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Posts Tagged ‘domestic violence victims

30 Shocking Domestic Violence Statistics That Remind Us It’s An Epidemic/ HuffPost

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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during the war.

Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men. Too many women have been held captive by domestic violence — whether through physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse or a combination of all three.

We are inundated with news stories about domestic violence, from athletes beating their significant others in public elevators or in their own homes to celebrities publicly abusing their girlfriends. This problem is not one that will go away quickly or quietly.

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to an end, discussions about intimate partner abuse and its horrible repercussions should not. In an attempt to illustrate the gravity of abuse all genders (but largely women) face in the U.S., we rounded up 30 statistics on domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not a singular incident, it’s an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture — and these numbers prove that.

3

The number of women murdered every day by a current or former male partner in the U.S.

38,028,000

The number of women who have experienced physical intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

4,774,000

The number of women in the U.S. who experience physical violence by an intimate partner every year.

1,509

The number of women murdered by men they knew in 2011. Of the 1,509 women, 926 were killed by an intimate partner and 264 of those were killed by an intimate partner during an argument.

18,000

The number of women who have been killed by men in domestic violence disputes since 2003.

1 in 4

The number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

1 in 7

The number of men who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

8,000,000

The number of days of paid work women lose every year because of the abuse perpetrated against them by current or former male partners. This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs.

40-45

The percentage of women in physically abusive relationships who are raped and/or assaulted during the relationship.

18,500,000

The number of mental health care visits due to intimate partner violence every year.

$948

The average cost of emergency care for intimate partner violence-related incidents for women. The average cost for men is $387.

2 in 5

The number of gay or bisexual men who will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

50

The percentage of lesbian women who will experience domestic violence (not necessarily intimate partner violence) in their lifetimes.

81

The percentage of women who are stalked by a current or former male partner who are also physically abused by that partner.

70

The percentage of women worldwide who will experience physical and/or sexual abuse by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.

98

The percentage of financial abuse that occurs in all domestic violence cases. The number one reason domestic violence survivors stay or return to the abusive relationship is because the abuser controls their money supply, leaving them with no financial resources to break free.

$5,800,000,000

The estimated cost of incidents of intimate partner violence perpetrated against women in the U.S. in 1995 alone.

21

The number of LGBT people murdered by their intimate partners in 2013. Fifty percent of them were people of color. This is the highest documented level of domestic violence homicide in the LGBT community in history.

2.6x

The amount of times more likely a transgender person of color is to become a victim of intimate partner violence than a non-LGBT person.

70x

The amount of times more likely a woman is to be murdered in the few weeks after leaving her abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship.

10,000,000

The number of children exposed to domestic violence every year.

25

The percentage of physical assaults perpetrated against women that are reported to the police annually.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website

SEE IT: Florida judge berates domestic abuse victim, sentences sobbing woman to jail: ‘You haven’t even seen anxiety’/Daily News

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A Florida county judge berated a domestic violence victim for failing to appear at her alleged abuser’s trial and then sentenced the sobbing woman to jail, courtroom video shows.

Seminole County Judge Jerri Collins was captured heartlessly rebuking the pleading woman as she desperately apologizes and says her depression and anxiety kept her from facing her abuser in court.

“You think you’re going to have anxiety now? You haven’t even seen anxiety,” Collins says before issuing her decision.

The victim had to appear before the judge on July 30 for contempt of court hearing, WFTV-9 reported.

She had ignored a subpoena to testify against the father of her child who allegedly choked her and threatened her with a kitchen knife, the local news station said.

“Your honor, I’m very sorry for not attending the last one,” she said through tears. “I’ve been dealing with depression and just a lot personally since this happened. My anxiety is like, this is every day for me.”

The unmoved Collins tells the woman she was required to appear under court order.

“You disobeyed a court order, knowing that this was not going to turn out well for the state,” Collins said.

The woman apologizes again, telling the judge she’s homeless and “not in a good place right now.”

“And violating your court order did not do anything for you,” Collins said. “I find you in contempt of court. I hereby sentence you to three days in the county jail.”

The rattled woman can be seen dramatically making one last final plea to the judge as she’s being hauled away.

“Judge, I’ll do anything … I have a 1-year-old son, and I’m trying to take care of him by myself. I’m begging you, please, please don’t,” she said.

“Turn around,” the judge responds. “You should have showed up. I’ve already issued my order.”

Collins, who was reportedly appointed to the position by former Governor Jeb Bush, has held her seat since 2005.

She was re-elected to the court last year for another six-year term.

Neither Collins nor her office returned a request for comment Thursday.

The ruthless ruling was unnecessary and damaging, according to a former prosecutor who now advocates for domestic abuse victims.

“It was pretty brutal. It got to my heart,” Safehouse of Seminole CEO Jeanne Gold told the Daily News. “I thought she will never ever call the police again. She’ll never look for help again. It’s so sad.”

The victim’s alleged abuser was sentenced to 16 days in jail for simple battery and was ordered to pay court costs, WFTV-9 reported.

During her bid for re-election last year, Collins told The Orlando Political Observer she should be voted back into office because she makes a “positive impact on the citizens and the litigants that come before the court.”

“Every litigant deserves an experienced, knowledgeable individual presiding over their case,” she said at the time. “I’ve enjoyed my role as a judge. I enjoy the law. Most importantly, I enjoy serving my community.”

mchan@nydailynews.com

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/judge-berates-domestic-abuse-victim-sentences-jail-article-1.2389943?

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

October 8, 2015 at 11:01 pm

When the Narcissist Becomes Dangerous/Psych Central

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http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2014/12/when-the-narcissist-becomes-dangerous/

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Recently at a dinner party, talk turned to the current news story about Bill Cosby. As the only psychologist at the table, everyone looked at me as one person asked with intense curiosity, “How could anyone victimize women all those years, and still live with himself? How could you sleep at night?”

Since I don’t know Bill Cosby, I can’t speak for him; nor do I know if he is guilty of the accusations against him or not. But generally, in an actual situation like this, there is an answer to the question. The answer is one word: narcissism.

In many ways, it seems like it would be fun to be narcissistic. Wouldn’t it be great to go through life feeling superior to other people, and with unwavering self-confidence? Yes!

But as we all know, there is a dark side to narcissism. That unwavering self-confidence is as brittle as an eggshell. Narcissists don’t move back and forth on a continuum of self-esteem as the rest of us do. Instead, they run on full-tilt until something taps that protective shell of self-importance hard enough. Then, they fall into a million pieces. Under that fragile, brittle cover lies a hidden pool of insecurity and pain. Deep down, the narcissist’s deepest and most powerful fear is that he is a nothing.

With his brash, self-centered ways, the narcissist can hurt the people around him emotionally, and often. His deepest fear is of being exposed as “a nothing.” So he will protect his own fragile shell above all else, even if it sometimes emotionally harms the people he loves the most.

Why is the narcissist in such fear of being a nothing? Because she was raised by parents who responded to her on a superficial level, lauding or even worshiping certain aspects of her which they valued, while completely ignoring or actively invalidating her true self, including her emotions. So most narcissists grew up essentially over-valued on one level, and ignored and invalidated on another (Childhood Emotional Neglect – CEN). CEN on its own does not cause narcissism, but combined with other essential ingredients, it plays a part.

Some narcissists need to do more than just protect their shell. Their need to be special is so great that they also need to feed it with accolades, acknowledgment, or their own personal version of specialness.

This is when narcissism becomes dangerous.

There are four characteristics of the narcissist which can work together to make him a danger. They are:

The need to protect his inflated sense of self can make him desperate.
The need to feed his sense of specialness can drive him to violate others’ boundaries.
Lack of empathy for others can make him incapable of seeing when he hurts others.
His belief that he is special can make it easy for him to rationalize his actions.

Most narcissists do not pose any real danger to the people around them (except perhaps emotionally). The risk comes from #2. What’s his Special Ingredient? What does the narcissist need to feed his specialness?

Does he need to have a “special relationship” with young boys, like Jerry Sandusky (severe boundary violations)? Does he need to be seen as a mentor to Olympic wrestlers like John DuPont, as portrayed in The Foxcatcher (exploitation)?

What does the narcissist need to feed his specialness, to what lengths will he go to get it, and is his specialness extreme enough to enable him to rationalize his behavior? Those are the factors which determine a narcissistic person’s potential dangerousness.

Jerry Sandusky said that he felt his special relationship with boys was helpful to the boys. John DuPont appeared to rationalize that his money and privilege would make his minions better wrestlers.

If you have a narcissist in your life: a parent, sibling, friend, spouse, or ex, it is possible to manage the relationship in a healthy way. Your best approach is to walk a figurative tightrope. Have empathy for the pool of pain that lies beneath the surface of your narcissist’s blustery shell. Understand that he or she is protecting herself from the hurt that she experienced in childhood. But at the same time, it is vital to protect yourself as well. Keep your boundaries intact.

Do not let your compassion make you vulnerable.

To learn more about the effects of emotional invalidation in childhood, see EmotionalNeglect.com;or the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect.

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