Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

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I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU BY K J ( POETRY) / Love Letters To Our Children

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https://loveletterstoourchildren.wordpress.com/2015/10/06/i-will-always-love-you-by-k-j-poetry/

I know my arm is strong
the landscape of it’s breadth has held new life
has cradled the sweetest innocence
and protected a beating heart
I know my arm is strong
the same arm,
clenched tight by an angry fist,
is still strong

My voice is still here
the power of my words to heal and sooth
the joy of song and treasured talk
the chosen silence and the answers
no matter how heavy the hand
to bring down my voice,
my voice is still here

The heart
no words can tell
written, spoken, heard,
how you are my heart
my dearest child
that the deepest well within my being
holds your light and memory
always,
always,
and no man
no woman
no power, being, or force
shall take you from me
shall shake my grasp
of hope
that i will be your mother
that you are my child
and I will always love you.

K.J © 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

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13 year old reunited with mother after being imprisoned by father

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Florida boy, 13, is reunited with his mother after being found imprisoned behind a false wall in his father’s Georgia home after going missing FOUR YEARS ago Boy, 13, from Florida, reported missing to child welfare authorities in 2010 He had gone to father’s house in Georgia and he ‘refused to give him back’ He downloaded cellphone app and text mother saying he was being beaten Police arrived at scene and found teen hidden behind wall in a linen closet Five people – victim’s father, stepmother and three juveniles, were arrested They are charged with false imprisonment, obstruction and cruelty to child On Saturday morning, boy was reunited with mother in emotional scenes.

The unnamed teenager reportedly downloaded a cellphone app to text his Florida-based mother to tell her he was being held captive and beaten at the house in Clayton County, Georgia.

Police arrived at the scene and found the boy hidden behind a false panel in a linen closet in the property’s garage. He repeatedly thanked officers for rescuing him, according to reports.

In heart-wrenching scenes on Saturday morning, the victim was pictured clinging on to his weeping mother, who had traveled to Georgia, as another female relative sobbed uncontrollably nearby.

Now, five people in the house in Duke Court – the boy’s father, stepmother and three juveniles – have been arrested and charged with false imprisonment, obstruction and cruelty to a child.

The boy was reported missing to child welfare authorities in 2010 after he went to visit his father and he refused to return him to his mother, according to WSB-TV.

However, his mother never contacted the police, potentially because she is an immigrant and was unfamiliar with the system, it is said. But after receiving her son’s text, she immediately called 911.

Following her call, officers arrived at the property at 2am on Saturday. They reportedly questioned the house’s uncooperative occupants for several minutes before locating the victim.

It is unknown what condition the teenager was discovered in, or whether he was taken to hospital.

Sargent Joanne Southerland, of Clayton County Police Department, told the news station: ‘We came here to the home and were able to get inside and talk to the people inside.

‘After several minutes of denying that the child was here and that there was ever any assault or anything like that, we were able to find him in the linen closet.’

Officer Daniel Day added: ‘I just couldn’t believe it. We found him, we saw him. To say it was a great feeling is an understatement. He just couldn’t thank us enough, he was overjoyed we had found him.’

Police have now requested a search warrant for the property. A spokesman said they still have a lot of unanswered questions, including how the boy was imprisoned for so long without intervention.

The boy, whose legal custody is believed to lie with his mother, is expected to remain under the protection of the Division of Family and Children Services for the next couple of days.

What I’ve learned about domestic violence in my year reporting on it- Jess Hill/ theguardian

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http://www.theguardian.com

Pretty much everything I thought I knew about violence against women and children turned out to be wrong. Here’s how

When I started researching domestic violence last year, I thought I basically understood it. Some men, driven to distress by things such as unemployment, substance abuse or mental illness, were unable to control their anger, and took it out on the person they loved the most. We’ve all said and done things we’re not proud of in relationships – I thought domestic violence was just the extreme extension of that.

Enough lip service. We need urgent action to prevent deaths of women and children

It took about two weeks for that notion to be demolished. Dozens of conversations with survivors and advocates revealed a very different reality, and understanding it was like being given the key to a secret room. Domestic violence is not driven by anger, first and foremost. It’s driven by a need for – and a sense of entitlement to – power and control.

But someone with such a powerful drive to control would surely reveal that at work or around friends, I thought. But I wasn’t right about that, either. Sometimes they do, but often perpetrators come across as normal, good people – even pillars of the community.

It wasn’t until I’d spent months researching and writing about it that I began to understand why most people don’t get domestic violence: it doesn’t make sense. The traits are often entirely counter-intuitive, and attempts to look at it through the lens of common sense can actually drive you further from the truth.

It doesn’t make sense that even women who are smart and independent will stay with a man who treats them like dirt. It doesn’t make sense that even after fleeing, a woman is likely to return to that man six times on average – “it mustn’t be that bad”, people say. It doesn’t make sense that someone you know to be a good bloke could be going home to hold a knife to his wife’s throat. None of it makes sense.

But the more you learn about the nature of domestic violence, the more sense you can make of it. For me, a big penny-dropping moment was reading Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman’s landmark book on understanding psychological trauma. In it, she equates the experiences of domestic violence victims to those of prisoners of war. In both situations, establishing control over the other person is achieved through the “systematic, repetitive infliction of psychological trauma” designed to instill fear and helplessness.

Survivors who have escaped this systematic abuse often emerge from it confused and utterly disoriented. Tragically, that means they often don’t present as credible witnesses: in their post-traumatic state, their stories can be fragmented, highly emotional and contradictory.

In the court system, especially in cases determining the custody of children, victims can appear mentally disturbed and overly anxious, especially compared to their ex-partners, who come across as composed and reasonable. In a system where most lawyers and judicial staff are not trained to recognise the signs of family violence, victims – even ones with court orders on their side – can find themselves being accused of making up allegations to gain advantage.

According to a 2013 survey by VicHealth, a statutory health authority in Victoria, 53% of Australians think women going through custody battles make up or exaggerate claims of domestic violence in order to improve their case. Until I started researching this phenomenon, I believed that, too.

What’s even more confusing is that commonly, perpetrators believe they are the victim, and will plead their case to police, even as their partner stands bloody and bruised behind them. They can genuinely believe their partner provoked them to commit the abuse, just so they could get them in trouble. After a while, the victims start to blame themselves for the abuse, too – after all, he’s so nice to everybody else.

The work is hard, but it is worth it. Looking around at the room full of domestic violence advocates and survivors at last night’s Our Watch awards (launched this year in collaboration with the Walkley Awards, to recognise reporting on violence against women) it really hit me how important this work is. Domestic violence doesn’t make sense. But for these people – and for the thousands who are suffering in silence at this very moment – we need to make sense of it.

Jess Hill is an investigative reporter who contributes to Radio National’s Background Briefing and The Monthly. She has reported exclusively on domestic violence for the past year, and was on Thursday the recipient of three Our Watch Walkley Awards, including the Gold Award for reporting on violence against women.

* Women in danger should call triple zero immediately, while those suffering abuse can call DV Connect’s domestic violence hotline on 1800 811 811.

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

September 15, 2015 at 12:59 am

Family Court Kills Families ( Photography and Quote) / Unstoppable Mothers

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“Temporary” Custody ( Photography and Quote) / Unstoppable Mothers

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#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case

“The Judge gave my children’s father temporary custody after I have been the primary placement parent since birth. This “ temporary” custody is two years and counting. My ex was arrested for battery and convicted of DV. All this is perfectly acceptable to this Judge. .. Why?”

Unstoppable Mothers © 2015

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Mother of Missing Conn. Baby Feared for Child’s Safety / crimesider

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This article was originally posted on CBS news crimesider ( link below)

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mother-of-missing-connecticut-baby-feared-for-childs-safety/

HARTFORD, Conn. – The mother of a 7-month-old boy, whose father is believed to have jumped with him into the Connecticut River, previously sought a restraining order against the father saying she feared for her safety and the baby’s.

According to the Hartford Courant, the child – Aaden Moreno – had been the focus of a child custody case between his parents. His mother, Adrienne Oyola, was granted a temporary restraining order against the father, Tony Moreno, and that order had been in effect from June 17 to June 29, when it was denied by a judge, the newspaper reported, citing court records.

Aaden Moreno was reported missing the night of Sunday, July 5, when his father, 22-year-old Tony Moreno, jumped from the Arrigoni Bridge between Middletown and Portland. Police said Monday that Tony Moreno is believed to have jumped off the bridge with the child and that the mission to find the child is now a recovery operation.

Firefighters were able to pull Tony Moreno from the river and took him to Hartford Hospital, where he was initially listed in serious condition. Police later said he was upgraded to stable condition and that he was alert and conscious.

Charges are expected when the investigation is completed, police said.

CBS affiliate WFSB reports that in a petition last month for a restraining order against Tony Moreno, the child’s mother, Adrienne Oyola, wrote, “I am afraid he is going to do something to my son. He is angry and probably isn’t thinking straight.”

According to the Hartford Courant, Oyola wrote in the application that she and Tony Moreno were happy until she became pregnant and he began to verbally abuse, threaten and push her.

“He has told me he could make my son disappear any time of the day,” she wrote, according to the paper. “He told me how he could make me disappear told me how he could kill me. I sometimes am scared to sleep. He told me he would put me in the ground and put something on me to make me disintegrate faster.”

“I feel that he is a danger to my child and me and would like to leave with my child and get full custody,” she reportedly continued.

The restraining order was denied just six days before the tragedy, WFSB reports. It is unclear why.

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Husband Says He Can’t Afford His Wife As A Stay-At-Home Mom And His Reasoning Add s Up. Big Time. / IJReview

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This article was originally posted on IJReview ( link below)

Since Mother’s Day is just around the corner, we have decided to post this hopeful, uplifting and positive article about a husband and father who truly understands what all moms do ( did) for their families,

How nice when a man appreciates, understands and acknowledges all that his wife and- mother of his child- does for her family!

Happy Mothers’ Day- PMA International loves and supports you for the Hero you are.

http://www.ijreview.com/2015/04/287991-fathers-cant-afford-stay-home-mom/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=liftbump&utm_campaign=culture

When Steven and Glory got married, Glory worked while Steven finished up school. Once their son was born, it didn’t seem financially possible for Glory to go back to work. Nelms explains to IJReview:

“With childcare costs it would’ve been a wash with her income at best. So we decided that she would stay home as long as it made sense.”

According to Nelms, before having Ezra, Glory had been employed since the age of 14.

“It has always been part of her, especially since she began contributing to the financial needs of her family by 17 years old,” he says. “So getting a paycheck was a significant part of feeling valued and appreciated for all the hard work she did to provide for herself and help her family.”

In an attempt to appreciate all of the work Glory does for the family — and put a numerical value on it — Nelms wrote a profound essay that he posted to We Are Glory.

“I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now. I’ve been thinking that I can’t afford for my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, I don’t at all mean to offend anyone with this post. I just have to say that for me personally, I can’t afford it… I mean that I quite literally cannot afford my wife to be staying at home. Here’s why…

My wife stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers, feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum. A child can typically get that attention at a day-care. But on top of that, he is her only focus… Obviously, this is part of being a parent. You take care of your child and you raise your child. But let’s face it. In our day and age… there is a company ready and willing to do just about anything. So while, yes, my wife is my son’s mother and it is a natural result of being a parent to love and care for your own child, there is also a very quantifiable dollar amount that can be attributed to the services rendered. I am in no way trying to simplify, objectify, or devalue the priceless love of a mother for her child. But let’s be real. Pay day feels good for a reason. Because you’re seeing your hard work appreciated in a tangible way that lets you “treat yo self”. And this is exactly why I can’t afford my wife being a Stay-At-Home Mom. The national average weekly salary for a full-time nanny is $705. That’s $36,660 a year.

We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel… [but] the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.

Nelms further elaborates on the cost of all his wife does based on his personal research:

Cleaning Service: $50-100 per visit once a week = $5,200 a year.
Personal Shopper (running the errands like buying groceries and “a new pack of white undershirts”): $65 per hour at 4 hours a week = $13,5250 a year.
Chef (lunch and dinner): $240 a week = $12,480 a year.

“So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here.”

He takes it a step further.

Financial Assistant (paying the bills, finances, budgeting): $15 an hour — add $75 an hour if your wife plays a part in “professional interactions” like business dinners as, according to Nelms, the average for a PR assistant is $75 per hour.
Laundry: $25 a week, minimum.

“Let’s average 5 hours a week on financial services, 4 hours per business dinner (about 3 a year), and a weekly laundry service. Add that onto our very conservative estimates for childcare, house cleaning, and shopping, and that’s an annual salary of $73,960. Looking objectively at an almost insultingly conservative average of the services rendered, I cannot afford my wife.”

“My wife sometimes feels patronized when I ask her permission to buy something for myself. She feels like it’s my money and my name on the paycheck so I shouldn’t have to ask permission to get myself something every once in a while. The truth is, I’m ashamed of any time I’ve ever made her feel guilty or humored when she’s purchased something for herself. I’m ashamed that she has ever felt like she doesn’t have just as much right to our income as I do. The fact of the matter is that our income doesn’t even come close to covering what she does for our family. I would have to make over 100K to even begin to be able to cover my living expenses as well as employ my wife as a Stay-At-Home Mom!

In short, I can’t afford for my wife to stay at home. And I’ve tragically failed to show my wife the appreciation that she deserves. She loves me, loves our son, and loves our family, so obviously she isn’t doing any of those things for a paycheck or even for recognition. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to know that as a Stay-At-Home Mom her appraised salary is nearly double my actual income. So in a very weird way, this is my way of saying how much I value my wife as the mother of my child and the one who always has my back no matter what. You are more precious than rubies. And I can’t afford you.“

As Nelms had hoped, the blog post resonated with Glory and it reaffirmed the importance of all she does as a mother and a wife.

Nelms recognizes that different families have different circumstances.

“In whichever way your particular family is able to provide for one another, it should be encouraging. Comparing one family dynamic to another shouldn’t serve to discourage anyone in what is necessary for their circumstances.”

Well said.

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