Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

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Happy Mothers’ Day Hero Protective Moms

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The Success of Love BY ADRIENNE

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Protective Mothers' Alliance International

Read this powerful story about DV by Proxy in a mom’s own words. Notice the progression and circumstances in which this hateful smear campaign against a loving mom thrives.. Twisting up a child’s mind and teaching them to hate a loving parent by using lies and manipulation is child abuse.

The Success of Love
BY ADRIENNE, ON JUNE 11TH, 2012
The success of love is in the loving. —Mother Teresa

A few days ago I read the first post I ever wrote about my two eldest children, Jacob and Abbie, and how they came to live full-time with their dad. I sat at my computer, eyes goggling half-out of my head, unable to believe I had accomplished the mental-gymnastics necessary to believe what I wrote.

Better?

Better?!?

Like hell it was better, but I definitely believed it at the time, at least at the top of my consciousness. I…

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

March 20, 2018 at 11:27 am

Posted in Uncategorized

You Made Me A Mother/ Poetry and Picture Quote/ Love Letters To Our Children

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_Pea-Love-Letters-quote-I-was-a-pea,-motherhood

I felt you. You were a pea. Then a lemon. Then an eggplant. I followed advice. I read twelve books. I quite coffee. Could you tell I was scared?

I talked to you, sang to you… I wasn’t ready.

But then you were here. Ten toes. Seven pounds.

Love. Big Fat love.

I held you. I fed you. I realized that I would spend my life doing things to make you happy- and that would make me happy.

And then there are the times I want to give up.

You’ve made me rethink my sanity. You’ve made me want to fall at my mother’s feet and tell her that I get it. But then you smile and you say my name….and you grab my hand with those little fingers.

We’re growing together.

We are seeing the world like it’s new. I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you.

You’ll giggle and I’ll do it all over again. And we will walk hand in hand until you let go. I made you, but you made me a mother.

 

– Unknown

Beyond Bias; Tips For Protective Mothers

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PMA International has previously posted links and articles about developing critical thinking skills. Critical thinking is especially helpful in healing from the damaging effects of abuse, as it can help you to identify the controlling and deceitful tactics of the abuser so you can begin to heal, and re-establish your identity free of violence. Taught to children, critical thinking contributes to healthy self-esteem and the ability to think independently Critical thinking skills may also be a buffer against DV By Proxy. PMA INTL will go further down this path by discussing BIAS.

Identifying and dealing with bias involves the use of critical thinking skills; this article will reveal the different types of bias and discuss how bias affects a person’s ability to see the world as it really is. Some bias is a normal part of life, to some degree everyone has bias; but left unchecked bias can damage the ability to think rationally, and damage the ability to develop healthy relationships with others. For traumatized protective mothers recognizing personal bias and using critical thinking skills, may help protect against re- victimization and manipulations from any source. This article will offer tips on how to prevent bias from becoming an unhealthy influence, again using critical thinking as a powerful tool for self empowerment.

http://www.criticalthinking.org/

Bias is defined as prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.

Nowhere is it more crucial for information to be precise than in the intelligence community. In this arena it is a matter of life , death and global peace to be certain that information received is exact and not viewed from the lens of biased eyes. Yet, there have always been problems associated with the accurate analysis of information within the intelligence community. These problems always occur because the human mind is easily influenced by many factors in the environment. In the case of the Cold War, these factors contributed to problems and failures in intelligence. Biases and perceptions can lead to a misconstrued view of reality and the way we process information. http://smallwarsjournal.com/jrnl/art/bias-and-perception-how-it-affects-our-judgment-in-decision-making-and-analysis

What is Psychological Bias?

Psychologists Daniel Kahneman, Paul Slovic, and Amos Tversky introduced the concept of psychological bias in the early 1970s. They published their findings in their 1982 book, “Judgment Under Uncertainty.”

They discovered that psychological bias – also known as cognitive bias – is the inclination to make decisions or take action in a less than logical way.

Common Psychological Biases

Below, are five psychological biases that are common in decision making. Along with suggestions on how to overcome them

1. Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is looking for information that supports your existing beliefs, and rejecting information that go against your beliefs. A 2013 study found that confirmation bias can affect the way that people view statistics. This can lead you to make biased decisions, since all relevant information is not factored in to your decision.

How to Avoid Confirmation Bias

1. Seek out information from a range of sources, to challenge what you think and learn more about a subject.

2. Use an approach such as the ‘Six Thinking Hats” technique to consider situations from various perspectives. http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_07.htm

3. Discuss your thoughts with others. You may consider joining a club, attending community ed or attending an open mic or jam session as way to participate in or hear lively discussions.

4. Surround yourself with a diverse group of people. You may consider going to community or religious celebrations different than your own, visiting museums/historical sites or volunteering in your community to be exposed to new experiences.

5.Listen to opposing views. This could be as simple as listening to a radio station you have never heard before, or taking the time to talk with a rebellious teenager (kidding).

6.Seek out people and information that challenge your opinions, please use boundaries (especially if you have a history of abuse) to ensure the conversations remain respectful as well as enjoyable.

7.Assign someone you trust to give feedback for major decisions or decisions you struggle with.

2. Anchoring (“ first impression bias”)

This bias is the tendency to jump to conclusions before all the facts are gathered.

How to Avoid Anchoring

Anchoring may happen if you have a tendency to act hastily or are under pressure to make a decision.

NOTE: This is different from the triggers victims of abuse commonly experience; triggers are reactions to past trauma that cause a chemical reaction in the body, causing a person to relive the or experience flashbacks of trauma. A person reacting to a trigger is not biased, though they do experience intense pressure or anxiety it is related to something that has caused them to re-experience or remember a painful event. This is NOT a bias.

1.Reflect on your history, and think about times when you have a past history of rushing to judgment

2.Make decisions slowly, use relaxation or calming techniques if you need (deep breath, music, positive affirmations, etc.)

3. Ask for longer time for decision making. (If someone is pressing aggressively for a decision, this can be a sign that the thing they’re pushing for is against your best interests.)

3. Overconfidence Bias

Placing too much faith in your own knowledge. Believing that your contribution to a decision is more valuable than it actually is.

How to Avoid Overconfidence Bias

Consider the following questions:

1.What sources of information do you tend to rely on when you make decisions?

2 Are these fact-based, or do you rely on hunches?

3. Who else is involved in gathering information?

4.Has information been gathered systematically?

Consider what you can do to gather comprehensive, objective data, if you feel your information has been unreliable.

4. Gambler’s Fallacy

With the gambler’s fallacy, you expect past success to always influence the future

In fact, outcomes are highly uncertain. The number of successes that you’ve had previously has a small impact on the future.

How to Avoid Gambler’s Fallacy

1. Look at trends from a number of angles, especially those that challenge past events.

2. Look deep into data, research, studies.

5. Fundamental Attribution Error

Blaming others when things go wrong, instead of looking objectively at the situation. Blaming or judging someone based on a stereotype or a perceived personality flaw.

How to Avoid Fundamental Attribution Error

1.Look at situations, and the people involved in them, non-judgmentally.

2. Use empathy

3. Look at situations from a cultural perspective, if appropriate..

It’s hard to spot psychological bias in ourselves because it often comes from subconscious thinking.
For this reason, it can often be unwise to make major decisions on your own.
http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/avoiding-psychological-bias.htm

 

Protective Mothers' Alliance International

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PMA has previously posted links and articles about developing critical thinking skills. Critical thinking is especially helpful in healing from the damaging effects of abuse, as it can help you to identify the controlling and deceitful tactics of the abuser so you can begin to heal, and re-establish your identity free of violence. Taught to children, critical thinking contributes to healthy self-esteem and the ability to think independently Critical thinking skills may also be a buffer against DV By Proxy. PMA INTL will go further down this path by discussing BIAS.

Identifying and dealing with bias involves the use of critical thinking skills; this article will reveal the different types of bias and discuss how bias affects a person’s ability to see the world as it really is. Some bias is a normal part of life, to some degree everyone has bias; but left unchecked bias can damage the ability…

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

March 20, 2018 at 6:38 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Terrified of Court, Waited 18 Years To Leave ( Image and Quote) /Unstoppable Mothers

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UM-waited-18-years-to-leave
http://www.unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com
#unstoppablemothers #pmainternational #abuse#cps #corruption #outrageousjudges

#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

” My X was substantiated by CPS for sexually assaulting at least 2 of my girls. The judge

ordered the girls to go to counseling with him. I waited 18 years to leave him because I was terrified the courts would side with him.”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2018

 

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Merry Christmas to The Quintessential Hero- The Protective Mother

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Of all the rights of woman, the greatest is to be a mother― Lin Yutang

As we once again face the holidays, many protective mothers are without their precious children. The pain of having to live a life under these circumstances is unbearable.

We know because we also live it.

In times like this our grief and loss is felt three fold. Once for ourselves, once for our children and once for all the other protective mothers and children who one day found themselves in a nightmarish club of mothers in which they never wanted a membership- the Protective Mother.

In times like this we wish we could reach through our computers and give you a big warm nurturing hug. We wish we had a magic wand to wave and bring your children back. We wish we could erase the memory of the trauma and pain for both you and your children, heal you and make you whole and happy again.

If we could speak to your estranged child we would let them know how very special their mother is.

How she fought for you when she had nothing left in her to fight. How she spent years, and in some cases, decades putting her life on hold sacrificing her happiness, health and finances just to protect you from control, and abuse while keeping you safe in her arms.

Day after day dealing with attorneys, who betrayed and demeaned her, while quickly and greedily devouring her finances. Appearing in court before Judges who bullied and controlled her. Attending endless meetings with Evaluators, Therapists and Guardian Ad Litems who make her jump through impossible, and inhumane high hoops that your other parent was not forced to jump through.

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Did she jump? Oh yes. Over and over and over again your protective mother twisted herself up, denied her pain , took the torture and abuse with a quiet smile on her face and a small exasperated sigh.

Lied on repeatedly , humiliated and abused your mother soldiered on, just for you- for the unstoppable, unconditional love your protective mother has for you runs deeper than anything you can ever imagine.

Isn’t this what heroes do? Heroes absorb the pain take the abuse and live the sacrifice, for the greater good. In this case , the greater good was protecting you.

We would tell these children that their mother is not just any mother, she is not just a single mother. Your mother is all that, yet so much more. Your Protective Mother is a beautiful light in this dark world, she is a warrior for truth and justice, she is an angel of love.

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Yes, the greatest right for a woman is to be a mother, but for women who had this right unjustly stripped from them due to corruption, misogyny, ignorance, and greed, they had to claw , dig and sustain the deepest of wounds that may never heal from their nobel fight.Your Protective Mother was fueled by the fire of her deep love for you burning in her heart and soul. Your Protective Mother attempted to regain this right so both of you can be happy together, loving each other in peace and free from all forms of control and abuse. Your Protective Mother is not just any mother, she is a super mother -the quintessential hero.

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For all the Protective Mothers this Holiday who are without their precious children, PMA International wants you to know- you have our love, respect, support and understanding – always. Here’s to a better New Year.
The PMA International Team

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

December 19, 2017 at 6:10 pm

Experiencing the Holidays in a Hero Protective Mother’s World

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As the Holiday season is upon us, many Hero Protective Mothers will be without their precious children. This is a very difficult time of year.
For some Hero Protective Moms, they will have no contact at all with their child(ren). Some moms will drop off presents not knowing if they will be received. Other moms won’t even know what to buy for their beloved child (ren) as they have had so little or no contact that the mom doesn’t even know what presents their own child would like. What music is their child into? What size does their child now wear? What are their favorite colors, books, or toys?

All the beautiful loving traditions once shared cannot be shared anymore; sitting on Santa’s lap, decorating the tree, making x mas cookies for Santa or having that special Hanukkah dinner filled with tradition and symbolism.

What we are feeling, the loss and pain, few can understand . Unless you have been in our shoes- a Hero Protective Mother, you cannot begin to know the depth of the heartache and raw pain that reaches right down to our very souls.

We are their mothers. We grew these babies within us. This fact alone bonds us with them, and they with us like no other bond . We are bonded together beyond time, space, judges, laws, and certainly beyond family court.

The mother-child bond is the strongest there is. Although many may try , it cannot be broken as it is God- given.

Hero Protective Mothers as you go through the Holidays without you precious babies, with empty arms and hurting hearts , this is what we want you to hold onto.

No matter how it looks now, you are bonded to your child. Your heart is their heart. Your souls connect. You are an essential part of each other that cannot be denied.This is a fact. Because of this fact, you cannot be separated forever.

Only evil would try to break this God- given unbreakable bond.

We believe we can overcome this evil. WE will overcome this evil through our unconditional love for our children-the strongest love ever to exist, and one day we will celebrate the holidays as a family once again.

Take care of yourselves Hero Moms,through this difficult time, for one day- we are certain- our child(ren) will understand all our sacrifices, pain and hurt. We believe one day, our children will learn the truth and return home, to our loving arms, where they belong.

Our children will return home to our loving arms, and history will reveal us for the Hero Protective Mothers we truly are.

Until then , know you and your precious children have PMA International’s love , support and understanding, always.

Much Love,
The PMA International Team

 

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

December 19, 2017 at 5:46 pm

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