Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

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Care More… BE That Change!!

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I Will Not Be Broken- Bonnie Raitt

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I Will Not Be Broken– Bonnie Raitt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_FcAg4ObRQ&list=PLM5wuhi5jHxlkAO9SifQ54R1ZMhTHoSGd&index=24

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Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can’t hold what’s within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I’m not going
I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be…

I won’t let you near it
I will let my spirit fly
Fly
High
Oh take me down

Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can’t hold what’s within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I’m not going
I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be…

Oscar Pistorius Takes the Stand in His Murder Trial

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http://www.mediaite.com/online/watch-live-here-oscar-pistorius-takes-the-stand-in-his-murder-trial-2/

South African Paralympics medalist Oscar Pistorius has pled not guilty to the 2013 murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, in what South Africans are calling their “trial of the century.” He is expected to take the stand again today.

Pistorius is being tried for murder and three firearms-related charges. If convicted, he faces up to 25 years. His live-in girlfriend Steenkamp was found shot to death in the athlete’s home in the early hours of Valentine’s Day.

During the bail hearing, Pistorius claimed he mistook Steenkamp for a burglar who had climbed in through an unprotected bathroom window. He admitted to firing four shots through the door before realizing that it was Steenkamp behind the barrier. His testimony will likely reiterate these elements.

Prosecutors, on the other hand, allege that the couple got into a heated argument, causing Steenkamp to lock herself in the bathroom. They believe Pistorius then shot her through the door out of anger. This angle will certainly come up during cross-examination.

South African law does not require the accused to testify first, but it is seen as a show of confidence in his innocence before a jury.

Follow the trial;

Oscar Pistorius Trial Video Archive

http://www.wildabouttrial.com/one_off/oscar-pistorius-trial-archive/

Pistorius Trial: Oscar’s former close friend turns against him

Welcome To Protective Mothers’ Alliance International

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WELCOME TO PROTECTIVE MOTHERS’ ALLIANCE INTERNATIONAL( PMA Intl. )

Protective Mothers Alliance International(PMA INTL). is an international protective mother-driven organization that includes a global network of like-minded organizations working as a team for positive change. Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) is co founded by Lundy Bancroft and Janice Levinson, with Janice Levinson as Executive Director. The PMA INTL family consists of protective mother-driven advocates working together as a tight team for change. PMA INTL is working toward bringing about dramatic reform in family court for protective mothers and their children. PMA INTL. advocates for change through education, community and media outreach and other creative strategies that may be effective and beneficial. PMA INTL. supports the efforts of protective mothers in keeping themselves and their children safe from the abuse of a former partner, and in empowering these mothers to become advocates for themselves and others. PMA INTL. has several networks/groups including but not limited to: Man Up for Moms ((M.U.M), Hear us NOW!! ( H.U.N) Healing and Prayer, STOP DV by Proxy. PMA’s very successful blog talk radio shows had over 6 thousand listeners. PMA INTl’s blog entitled: “The Guardian of Truth” continues to be an effective vehicle for education about family court abuse. Protective Mothers Alliance International has launched a gold ribbon campaign in an effort to reunite protective mothers and their children who have been separated by the family court.We invite all advocates and their allies around the globe to wear gold ribbons, to symbolize the effort that protective mothers and their allies are making to reunite children with their moms.
Please join us in supporting this campaign. ” The beautiful memories that we have of our beloved children are golden and can NEVER be erased from our hearts and minds”

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PMA International’s specialty is working with abused mothers and their children who are dealing with family court injustice. This does not mean that we have an agenda against men, or that we are anti-father or that we are blind to the fact that some women and mothers can be abusers too.
When Janice Levinson and Lundy Bancroft created PMA International, there were many groups helping fathers but very few helping abused mothers in family court. Janice and Lundy created PMA International to be an organization that consists of volunteer protective mothers because they saw a need, and decided to step up and help abused mothers and their children. Creating an organization of protective mothers who advocate for positive change in family court also speaks to both Lundy and Janice’s background, expertise and personal experiences. Because PMA International is a group of protective mothers and because of our vast collective experience with family court, DV, and personality disorder issues, we are very specialized in the work we do.

 

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Disclaimers:

Disclaimer regarding contacting PMA International;
PMA International is inundated on a daily basis with e mails and Face book messages . Although we love to hear from our valued members, please keep in mind, that PMA INTL is an all volunteer organization. The PMA INTL Administrative Assistants do their best to respond to each and every inquiry, but we find that most questions are very similar. In light of this , included on this official PMA International web page/ blog, are detailed explanations about;
1. PMA International, what we do and do not do.
2. PMA International’s mission statement
3. PMA International’s disclaimers
4. Step by step explanations on how to join PMA International
5. A suggestion list of helpful professionals dealing with family court issues

From this point forward we will still try our best to answer all questions. But because of the great volume of e mails and messages we receive we can no longer guarantee questions asked that have already been answered on this official PMA International website/ blog or on our official PMA International FB page will also be answered through e mail or Face book. If you contact us via email and/or Face book , and do not receive a response, chances are your question has already been answered on our website/ blog and/or our official FB page.
Please carefully read this website/ blog and FB page to learn more about PMA International. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

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PLEASE READ BELOW;

General Disclaimers:

IMPORTANT: PMA INTL DOES NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE. The information on this website/blog is not intended to serve as legal advice or as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of any particular legal matter. If you have a legal problem, seek professional legal counsel.

PMA International is an advocacy organization. We Do Not Get Involved In Personal Custody Cases In Any Capacity and cannot give advice/ legal advice, on personal custody cases, as we are not attorneys. Since Family Court is a legal matter, you need a legal professional to adequately and legally represent and give guidance on your personal case.

There are many reasons why PMA International does not give advice on your personal custody case. Most importantly, if you have a good attorney that you trust, he/ she knows the specifics of your case in ways we could not. Your best and most accurate advice ( legal or practical) tailored to your specific situation would come from your attorney. We would be reluctant to give advice that may unintentionally lead you down the wrong path since we do not have all the information necessary or the legal expertise to responsibly give said advice. If you do not have the funds for an attorney , we recommend researching legal aid or paralegals in your area. Many DV shelters and womens resource centers offer such referrals. You may also represent yourself, but we suggest including a legal professional as a consultant.

 

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Due to the sensitive nature of the work that we do, PMA has a professional security team and a small group of attorney’s who protect our organization and our protective mothers/advocates.

PMA International is an advocacy organization, NOT a service organization for protective mothers, at this time. Since we are not a service organization, we do not offer on site, local protective mothers’ support groups, or crisis intervention hot lines. We suggest moms research low cost professional counselors in their area or specialists in PTSD, trauma and DV counseling. In our experience, protective mothers have better results turning to professionals, educated, trained and licensed in this specialty, for healing as opposed to fellow protective mothers who are equally in need of healing / support and are not educated or trained in the above. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need emotional support, we suggest you contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline open 24 hours and staffed with trained personnel in crisis intervention and emotional support- 1 800 799 7233.

 

In light of the fact that we are not a service organization-for security reason and per their request- we DO NOT direct people who contact us,to our state or international leaders as they are not set up to work with other protective moms by getting involved in their personal cases.( Please refer to our mission statement). Our
leaders, go through an extensive security check by our security team. Please note; the safety of PMA International’s protective mother/advocates and their children is our priority.

 

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PMA International always has safety as our leading priority. In light of this, PMA international will not release personal information and/or personal custody information about protective mothers and their children who are in active litigation. PMA International will not sponsor, endorse or support any event or activity that is engaging in the above due to the risk involved. PMA International advises protective mothers to be extremely cautious in revealing any personal custody details along with personal information about themselves and their children on the internet. Doing so, might prove to be very risky to you and your children’s personal safety and the outcome of your case. Please read the below link for suggestions on using the internet safely while advocating for your personal custody case.

https://protectivemothersallianceinternational.org/2014/06/04/using-the-internet-safely-while-advocating-for-your-personal-custody-case/

PMA International is an advocacy organization and we are not trying to discourage you from advocating for your personal custody case. We support protective mothers advocating for themselves in smart, safe and creative ways , while in active litigation , as to not endanger themselves, their children and risk the outcome of their case.

PMA International reserves the right to use all personal experiences ,quotes, and stories shared in the comment sections on  this website/blog or our face book page for our campaigns. You and your child/children’s identity will be protected.
We reserve the right to edit or delete any comment on all PMA International venues as we see fit.
We reserve the right to block any user for violating our “no abuse zone” policy or for any other reason as we see fit. As we are also group of protective mothers any comments including but not limited to- name calling, verbal cruelty, threatening comments or critical false accusations made not only to fellow members on our FB page or this website/blog  but also to our organization , ED administrators and/orleaders would also violate our “no abuse zone “ policy and will not be tolerated. The poster of a comment doing the above will be banned from this site, our FB page and all PMA International venues.
Any concern , complaints, questions or issues involving PMA International and/or our members, ED, administrators ,or leaders will be communicated to us in a professional and kind manner through our pages’s FB messaging- not in the comment section on our page, or through email via Gayle Summer PMA International’s  Executive Administrative  Assistant @GayleSummer@gmail.com.  Each concern is taken seriously and will be professionally and promptly addressed with respect , compassion, sensitivity and in a safe manner. Your identity will always be protected. Anyone violating this request will be banned from this site, our FB page and all PMA International venues. As always , all communication with PMA International or with fellow members on all our venues will adhere to our “no abuse zone “ policy.
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The sharing by PMA International of a post, video or meme from another site, on any PMA International’s venues  or events does not indicate PMA International’s endorsement of said site or alignment with said site’s philosophy or mission statement.

Disclaimer for Protective Mothers/Advocates and supporters who are participating in our various projects on this site;

You alone are responsibly for the protection of your identity along with the protection of the identity of your minor child while using this site. PMA Intl assumes no responsibility for the protection of your identity and/or safety and the identity and/or safety of your minor child/ children. We reserve the right to edit all posts for any reason.
Persons posting on this site are solely responsible for abiding by their specific court orders. PMA INTL is not responsibly for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from a person posting on this site who is not in compliance with an order from the court.

 Important Disclaimer ;

PMA International reserves all copyright, trademark, patent, intellectual and other property rights in the information contained in PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.” and ” Love Letters For Our Children Campaign”This includes but is not limited to, all PMA International and PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers’ and” Love Letters To Our Children” specific logos and services logos and no express or implied license is granted in respect thereof. Any unauthorized access, use or reproduction of the information or proprietary rights contained in this site about these campaigns is strictly prohibited and is subject to such action as provided in applicable laws. No information on this PMA International’s “Unstoppable Mothers Campaign” and ” Love Letters For Our Children ” Campaign should be reproduced or distributed for another organization’s or individual’s campaign or advocacy use, without the prior written consent of PMA International. The Information is for your personal use only.

Any unauthorized copying or modification of trade-marks and/or the contents of the PMA International “Unstoppable Mothers “Campaign and ” Love Letters To Our Children” Campaign for another organization’s or individual’s use, including but not limited to, art, art exhibits, all manner of advocacy, written materials,and all manner of social media may be a violation of any law that may apply to trade-marks and/or copyrights and could subject the copier to legal action.

Images and links from  all PMA International  venues , including but not limited to this website/blog and all PMA International campaigns including but not limited to ” Love Letters To Our Children” and ” Unstoppable Mothers” may be used only in a social media/blog content and only when provided that full and clear credit is given to PMA International and said campaigns with appropriate and specific directions to original content.

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For information about helping PMA INTL advocate for family court reform please visit the link below

Please be advised; The link below describes the only official, revised and updated, guidelines for joining PMA International. Any additional postings on any other site about this issue is outdated, null and void, and does not apply.
Thank you.

https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/protective-mothersadvocates-interested-in-joining-pma-international-the-process/

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For a list of professional services for protective mothers dealing with family court abuse and corruption, please visit the link below. Please note the disclaimer on that page.

https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/professional-services-for-protective-mothers-pma-international-list-of-suggestions/

Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation in these matters.

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PMA INTERNATIONAL’s” NO ABUSE ZONE” Policy

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You have just entered a PMA INTERNATIONAL NO ABUSE ZONE:

• PMA International stands strong on a zero tolerance approach to any type of abuse. We recognize that you cannot negotiate , work together in peace and harmony , come together in unity with abusers or those who support or enable abusive behaviour . PMA International recognizes that there are different types of abuse and abusers are not gender specific.

• PMA International is dedicated to creating a safe, supportive, abuse free environment for our family of advocates as we work together to fight family court abuse and corruption.

• PMA International is committed to treating those we work with, with kindness, respect and professionalism at all times.

• PMA International remains open to working with other organizations and advocates that share our philosophy.

• PMA International stands strong on unity within the mothers movement and desires to work with other organizations and advocates that have a history of zero tolerance of abuse regardless of gender and organizations and advocates that have a history of treating others with kindness, respect and professionalism.

• PMA International reserves the right to dismiss anyone within our organization with any history of or current abusive behaviour.

• PMA International reserves the right to refuse to work with any organization or advocate with a history of or current abusive behavior. This includes organizations and/ or advocates with a history of working with, promoting and supporting the above.

UNSTOPPABLE MOTHERS

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Welcome to PMA International’s Unstoppable Mothers

Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) has launched Unstoppable Mothers, a powerful photo and essay project to give voice to Protective Mothers and their Children.

The photos depict the loss and grief a Protective Mother experiences when she is forcibly separated from her child(ren) due to family court injustice,  the events she missed in the life of her child or abuser quotes.

The essays, in Protective Moms’ own words, are common real life family court situations. Protective Mothers reveal the most outrageous action a judge took in their case.and/ OR, the Protective Mom shares what she has missed most about not being in her child’s life and/or the Protective Mom shares her abuser’s quotes.

How Can You Participate?

Protective mothers may send their quotes to the comment section  of our new Unstoppable Mothers blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers Campaign.
https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com

Protective mothers may also read some earlier quotes on this site at-
https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/unstoppable-mothers/

All signs, quotes, and pictures will be posted on  our new Unstoppable Mothers” blog devoted specifically to this Unstoppable Mothers’ campaign

https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com

PMA International will put the Unstoppable Mother’s quote on a sign ,  an appropriate picture or an image for the project.

Some signs with quotes will be combined with missed milestone pictures taken by PMA International’s talented protective mothers, highlighting their creativity and photography skills.

Some feedback about “Unstoppable Mothers'” photo and essay project;

“Beautiful photography by talented PMA protective mothers, coupled with heartbreaking real life stories of loss in the mothers’ own words. Another stunning PMA Intl. project to raise awareness. TY Janice, Lundy and all the PMA moms!!”
G.S

“Participating in this project was very empowering and gave me hope”
S.C

“Thank you for capturing a protective mother’s powerful story through her own words and beautiful pictures .”
M.J

“Thank you for giving us moms a voice along with gorgeous visuals from talented protective mothers.”
K.R

” Powerful”
J.S

Now that we all understand how to participate and what the ground rules are for this project, Protective Mothers’ Alliance International invites you into our project; a window to our world. We ask you to brace yourselves, step slowly into our shoes,  carefully take a step , steal a tiny glimpse , and taste a tiny bite of what life is like as a protective mother. An unstoppable protective mother, enduring one of the darkest atrocities known in the history of our civilization.

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Enter:

 

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https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/unstoppable-mothers/

https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com

Why stay-at-home moms need a ‘postnup’

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See on Scoop.itThe War Against Mothers

Considering leaving your job to become a stay-at-home mom? Financial advisor Jeff Landers says it’s important to get an agreement.

See on www.cnbc.com

Wounded Healer; The Series/ Part 2

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As protective mothers we all know how difficult holidays, birthdays and other traumatic events can be .Since holidays are just around the corner PMA International protective moms have put together some helpful tips on self care specifically tailored for these occasions

Tools to Empower You on Anniversaries of Traumatic Events;

1.Strategize
Decide in advance who you want to see and who you don’t want to spend time with. Plan your activities so you spend the most time with people who are good for you, minimize time with people who are not loving and kind. While spending time with those who trigger you, try to remain calm, deep breathe and remember sometimes the best response is no response. Leave the room to re group if you must, have the phone number of a supportive friend to call for emotional support.

2. Have an Escape Plan
You can’t always anticipate how you’re going to feel and who’s going to say or do what triggers you. Have a self care plan for a quick getaway.

3 Take Time out
It is important to plan in advance or be prepared for much needed down times, giving you a chance to decompress. It’s best to plan these down times in advance and stick to the self care schedule as much as possible.

4 Do What feels most comfortable
It’s ok for you to say “NO” pick and choose what you want to participate in. Setting healthy boundaries in respect to others expectations is very important.

5 Pace yourself
If you feel overwhelmed , slow down. It’s better to break plans than to follow through with them while feeling overwhelmed. When you feel you are reaching your limit, pull back, give yourself some space and refuse feel guilty about it. Replace negative self talk or memories with positive loving affirmations

6 Maintain your privacy
Lovingly taking care of your emotional needs during anniversaries of traumatic events or holidays does not require you to explain Ptsd or your story to everyone you know. It’s alright to decline an invitation without giving a full explanation . Certainly share your reason with people you trust and love, but for others a simple, “NO” thank you,” is enough.

Do what feels right for you In every moment follow your intuition. Your own inner voice knows what you need, tune in and listen to it. Feel free to explore options within your community for support.

Know Your life has a purpose, Your voice matters. You are stronger than you think. You can heal and move on towards a healed, happy and productive life.

PMA International loves and supports you and your precious children.

Stay tune for Part 3

Safety Planning with Children of Battered Women By Lundy Bancroft

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Excerpted from When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse by Lundy Bancroft, 2004, G.P. Putnam

Now that I have finished asking you to walk a delicate line between approaching your children as wounded and responding to them as courageous and persevering, I am going to introduce another tricky balancing act:

As much as possible keeping your children from being burdened with adult responsibility, while simultaneously equipping them with strategies for keeping themselves — and you — safe.

If your partner sometimes gets scary or violent, your children are almost certainly aware of the fact, as I discussed early in this book; you cannot avoid that fear by not talking about it. In fact, children feel safer if they can talk to their mothers about how frightened their father’s behavior makes them, and discuss actions they might take next time he erupts. And they aren’t just afraid for themselves; they are worried about you, and they need to be able to express that concern and feel that you hear them. They also want to know how they might be able to protect you.

When you sit with your children, individually or as a group, to talk about safety strategies, be sure to emphasize the following points:

  • Adults are responsible for their own safety. Children can help if they want to, but it isn’t their job.
  • Safety plans won’t always work, and if someone gets hurt, it isn’t the child’s fault.
  • If they make a mistake and do the safety plan wrong, they still aren’t at fault for what happens; the abusive man is always responsible for his own actions.
  • They can’t manage Dad or make him change.
  • They don’t have to talk with you about safety planning if they don’t want to.

Then begin the discussion by asking your children what they think might help, or what they would like to plan to do next time they feel scared of Dad. Elicit as many ideas from them as possible; in this way you will learn what strategies they may already be using, and they are more likely to be able to effectively practice actions that they have come up with themselves. Then add ideas of your own, and see if you can agree on a plan. Here are some of the strategies I have learned about from families over the years, which you might try to include in your safety plan:

Safety Strategies for Children

  • Running out of the home when the incident starts
  • Locking themselves in a bedroom
  • Locking themselves in a room that has a telephone, and calling for help
  • Arranging a code word with friends or relatives, so that they can use the phone to call for help without the abuser knowing what they are doing
  • Dialing 911 (or the local emergency number if it is different)
  • Running to the home of neighbors who know about the abuse, and calling the police from there (if the police are supportive)
  • Siblings agreeing to meet together in a pre-arranged spot
  • Making an excuse to get Mom out of the home (such as going outdoors and faking an injury, so that she has to come out to help)
  • Keeping a cellular phone hidden somewhere indoors, or in a garage or shed, without the abuser’s knowledge, where the children know where to find it if they need to call for help
  • Planning phrases they can say to themselves or to each other to help them stay calm and get through the scary incident (such as, “We’re going to be okay.”)
  • Leaving home as soon as they see that Dad has been drinking, or observe other behaviors that they know are warning signs of a scary incident
  • Hiding weapons or other dangerous objects in the home so that Dad won’t be able to find them
  • Teaching children to call the hotline for abused women in cases where they feel the need for advice about what to do
  • Physically or verbally intervening to protect Mom (which can be very dangerous in some cases, so children should discuss the risks of this choice)

In some cases women discover that their children have already made agreements with each other involving these elements or similar ones, but hadn’t mentioned their plans to Mom because of feeling that the abuse was an issue they were not supposed to mention, or out of fear of making Mom feel embarrassed or ashamed.

I have heard a few professionals argue that safety planning with children of abused women is inappropriate, because it burdens them unduly with adult responsibility, reinforcing a dynamic that is already part of their experience. But in practice safety planning seems to make this burden less rather than increasing it; children already feel a profound desire, and a great need, to protect their mothers, as came across powerfully in Caroline McGee’s interviews. The only way to truly relieve that burden is to end or escape the abuse, which is far from easy to do, as I discussed in earlier chapters. In the mean time, most children are better off with some empowerment than without it.

If you have not made a safety plan for yourself, apart from any safety planning with your children, I would encourage you to do so first. You can look in Chapter 9 of Why Does He Do That? for an introduction to creating your own plan, but I encourage you if at all possible to work in conjunction with an advocate at a program for abused women. (And if you do not have time or transportation to get to the program, work with an advocate there by telephone).

Safety Planning for Unsupervised Visitation

As I discussed in Chapter 13, it is tragically common for family courts to require women to send their children on unsupervised visits with their abusive fathers, even in cases where there is an extensive and well-documented history of physical violence and/or sexual boundary violations on the part of the abuser.

Safety planning for unsupervised visitation can follow the points above, with the following additional considerations:

  • Have them think through the set-up at their father’s home, perhaps even drawing a diagram with you, to consider where they could get behind a locked door, get access to a telephone, or both.
  • Make sure they know your telephone number by heart.
  • Send them on visits with a photograph of you that they can look at for reassurance, a stuffed animal they can hold, or other objects that can help them get through times of feeling afraid, insecure, or lonely.
  • Let them know that they should make their own safety their top priority, even if it means they need to go along with their father on speaking badly about you or take other steps to placate him and keep him happy.
  • Prepare them for how best to deal with his efforts to pump them for information about you (which a large proportion of abusers do in unsupervised visitation). Let them know that they can tell him what he is asking for if they feel that their safety depends on doing so, but that it is important when they get back home for them to tell you what they told him. (For example, if he has found out from them where you work, or the fact that you are dating a new partner, it is important for you to be able to plan for his possible reactions.)
  • As above, discuss how the children might respond if they see signs that Dad has been drinking or see other danger signals, including what to do if he attempts to drive in the car with them while he is intoxicated.
  • If you are concerned about possible abduction by the abuser, rehearse with your children their full name, the town and state you live in, and how to call 911. Discuss strategies for passing written messages to other adults to indicate that they are being abducted, or to leave messages in public restroom (especially women’s rooms where the abuser is unlikely to go).

As with safety planning when the abuser still lives at home, try to discuss the children’s anxieties openly with them while simultaneously trying not to alarm them or intensify their fears. Remind them that when safety plans don’t work, they are in no way to blame.

If you are involved in court litigation with your ex-partner over custody or visitation, the fact that you talked to your children about safety planning could be used against you, as the abuser may claim that you have been inculcating fear into the children that wasn’t there previously. Because of this risk, you might want to try to arrange with a professional to work out the safety plans with your children, either a therapist or an advocate at a program for abused women. If these resources are not available to you, you might want to only safety plan with children in cases where you are confident that they will not mention the plan to the abuser. (As I discussed in Chapter 5, secret-keeping needs to be avoided as much as possible with children who are exposed to an abusive man; if you ask them not to tell their father about the safety planning, be sure to emphasize to them that in general it is inappropriate for adults to ask children to keep secrets, and that the only exception is in cases where certain secrets are necessary to keep them safe and the child doesn’t mind keeping the secret.)

One would certainly hope that unsupervised visits would be stopped by the court if children continued over time to feel unsafe during them, but in practice children’s continued anxieties are often blamed on the mother, so long-term coping strategies can be necessary. These might include finding ways to secretly call Mom on the phone to talk, writing in journals to help keep their own sanity, tuning out their fears or loneliness by watching a lot of movies at Dad’s house (though heavy video exposure creates problems of its own, as I discussed earlier), and other approaches to psychological survival that you and your child might brainstorm together.

Protective Mothers Alliance International supports Katie Holmes

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See on Scoop.itThe War Against Mothers

Just our thoughts on the Katie Holmes/ Tom Cruise custody and divorce;
Married Moms in controlling and abusive relationships who want out while protecting their children, need to closely examine Katie’s strategy. Clearly with 223 children per day sent to live with their abuser parent by family court in the U.S, we cannot rely on our ” justice system” to act in the best interest of our children. Being smart about it and using knowledge of important info along with proof may ” convince” the controlling spouse to act in the child’s best interest. Never underestimate the power of planning in a smart yet peaceful way. Katie; good moms who unknowingly believed that truth would prevail in family court, and who had their hearts broken, family’s destroyed, and lives altered forever, stand together cheering you on. We feel immense joy knowing you and your daughter are now safe from control and DV by proxy forever. You are now both free. Free to enjoy life, free from oppression and control, and free to love each other with your God -given mother and child bond intact.

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