Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

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After her dad publicly shames her in YouTube video, 13-year-old Washington girl jumps off overpass

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http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/05/1390844/-After-her-dad-publicly-shames-her-in-YouTube-video-13-year-old-Washington-girl-jumps-off-overpass

Izabel Laxamana, a 13-year-old girl in Tacoma, Washington died by suicide after jumping off a highway overpass on Friday, May 29. Days before, Laxamana’s father Jeff had reportedly punished her for an unspecified transgression by cutting off her hair and uploading a video to YouTube. There’s now a controversy brewing online and among the girl’s friends and family over whether the video caused her death.
Tacoma’s News Tribune reports that the girl, who they don’t identify by name, exited a car and jumped off a bridge onto Interstate 5. She was taken to a Seattle hospital, where she died on Saturday. Friends of the Laxamana family are now raising money for funeral costs on a GoFundMe site.

Her father deleted the original :15 second video from YouTube, but not before a friend of Izabel’s recorded it and reposted it:

While people are questioning whether her suicide was the result of being publicly shamed, it is clear from accounts of friends and family that Izabel suffered from depression and anxiety. In August 2014 when she posted to her Google+ account:
I feel hated most of the time im in school i feel looked down on and i get judged alot…. But what keeps me going is people like kian who have gone through the same thing as me… In a school with so many people its weird to say “i feel alone” but the truth is that you really do feel alone. So thanks for everything kian….
Nonetheless, friends posted the video as a warning for parents about the consequences of public shaming videos. And the debate rages on about whether these types of videos are a form of abuse. Either way, a beautiful young girl has lost her life and her friends and family are left to pick up the pieces.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

June 9, 2015 at 5:15 am

Always Love You (Mother’s Day Song) – Tori Kelly Original

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Love to all the Mother Heroes from PMA International

Happy Mother’s Day To All Protective Mother Heroes

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This is for all the Protective Mothers with empty arms and hurting hearts who are missing their children every second of every day, but who are deeply hurting this weekend- Mother’s Day weekend. Know that no matter what, you ARE your children’s mother. No one -and certainly no court- can take away this God-given role in your children’s lives. Please know this in your heart. PMA INTL. celebrates you, Protective Mom, and deeply understands the unconditional love and heroic sacrifices you have made to protect your children from abuse and harm. You are modern day heroes, and PMA INTL strongly believes that you will go down in history as such. PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children now and forever. You are always in are hearts. Happy Mother’s Day!

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Husband Says He Can’t Afford His Wife As A Stay-At-Home Mom And His Reasoning Add s Up. Big Time. / IJReview

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This article was originally posted on IJReview ( link below)

Since Mother’s Day is just around the corner, we have decided to post this hopeful, uplifting and positive article about a husband and father who truly understands what all moms do ( did) for their families,

How nice when a man appreciates, understands and acknowledges all that his wife and- mother of his child- does for her family!

Happy Mothers’ Day- PMA International loves and supports you for the Hero you are.

http://www.ijreview.com/2015/04/287991-fathers-cant-afford-stay-home-mom/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=liftbump&utm_campaign=culture

When Steven and Glory got married, Glory worked while Steven finished up school. Once their son was born, it didn’t seem financially possible for Glory to go back to work. Nelms explains to IJReview:

“With childcare costs it would’ve been a wash with her income at best. So we decided that she would stay home as long as it made sense.”

According to Nelms, before having Ezra, Glory had been employed since the age of 14.

“It has always been part of her, especially since she began contributing to the financial needs of her family by 17 years old,” he says. “So getting a paycheck was a significant part of feeling valued and appreciated for all the hard work she did to provide for herself and help her family.”

In an attempt to appreciate all of the work Glory does for the family — and put a numerical value on it — Nelms wrote a profound essay that he posted to We Are Glory.

“I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now. I’ve been thinking that I can’t afford for my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, I don’t at all mean to offend anyone with this post. I just have to say that for me personally, I can’t afford it… I mean that I quite literally cannot afford my wife to be staying at home. Here’s why…

My wife stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers, feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum. A child can typically get that attention at a day-care. But on top of that, he is her only focus… Obviously, this is part of being a parent. You take care of your child and you raise your child. But let’s face it. In our day and age… there is a company ready and willing to do just about anything. So while, yes, my wife is my son’s mother and it is a natural result of being a parent to love and care for your own child, there is also a very quantifiable dollar amount that can be attributed to the services rendered. I am in no way trying to simplify, objectify, or devalue the priceless love of a mother for her child. But let’s be real. Pay day feels good for a reason. Because you’re seeing your hard work appreciated in a tangible way that lets you “treat yo self”. And this is exactly why I can’t afford my wife being a Stay-At-Home Mom. The national average weekly salary for a full-time nanny is $705. That’s $36,660 a year.

We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel… [but] the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.

Nelms further elaborates on the cost of all his wife does based on his personal research:

Cleaning Service: $50-100 per visit once a week = $5,200 a year.
Personal Shopper (running the errands like buying groceries and “a new pack of white undershirts”): $65 per hour at 4 hours a week = $13,5250 a year.
Chef (lunch and dinner): $240 a week = $12,480 a year.

“So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here.”

He takes it a step further.

Financial Assistant (paying the bills, finances, budgeting): $15 an hour — add $75 an hour if your wife plays a part in “professional interactions” like business dinners as, according to Nelms, the average for a PR assistant is $75 per hour.
Laundry: $25 a week, minimum.

“Let’s average 5 hours a week on financial services, 4 hours per business dinner (about 3 a year), and a weekly laundry service. Add that onto our very conservative estimates for childcare, house cleaning, and shopping, and that’s an annual salary of $73,960. Looking objectively at an almost insultingly conservative average of the services rendered, I cannot afford my wife.”

“My wife sometimes feels patronized when I ask her permission to buy something for myself. She feels like it’s my money and my name on the paycheck so I shouldn’t have to ask permission to get myself something every once in a while. The truth is, I’m ashamed of any time I’ve ever made her feel guilty or humored when she’s purchased something for herself. I’m ashamed that she has ever felt like she doesn’t have just as much right to our income as I do. The fact of the matter is that our income doesn’t even come close to covering what she does for our family. I would have to make over 100K to even begin to be able to cover my living expenses as well as employ my wife as a Stay-At-Home Mom!

In short, I can’t afford for my wife to stay at home. And I’ve tragically failed to show my wife the appreciation that she deserves. She loves me, loves our son, and loves our family, so obviously she isn’t doing any of those things for a paycheck or even for recognition. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to know that as a Stay-At-Home Mom her appraised salary is nearly double my actual income. So in a very weird way, this is my way of saying how much I value my wife as the mother of my child and the one who always has my back no matter what. You are more precious than rubies. And I can’t afford you.“

As Nelms had hoped, the blog post resonated with Glory and it reaffirmed the importance of all she does as a mother and a wife.

Nelms recognizes that different families have different circumstances.

“In whichever way your particular family is able to provide for one another, it should be encouraging. Comparing one family dynamic to another shouldn’t serve to discourage anyone in what is necessary for their circumstances.”

Well said.

New Developments on Parents of Missing Son Found Alive in Their Basement/ Inside Edition

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http://www.insideedition.com/headlines/8518-new-developments-on-parents-of-missing-son-found-alive-in-their-basement

There is a new twist in the mystery of the missing who was boy found alive in his own father’s basement.

Twelve-year-old Charlie Bothuell’s stepmother was in court in Detroit on Friday after a night behind bars. The 37-year-old woman was busted for a probation violation unrelated to the missing boy investigation. But she is considered a “person of interest” in the case. Her four-year-old son and ten-month-old daughter were being cared for by child protective services. She pled not guilty to the probation violation.

Charlie, missing for nearly two weeks, was found in his father’s basement hidden behind a barricade. There was a wooden pallet used as a table, some bedding, and snacks.

HLN’s Nancy Grace breaking the news to his father that Charlie had been found in the basement is now being called one of the most riveting live TV moments in recent years. The father’s reaction is causing some to question if he knew where the boy was all along.

Grace said, “The barricade set up for the boy that he was hiding behind was of a nature that it would have been very difficult for a boy his age to do. Apparently it was put together with furniture like a dresser, a 55-gallon drum, a lot of boxes, and he was back behind that.”

Now, Charlie’s father is under investigation for suspected child abuse. Police recovered a plastic pipe, allegedly used to discipline the boy.

The father reportedly insisted little Charlie follow a grueling exercise reginmen of 4,000 steps on an elliptical trainer every day. The boy failed to complete the exercise the day he disappeared.

The stepmother reportedly texted Charlie’s dad that he was “not doing his chores” and he would “have to deal with that.”

Bothuell has denied any acts of child abuse.

The boy’s now in his mother’s care. His father has been ordered to avoid contact with the child.

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

July 14, 2014 at 2:59 am

Victory for Justina Pelletier Family

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http://boston.cbslocal.com/2014/06/17/family-says-justina-pelletier-will-be-released-from-state-custody/

BOSTON (CBS) – A Connecticut teenager is being released to her family after a long custody battle.Justina Pelletier’s sister says the family will be reunited on Wednesday.

Justina’s family lost custody 16 months ago when Children’s Hospital said it found evidence of medical abuse and the state of Massachusetts stepped in.

WBZ asked Justina’s mother, Linda, about potential legal action against the state but she would not comment.

“I’m still numb from it,” Linda Pelletier said Tuesday. “I am so excited, and Justina started crying.”

The family is planning to hold a news conference on Wednesday.

Massachusetts Secretary of Health and Human Services John Polanowicz weighed in on the judge’s ruling, calling the result a collaborative effort.

“Today’s decision is a result of our collaboration with the Pelletier family around the reunification plan, and the strong work of staff at the Susan Wayne Center for Excellence in helping Justina along her road to recovery. The Court’s ruling reflects a thorough review of this complex case, and we are very pleased with the result,” he said in a statement.

5 reasons why we fall for con artists/ Lovefraud

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This article was originally posted on Lovefraud

5 reasons why we fall for con artists

Donna Anderson

We discover that our romantic partner is a complete and utter fake.

The proclamations of love, the stories of his or her past — nothing was true. All the money that our partner desperately needed — or promised would buy a life of luxury for the two of us — well, that evaporated into expensive and unnecessary toys, or a secret life with one or more other lovers (targets).

When it finally sinks in that we’ve been conned, the first question we ask of ourselves is, “How could I have been so stupid?”

Followed by, “Why didn’t I see this coming?”

Feeling like chumps, we come down really hard on ourselves. But we aren’t the only ones who are blind to the social predators living among us — our entire society is blind.

The fact that millions of sociopaths live among us is like a giant skeleton in the closet of the human race that nobody wants to talk about. This sets us up to be victimized.

Sociopathic con artists take advantage of this collective and individual blindness. With the skill that comes from practicing their craft from a very young age, they manipulate our empathy and emotions. They use us to accomplish their objectives du jour, whatever they may be.

So here’s why we end up in romantic relationships with sociopathic con artists:

Reason #1 – We don’t know sociopaths exist

Most people think sociopaths are all criminals and deranged serial killers — this isn’t necessarily true. Social predators live among us, and most of them never kill anyone. Still, these people have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.

The numbers are staggering. Lovefraud uses the term “sociopath” to cover all social predators — people who would be clinically diagnosed as being antisocial, psychopathic, narcissistic or borderline. If you add up the official estimates of people with these conditions, perhaps 12% of the population — 37 million people in the US — have personality disorders that make them unsuitable to be romantic partners.

And we, as a society, don’t know it.

Reason #2 – We believe people are basically the same

In the United States, from the time we are small children, we are bombarded with messages about fairness, equal opportunity, giving people a chance and tolerance. In school, we learn that we’re all created equal. In church, we learn that we’re all God’s children.

As a result, we believe all people are basically the same, there is good in everyone, and everyone just wants to be loved. Unfortunately, there is a segment of the population for which this simply is not true.

Sociopaths view the world as predators and prey — they are the predators, and everyone else is prey. They are not motivated by love; they are motivated by power and control. These people pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation.

Reason #3 – Humans are lousy lie detectors

Research shows that people can identify a lie only 53% of the time — not much better than flipping a coin.

All those signs that are supposedly giveaways that someone is lying — like looking away, failing to make eye contact — well, they simply don’t apply when a sociopath is doing the lying.

Sociopaths are expert liars. They spend their whole lives lying. They feel entitled to lie. They lie for the fun of it. In fact, there’s a phenomenon called “duping delight” — sociopaths get a thrill out of staring right into their targets’ eyes and pulling the wool over them.

People who are not liars never see it coming.

Reason #4 – Sociopaths hijack the normal human bonding process

Trust is the glue that holds society together. Trust is so important to the human race that it is programmed into our biology.

A hormone called oxytocin is released in our brain and bloodstream whenever we feel intimacy — emotional or physical. Oxytocin then makes us feel calm, trusting and content, and alleviates fear and anxiety. Nature created this process to make people want to stay together to raise children.

When sociopaths target us for romantic relationships, they either spend a lot of time building what seems to be trust, or they rush us into emotional, physical or sexual intimacy. Either way, they get the oxytocin flowing in our brains, which makes us trust them. They keep piling on the intimacy, and we, to our detriment, keep trusting.

For more information, read Oxytocin, trust and why we fall for psychopaths, on Lovefraud.com.

Reason #5 – The betrayal bond makes it difficult to escape

Once the love bond is in place, the sociopath does things that create fear and anxiety in us — like cheating on us, or taking more and more money.

Contrary to what we might expect, instead of driving us away, this actually makes the bond we feel with the sociopath stronger. It becomes a betrayal bond — a powerful bond that we feel with someone who is destructive to us.

We want desperately to return to the heady experience of the beginning of our involvement, which was filled with what we believed was love and affection. We keep waiting for the sociopath to make the situation right.

But he or she never does. The exploitation continues.

Betrayal bonds are highly addictive and difficult to break. That’s why we stay in the relationship far longer than we should — until we can no longer escape the fact that we’ve been conned.

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