Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

Posts Tagged ‘Emotional abuse

Take Back Your Life; Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships / Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias

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Family cults are where the head of the family uses excessive persusion and control techniques to keep the family functioning as he sees fit…These small cults and cultic abusive relationships tend to be more intense on their effect on the individual member than the larger group cult for the simple reason that all the

attention-and abuse- is focused on one or several persons often with more damaging consequences. Also women are primarily the victims in these relationships…..Most people do not like to think of their family as a cult, and they will rationalize away inner suspicions or fend off criticisms or observations by relatives and friends.

One important factor to keep in mind is that abuse does not have to be physical.In many cases it may be verbal or emotional. This seemingly less severe abuse often leads the victim to doubt her reaction because she is not being physically attacked and may not be able to explain the abuse to herself or others. Margaret Singer used to call ths the “gaslight effect”

..An abused partner must submit to the following abuses and/or behaviors:

Early verbal, physical and/or sexual dominance

Fear arousal and maintenance

Guilt induction

Contingent expressions of “love”

Enforced loyalty to the agressor

Promotion of powerlessness and helplessness

Pathological expressions of jealousy

Hope instilling behaviors

isolation/imprisonment

Required secrecy

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

July 19, 2018 at 8:52 pm

Missing 4 Years: Kidnapped Boy Hidden Behind Wall, Rescued & Returned to Mother

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December 2014, Orlando, Florida:  13 year Gregory Jean Jr. is returned to his mother after being kidnapped, and hidden behind a fake wall. He was missing for 4 agonizing years. 

Father, Gregory Jean Sr. and step-mother, Samantha Davis are accused of kidnapping Gregory Jean Jr. from his mother, who had custody, when he went to visit them near Atlanta.

Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis. (Source: American Urban Radio Networks, http://www.aurn.com1)

Gregory Jean Jr. was abused and hidden behind a fake wall. He was given a cell phone to contact friends, and only allowed to talk to his mother after being coached on what to say. Jean Jr. then gained the courage to use that phone to contact his mother, and alert police to rescue him.

Gregory Jean Sr. and Samantha Joy Davis  face charges of child cruelty, false imprisonment and obstruction.

Read More: 

Boy Hidden Behind Fake Wall in Dad’s House by AURN Newsroom

Boy found hidden behind fake wall and his mother speak to CBS46 by Daniel Wilkerson and Rodney Harris

Boy Hidden in Garage of Georgia Home Recounts Rescue: ‘They Didn’t Give Up’ by NBC News

Experiencing the Holidays in a Hero Protective Mother’s World

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As the Holiday season is upon us, many Hero Protective Mothers will be without their precious children. This is a very difficult time of year.
For some Hero Protective Moms, they will have no contact at all with their child(ren). Some moms will drop off presents not knowing if they will be received. Other moms won’t even know what to buy for their beloved child (ren) as they have had so little or no contact that the mom doesn’t even know what presents their own child would like. What music is their child into? What size does their child now wear? What are their favorite colors, books, or toys?

All the beautiful loving traditions once shared cannot be shared anymore; sitting on Santa’s lap, decorating the tree, making x mas cookies for Santa or having that special Hanukkah dinner filled with tradition and symbolism.

What we are feeling, the loss and pain, few can understand . Unless you have been in our shoes- a Hero Protective Mother, you cannot begin to know the depth of the heartache and raw pain that reaches right down to our very souls.

We are their mothers. We grew these babies within us. This fact alone bonds us with them, and they with us like no other bond . We are bonded together beyond time, space, judges, laws, and certainly beyond family court.

The mother-child bond is the strongest there is. Although many may try , it cannot be broken as it is God- given.

Hero Protective Mothers as you go through the Holidays without you precious babies, with empty arms and hurting hearts , this is what we want you to hold onto.

No matter how it looks now, you are bonded to your child. Your heart is their heart. Your souls connect. You are an essential part of each other that cannot be denied.This is a fact. Because of this fact, you cannot be separated forever.

Only evil would try to break this God- given unbreakable bond.

We believe we can overcome this evil. WE will overcome this evil through our unconditional love for our children-the strongest love ever to exist, and one day we will celebrate the holidays as a family once again.

Take care of yourselves Hero Moms,through this difficult time, for one day- we are certain- our child(ren) will understand all our sacrifices, pain and hurt. We believe one day, our children will learn the truth and return home, to our loving arms, where they belong.

Our children will return home to our loving arms, and history will reveal us for the Hero Protective Mothers we truly are.

Until then , know you and your precious children have PMA International’s love , support and understanding, always.

Much Love,
The PMA International Team

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I Only Wanted To Be A Mom ( Photography and Quote) / Unstoppable Mothers

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https://unstoppablemothers.wordpress.com

Welcome to PMA International’s ” Unstoppable Mothers”

Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) has launched “Unstoppable Mothers”, a powerful photo and essay project to give voice to Protective Mothers and their Children.

The photos ( taken by PMA International Protective Mother Heroes) depict the loss and grief a Protective Mother experiences when she is forcibly separated from her child(ren) due to family court injustice, or the events she missed in the life of her child.

The essays, in Protective Mothers’ own words, are common real life family court situations. Protective Mothers reveal the most outrageous action a judge took in their case. OR, the Protective Mom shares what hurts her the most about not being in her child’s life.

“We are Unstoppable Protective Mothers, whose children have been ripped from our arms and lives. We are joining our voices as one, to share our stories about family court abuse and corruption. Each heartbreaking tragic story, capturing loss and abuse, is told in our own words and accompanied by stunning photographs based on mother/child milestones missed in our lives. Because of the strong unconditional love we have for our children, we will NOT be stopped…we are UNSTOPPABLE!”

Now that we all understand how to participate and what the ground rules are for this campaign, Protective Mothers’ Alliance International invites you to join us in our journey; a window to our world. We ask you to brace yourselves, step slowly into our shoes, carefully take a step , steal a tiny glimpse , and taste a tiny bite of what life is like as a protective mother. An unstoppable protective mother, enduring one of the darkest atrocities known in the history of our civilization.

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#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

” The judge gave custody of my babies to a man who threw me down the stairs and choked me. This is the destruction of love and family. I only wanted to be a mom, that is all I thought I could do and all I ever wanted. It was taken from me and here I am still alive, alone and my children alienated from me by my abuser. How is this possible? We need to protect women and their children.”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2015

U.M Disclaimer

Signs and Traits of Narcissists, Crazymakers, Emotional Manipulators, Unsafe People/ Think Like A Black Belt

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http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/blog/signs-and-traits-of-emotional-predators/

Do you know the tell-tale traits of narcissists, crazy makers, emotional manipulators, controlling predators, and other unsafe people?

Well now you can! Here is my ULTIMATE, BEST, MOST COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF TRAITS OF NARCISSISTS (and other unsafe people like them):

SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT
Narcissists easily shift blame

✦ A sense of superiority places them above others
✦ Must be the center of attention, constantly seeking approval, acknowledgment, kudos, accolades, praise
✦ Act like they are the lead character in all things in life
✦ Dominate conversations because they believe they have the only worthwhile things to say
✦ Want others to give into their demands, request for favors, and put their needs first
✦ Have inflated egos, inflated sense of entitlement, inflated sense of importance, inflated need to be center stage
✦ Envious of other people’s accomplishments and will steal, lie, or sabotage others to get attention back to them
✦ Envious of other people’s possessions, they will put such ownership down or minimize it to make themselves look more noble
✦ Search for constant approval and praise to reinforce their false grandiose sense of self, they’re “on- stage,” dominating the conversation, often exaggerating their importance
✦ (Since the self is so fragile — an ever crumbling construction of their ego) — use power, money, status, looks, supposed past glories (or supposed future glories) to boost their image
✦ See criticism as baseless attacks or betrayal and countered with cold-shoulder anger or rage or chilly stares or verbal attack.
✦ Can never accept blame. Others are always to blame.
✦ Feel being center of attention is good, right, and proper
✦ Have a grandiose sense of self-importance
✦ Think they are special, God-touched, or privileged
✦ Think they can only be understood by other special or high-status people
✦ Have unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment
✦ Believe they are beyond the rules. Laws do not apply to them and remorse is only felt when someone catches and confronts them.

“However they are upset over any inconveniences they suffer as a result of being busted. They believe they have the right to do what ever it takes to get short term gratification without suffering any consequences.” ~Lynne Namka

TYPICAL WAYS OPERATING OR REACTIONS (blaming, drama storms, etc.)

✦ High maintenance because they need your attention, praise, and deference
✦ Fake sweetness, honor, and good intentions, but deprive them of something they want and look out as they reveal their true selves.
✦ Express grand, exciting plans, but rarely can make them happen
✦ Blame others rather than take personal responsibility
✦ Lack of empathy colors everything they do.
✦ May say, “How are you?” when you meet, but they are not interested
✦ Their blame-shifting creates defensiveness. Then they belittle the defensiveness: “Why are you so angry?”
✦ Since they shift blame so well & seamlessly, your guilt/insecurity issues stay raw and over-sensitive.
✦ Lend you a hand up, then subtlety cut off at the knees to keep you indebted & coming back.

Need some Narcissist Kryptonite?
The Narcissist — A User’s Guide

✦ If you point out an error they made, they go into defensive mode counter any such notion with anger, venting, rage, cold-shoulder, or withdraw
✦ Give you a metaphorical rug & then keep pulling it out from under you
✦ They are: blowhards, braggarts, blusterers, brow-beaters, bullies, big-headed, and ultimately bogus.
✦ Help you gain certain skills/info/connections, but then forever make you feel beholden to them.
✦ Extremely skilled at making anyone under their influence crave their approval.
✦ Make you feel special & then emotional distance themselves in ways that keep you unsure of yourself.
✦ Use a judgmental “you’re OK”/”you’re not OK” yo-yoing to keep you off-balance & “blameworthy.”
✦ Groom people via manipulation (charm/rage combo) to sell their reality/rationalizations to others.
✦ Virtually all of their ideas or ways of behaving in a given situation are taken from others, people they know and perhaps think of as an authority.
✦ Their sense of self-importance and lack of empathy means that they will often interrupt the conversations of others.
✦ Expect others to do mundane things, since they feel too important to do them
✦ Constantly use of “I”, “me,” and “my” when they talk.
✦ Very rarely talk about their inner life, memories and dreams, for example.
✦ Lie, using subterfuge and deception as tools
✦ Are stuck in one level of maturity where growth is not an option
✦ Only have eyes for “me, myself, and I” instead of “we”
✦ Don’t understand empathy, except to fake it as a tool
✦ Play “Give to get” by being nice or helpful only to expect reciprocation
✦ Put on the air of “having it all together” and will not readily admit failure or weakness
✦ Jump to defensive mode readily and frequently
✦ May apologize, but it doesn’t mean a real change in behavior
✦ Run from their own problems rather than tackling them
✦ Demand your trust rather than being transparent and earning it
✦ See you as extensions of themselves and resist your freedom
✦ Create stories, euphemisms, sayings, definitions, rules they hold up as Truth. Their world is false.
✦ Must talk about themselves & be in control. They want you to just be an ego-stroking entity for them.
✦ Find personality weaknesses & exploit them as easily as you & I ride a bicycle.
✦ Will rarely listen to or respect your “No”
✦ Take advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
✦ Appear tough-minded or unemotional
✦ React to criticism with anger, blame-shifting, shaming or humiliating others
✦ Fail to recognize people’s emotions and feelings
✦ Exaggerate achievements, personal history or talents
✦ Are unpredictable in mood and behavior
✦ Become aggressive, hostile, verbally vicious, or withdraws when threatened
✦ Can vocalize regret for a short time when found out, but soon rationalizes it away
✦ Appearance is important, so primping or fastidiousness is common
✦ Withdraw or a cold shoulder is used as a tool to make you do what they want
✦ Rationalize everything to make sure they always come out on top
✦ Will steal an idea, quote, lesson plan, piece of wisdom — call it their own
✦ Groom underlings and create organizational or business environments to suit their need for ego stroking

“Crazymakers thrive on drama, and melodrama requires a sense of impending doom. Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death, or something they will get to eventually. Read ‘never’ … Nearly any situation can be cast as melodrama to support a crazymaker’s plot lines …

“A crazymaker is someone who makes you crazy by constantly stirring up storms.
“‘Normal’ doesn’t serve their need for power.
“Everything is always their problem, but nothing is their fault.”
SOURCE: “The Artist’s Way at Work – Riding the Dragon. Twelve Weeks to Creative Freedom” by Mark Bryan, with Julia Cameron and Catherine Allen

WORKPLACE NARCISSISTS

✦ Create Employment Hemorrhage — narcissists drive people away with inconsistent, raging, and arrogant actions.
✦ Tend to be a lot of talk — fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
✦ Can suck up to bosses while talking down to those they think inferior
✦ Expect others to go along with them because their plans are better or special
✦ Expect constant praise and attention
✦ When work or plans fail, will blame others and make it sound plausible
✦ Will take advantage of co-workers
✦ Will be jealous of others’ success but wear a face of confidence
✦ Play the “If you don’t like it I’m taking my ball and going home” game
✦ Exaggerate abilities and uses blame-shifting to cover deficits
✦ Can’t understand “There is no ‘I’ in ‘TEAM’.”
✦ Often argumentative, but arguments are convoluted, emotional, irrational

The following tips on narcissistic behavior come from The Winning Teams website:
✦ They feel that the rules at work don’t apply to them.
✦ They will always cheat whenever they think they can get away with it.
✦ If you share workload with them, expect to do the lion’s share yourself.
✦ They love to delegate work or projects and then interfere by micro-managing things
✦ If things go well, they take the credit; if the work turns out badly, they blame the person they delegated it to.
✦ There tend to be higher levels of stress with people who work with or interact with a narcissist, which in turn increases absenteeism and staff turnover.
✦ They get impatient and restless when the topic of discussion is about someone else, and not about them.

Need some Narcissist Kryptonite?
The Narcissist — A User’s Guide

MUST BE RIGHT ATTITUDE

✦ Value religiosity’s rules or business protocol over spiritual growth.
✦ Take pride in their own righteousness and rightness.
✦ Attempt to belittle any version of reality that conflicts with theirs.
✦ Can’t believe they make mistakes.
✦ Have an inability to feel or process or truly understand shame.

MANIPULATIVE

✦ Create scenarios to discover your weakness or fears to manipulate later.
✦ Don’t use language as communication. It’s for hiding, deflecting, avoiding, masking, & manipulating.
✦ Their charm is false. Contradict them a few times & you’ll feel their out-of-proportion narcissistic rage.
✦ Their conversations & interactions aren’t meant to enlighten, but to confuse, control, & create drama.
✦ Are black holes, working to get time, money, or talent from you.
✦ Expect you to lend a listening ear and give votes of approval.
✦ Use emotional withdraw to create guilt and compliance.
✦ Will use the parental or child role to get what they want.
✦ Will betray secrets to feel more powerful.
✦ Can use flattery or sickly-sweet protests of innocence like a stealth weapon.
✦ Use verbal skills to block or deflect being confronted.
✦ Impact our lives negatively despite appearing to have some positive effect.

NARCISSISTS’ SUBCONSCIOUS FALSE EGO

✦ Their subconscious creates a false ego from which to relate to the world. They are their own avatar!
✦ Subconsciously real relationships don’t exist for them. We’re all just players on the narcissists stage.
✦ Their sole subconscious pursuit is to be seen as God’s gift to the world in a certain area or skill set.
✦ Early emotional trauma freezes their worldview at that age, making them immature, impatient, inconsiderate.

Thank you for visiting and learning about self defense.
If you think others can benefit, please pass it on!

Lori Hoeck

Manipulation Marionette

Is the ‘Successful Psychopath’ a Myth or Reality? / PsyPost

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http://www.psypost.org/2015/10/is-the-successful-psychopath-a-myth-or-reality-38286

Is successful psychopathy an oxymoron? What’s the difference between psychopaths who spend their lives in prison and those who excel in society? These are some of the questions examined in a new study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science.

The study, a scientific status report on early and current research, seeks to define “successful psychopathy” and compare the most common models in use today.

Most research on psychopathy involves studying people who are incarcerated — and these individuals are assumed to be “unsuccessful.”

“Nevertheless, the past decade has witnessed growing interest in an intriguing possibility: Perhaps many psychopathic individuals are thriving in the everyday world, in some cases occupying the higher echelons of selected professions,” wrote Scott Lilienfeld, corresponding author, in the study. “Indeed, [Robert D. Hare] posited that incarcerated psychopaths ‘represent only the tip of a very large iceberg.’”

Definition: What is Successful Psychopathy?

According to Lilienfeld and his colleagues, scientists disagree over how to define success.

“Some emphasize short-term success, whereas others emphasize long-term success; some emphasize the attainment of personal fame and fortune, whereas others emphasize behaviors benefiting society,” said Lilienfeld. “Still others emphasize only the absence of prominent antisocial behavior.”

This fundamental disagreement has led to three distinct models of psychopathy, all of which were examined and compared in this review.

Differential-severity Model

The differential-severity model suggests that psychopathy is a single construct on a spectrum, and that successful and unsuccessful psychopaths only differ in their severity.

This model has not been statistically verified. In fact, a study conducted on 29 participants with psychopathic traits seems to refute it. “Success” was defined by whether or not the participant had been convicted of a crime.

The study found that the scores between the two groups on the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) only differed in specific areas. The unsuccessful psychopaths scored higher on measures of charm and guiltlessness, for example, but lower on other measures.

Moderated-expression Model

This model also suggests that psychopathy is a single construct, but that successful psychopaths also possess some characteristics outside of psychopathy that help them to buffer themselves against poor consequences. Some of these factors might be intelligence or positive parenting.

Several studies lend credibility to this theory, according to the research team. One such study found that successful psychopaths exhibit higher executive functioning and more sensitive responsiveness, and are better at processing information. This study also used incarceration to define “success.”.

Several other studies have linked positive parenting with the inhibition of antisocial behaviors. Though the link has not been proven, several longitudinal studies are in the works to examine it further.

Differential-configuration Model

Unlike the first two models, the differential-configuration model suggests that psychopathy is a combination of several traits and factors. Successful and unsuccessful psychopaths differ in the individual traits they possess. One particular trait that many successful psychopaths may exhibit is fearless dominance.

In one study, scientists surveyed 146 psychologists, lawyers and psychology professors to describe a psychopath they knew who had achieved success. 75 percent of respondents identified colleagues; many of them were distinguished from unsuccessful psychopaths by certain traits, such as extraversion, self-discipline, and a lack of agreeableness.

Lilienfeld and his colleagues concluded: “Although successful psychopathy has long been the province of popular psychology, recent research has begun to shed light on this enigmatic construct.”

While early research has been interesting and thought provoking, more research and a better definition of “successful psychopath” are needed before any strong conclusions can be drawn.

“By attending to these [factors], researchers will hopefully achieve a better understanding of how one person with pronounced psychopathic traits can end up being the prototype of the habitual criminal, whereas another can end up being the prototype for [the successful psychopath],” Lilienfeld said.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

November 3, 2015 at 11:33 pm

Lundy Bancroft ( Quote)

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

October 7, 2015 at 10:08 am

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