Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

Posts Tagged ‘divorce

Mental Emotional Abuse When Your Partner’s Judgments Are Your Defects/by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

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http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/articles/judgments_defects_339.php

Have you ever noticed how your partner’s judgments about you say more about him than they do about you? Yet, he/she stands behind these judgments as though they are a certified list of your defects.

“You are a lousy housekeeper, because you don’t fold the laundry ‘correctly’,” he/she declares. “You’re a pig because of the way you keep your car (or better yet, don’t keep up your car),” your partner insists. Or, how about this one: “You are a spoiled brat because you have the safety net of your family’s wealth,” he/she whines.

Now as an outsider looking in, at first glance, you could think your partner is actually talking about you. And even in your reality, their observations could be accurate. But, these so-called defects of yours that they relentlessly points out are as much about them as you think they are about you.

Our Judgments Are Our Projections

From classical to pop psychology we know that reality is perception. You can only see that which already exists within you. And when it doesn’t, it does not register.

I’m reminded of a story Deepak Chopra used to tell about kittens raised in laboratory rooms with walls painted in horizontal lines. And then once chairs were placed in the room, the cats walked right into them because they didn’t see the vertical legs on the chairs.

Vertical lines had not been imprinted in their neuro-sensory bank as had the horizontal lines during their formative development. Consequently, later in life, they simply did not register…they went unnoticed as though they didn’t exist.

Whose Problem Are His Judgments, Anyway?

When your partner badgers you with “your defects,” be mindful that these are merely his judgments. And more importantly, his sharing these judgments say more about him than they say about you.

So, pick up your head, take your tail out from between you legs and be mindful that he is talking about his preferences…his opinions…his experience. You don’t have to own his commentary unless you chose to do so.

You always have the option of looking out before looking in. It is for this reason that some individuals will tell you that mental abuse is in the eyes of the beholder. Now don’t get me wrong, this in no way suggests that derogatory comments about you do not hurt and aren’t delivered to mess with the way you feel and think about yourself. Rather, I’m reminding you that you have a choice in how you take it in. You can see it as having as much if not more to do with the bully than the bullied.

This shift in your thinking over time can help you restore your dignity in the face of mental emotional abuse. It can give you the inner strength to deal with emotional verbal abuse in ways that support you rather than destroy you.

For more insights on help with mental emotional abuse visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/emotional_verbal_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

This series of eInsights is presented to you by Partners in Prevention, a nonprofit organization. If you find this eInsight article useful, we invite you to contribute to the maintenance and growth of the Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. To make a tax-deductible donation, please visit http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org

Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

September 21, 2015 at 8:20 pm

13 year old reunited with mother after being imprisoned by father

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Florida boy, 13, is reunited with his mother after being found imprisoned behind a false wall in his father’s Georgia home after going missing FOUR YEARS ago Boy, 13, from Florida, reported missing to child welfare authorities in 2010 He had gone to father’s house in Georgia and he ‘refused to give him back’ He downloaded cellphone app and text mother saying he was being beaten Police arrived at scene and found teen hidden behind wall in a linen closet Five people – victim’s father, stepmother and three juveniles, were arrested They are charged with false imprisonment, obstruction and cruelty to child On Saturday morning, boy was reunited with mother in emotional scenes.

The unnamed teenager reportedly downloaded a cellphone app to text his Florida-based mother to tell her he was being held captive and beaten at the house in Clayton County, Georgia.

Police arrived at the scene and found the boy hidden behind a false panel in a linen closet in the property’s garage. He repeatedly thanked officers for rescuing him, according to reports.

In heart-wrenching scenes on Saturday morning, the victim was pictured clinging on to his weeping mother, who had traveled to Georgia, as another female relative sobbed uncontrollably nearby.

Now, five people in the house in Duke Court – the boy’s father, stepmother and three juveniles – have been arrested and charged with false imprisonment, obstruction and cruelty to a child.

The boy was reported missing to child welfare authorities in 2010 after he went to visit his father and he refused to return him to his mother, according to WSB-TV.

However, his mother never contacted the police, potentially because she is an immigrant and was unfamiliar with the system, it is said. But after receiving her son’s text, she immediately called 911.

Following her call, officers arrived at the property at 2am on Saturday. They reportedly questioned the house’s uncooperative occupants for several minutes before locating the victim.

It is unknown what condition the teenager was discovered in, or whether he was taken to hospital.

Sargent Joanne Southerland, of Clayton County Police Department, told the news station: ‘We came here to the home and were able to get inside and talk to the people inside.

‘After several minutes of denying that the child was here and that there was ever any assault or anything like that, we were able to find him in the linen closet.’

Officer Daniel Day added: ‘I just couldn’t believe it. We found him, we saw him. To say it was a great feeling is an understatement. He just couldn’t thank us enough, he was overjoyed we had found him.’

Police have now requested a search warrant for the property. A spokesman said they still have a lot of unanswered questions, including how the boy was imprisoned for so long without intervention.

The boy, whose legal custody is believed to lie with his mother, is expected to remain under the protection of the Division of Family and Children Services for the next couple of days.

Anxiety in Children: Don’t Look the Other Way / Huff Post Parents

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“I have tried to dismiss the anxious behavior by telling myself that my children have not experienced the trauma that I experienced. They have not been physically, sexually or emotionally abused like I was. They have had a great childhood compared to my experiences” ~Elisabeth Corey

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elisabeth-corey/anxiety-in-children-dont-_b_8027388.html

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

August 26, 2015 at 12:59 pm

Family Court Kills Families ( Photography and Quote) / Unstoppable Mothers

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UMpromo-Grave-yard-entrance_edited-1

“Temporary” Custody ( Photography and Quote) / Unstoppable Mothers

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_#2Temporary-Placement_edited-1

#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

“The Judge gave my children’s father temporary custody after I have been the primary placement parent since birth. This “ temporary” custody is two years and counting. My ex was arrested for battery and convicted of DV. All this is perfectly acceptable to this Judge. .. Why?”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2015

Disclaimer

Disclaimer

Excellent Hollywood Dramatization of DV by Proxy ( Alienation )

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Joe R. Barrow has created one of the best dramatizations explaining Parental Alienation Syndrome, this adapted from a Hollywood production. START VIEWING AT BEGINNING

https://leslinetmd.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/portrait-of-a-monster-parental-alienation-syndrome/
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Disclaimer:

As PMA International has posted before, we prefer the term DV by Proxy to explain the manipulations an abuser parent uses to teach the child to reject the protective parent. We prefer this term because;
1. In our opinion ,it more accurately depicts the actions taken by the abuser parent towards the child
2 There has been a lot of misinformation about parental alienation circulating the internet and beyond.

3.The term parental alienation and /or parental alienation syndrome has been use as a legal defense for abusive dads in family court. Most often this term has been used by the attorneys of dads who sexual abuse their children. This legal defense is used – most often- by attorneys in family court , for the purpose of deflecting blame from the criminal actions of their client onto the protective mother.

4 The result of the above has frequently been, abusers winning custody due to this misuse of the term. 
Because the term is so emotionally charged for protective mothers, and for all the reasons above, we feel DV by Proxy is a better choice. Please keep in mind others still use the term Parental Alienation. Since PMA International did not author this piece, the term parental alienation or alienation may be used.

Treatment of Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”/ Dr. Craig A. Childress – Filmed at the California Southern University School of Behavioral Sciences.

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