a sign that the thing they’re pushing for is against your best interests.)
3. Overconfidence Bias
Placing too much faith in your own knowledge. Believing that your contribution to a decision is more valuable than it actually is.
How to Avoid Overconfidence Bias
Consider the following questions:
1.What sources of information do you tend to rely on when you make decisions?
2 Are these fact-based, or do you rely on hunches?
3. Who else is involved in gathering information?
4.Has information been gathered systematically?
Consider what you can do to gather comprehensive, objective data, if you feel your information has been unreliable.
4. Gambler’s Fallacy
With the gambler’s fallacy, you expect past success to always influence the future
In fact, outcomes are highly uncertain. The number of successes that you’ve had previously has a small impact on the future.
How to Avoid Gambler’s Fallacy
1. Look at trends from a number of angles, especially those that challenge past events.
2. Look deep into data, research, studies.
5. Fundamental Attribution Error
Blaming others when things go wrong, instead of looking objectively at the situation. Blaming or judging someone based on a stereotype or a perceived personality flaw.
How to Avoid Fundamental Attribution Error
1.Look at situations, and the people involved in them, non-judgmentally.
2. Use empathy
3. Look at situations from a cultural perspective, if appropriate..
It’s hard to spot psychological bias in ourselves because it often comes from subconscious thinking.
For this reason, it can often be unwise to make major decisions on your own. http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/avoiding-psychological-bias.htm