Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
This blog is written by a survivor of domestic abuse. Her identity has been withheld to protect her and her children
That first day in the family courts was one of the worst of my life. I was standing in the courtroom, a stern-looking district judge on high. And the man who’d repeatedly raped me, assaulted me, threatened my life and our children’s lives, standing just a few feet away. No protection measures in place – nothing.
The judge ordered us to sit, and for nine hours I was subjected to his barrister accusing me of being a vindictive, hysterical wife, alienating her poor ex-husband and poisoning her young children’s minds against their father. This set the stage for future court appearances – only this time, I would be cross-examined by my ex.
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Take Back Your Life; Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias
One important factor to keep in mind is that abuse does not have to be physical.In many cases it may be verbal or emotional. This seemingly less severe abuse often leads the victim to doubt her reaction because she is not being physically attacked and may not be able to explain the abuse to herself or others. Margaret Singer used to call ths the “gaslight effect”
Family cults are where the head of the family uses excessive persusion and control techniques to keep the family functioning as he sees fit…These small cults and cultic abusive relationships tend to be more intense on their effect on the individual member than the larger group cult for the simple reason that all the
attention-and abuse- is focused on one or several persons often with more damaging consequences. Also women are primarily the victims in these relationships…..Most people do not like to think of their family as a cult, and they will rationalize away inner suspicions or fend off criticisms or observations by relatives and friends.
One important factor to keep in mind is that abuse does not have to be physical.In many cases it may be verbal or emotional. This seemingly less severe abuse often leads the victim to doubt her reaction because she is not being physically attacked…
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Happy Easter and Passover to all Protective Mothers, Protected Children and Their Supporters. You Have PMA International’s Love and Support, Always.
This is for all the Protective Mothers with empty arms and hurting hearts who are missing their children every second of every day, but who are deeply hurting today – Easter and Passover. Know that no matter what, you ARE your children’s mother. No one -and certainly no court- can take away this God-given role in your children’s lives. Please know this in your heart. PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children now and forever.
” We shall Overcome”
Being the mother of a sexually assaulted child was not some thing I had ever planned for. I felt so alone and out of my depth every day with her. The issues I had anticipated were not issues at all and so many more came into play which I had not thought of. How was I going to cope, I had no friends who had ever been through this, no special groups to join ,no daily advice. All I could do was research and try different strategies and speak to my psychologist and hers. I had never felt so out of control ,and treading water in the deep as I did now. So many aspects of her demeanor and personality had shifted and felt I didn’t even know my own daughter any more, or how the hell to help her. When I wasn’t emotion coaching her through a major tantrum…
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