Protective Mothers' Alliance International

family court abuse/corruption

Posts Tagged ‘PMA

Merry Christmas to The Quintessential Hero- The Protective Mother

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Of all the rights of woman, the greatest is to be a mother― Lin Yutang

As we once again face the holidays, many protective mothers are without their precious children. The pain of having to live a life under these circumstances is unbearable.

We know because we also live it.

In times like this our grief and loss is felt three fold. Once for ourselves, once for our children and once for all the other protective mothers and children who one day found themselves in a nightmarish club of mothers in which they never wanted a membership- the Protective Mother.

In times like this we wish we could reach through our computers and give you a big warm nurturing hug. We wish we had a magic wand to wave and bring your children back. We wish we could erase the memory of the trauma and pain for both you and your children, heal you and make you whole and happy again.

If we could speak to your estranged child we would let them know how very special their mother is.

How she fought for you when she had nothing left in her to fight. How she spent years, and in some cases, decades putting her life on hold sacrificing her happiness, health and finances just to protect you from control, and abuse while keeping you safe in her arms.

Day after day dealing with attorneys, who betrayed and demeaned her, while quickly and greedily devouring her finances. Appearing in court before Judges who bullied and controlled her. Attending endless meetings with Evaluators, Therapists and Guardian Ad Litems who make her jump through impossible, and inhumane high hoops that your other parent was not forced to jump through.

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Did she jump? Oh yes. Over and over and over again your protective mother twisted herself up, denied her pain , took the torture and abuse with a quiet smile on her face and a small exasperated sigh.

Lied on repeatedly , humiliated and abused your mother soldiered on, just for you- for the unstoppable, unconditional love your protective mother has for you runs deeper than anything you can ever imagine.

Isn’t this what heroes do? Heroes absorb the pain take the abuse and live the sacrifice, for the greater good. In this case , the greater good was protecting you.

We would tell these children that their mother is not just any mother, she is not just a single mother. Your mother is all that, yet so much more. Your Protective Mother is a beautiful light in this dark world, she is a warrior for truth and justice, she is an angel of love.

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Yes, the greatest right for a woman is to be a mother, but for women who had this right unjustly stripped from them due to corruption, misogyny, ignorance, and greed, they had to claw , dig and sustain the deepest of wounds that may never heal from their nobel fight.Your Protective Mother was fueled by the fire of her deep love for you burning in her heart and soul. Your Protective Mother attempted to regain this right so both of you can be happy together, loving each other in peace and free from all forms of control and abuse. Your Protective Mother is not just any mother, she is a super mother -the quintessential hero.

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For all the Protective Mothers this Holiday who are without their precious children, PMA International wants you to know- you have our love, respect, support and understanding – always. Here’s to a better New Year.
The PMA International Team

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Happy Halloween From PMA International

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

October 31, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Building a Broad-Based Movement for Family Justice / Lundy Bancroft

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Originally posted on Lundy Bancroft’s Prevention, Response, and Healing for Domestic Abuse and Child Maltreatment blog ( link below).
FYI ; this was written before PMA became international ( PMA International)

As always Thank you for your involvement, and support, Lundy. We love and support you back.

http://www.lundybancroft.com/child-custody-justice/building-a-broad-based-movement-for-family-justice?fb_action_ids=558939527570999&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=feed_opengraph&action_object_map=%7B%22558939527570999%22%3A525395174249000%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22558939527570999%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

In the long term, the only reliable way to keep children safe is to bring about a revolutionary change in how family law courts across the continent respond to child custody and visitation disputes, especially those containing reports of domestic violence or severe psychological abuse, child physical abuse, and child sexual abuse. These reforms need to require the courts to follow rules of evidence and operate in an unbiased way, and need to involve better oversight of courts by administrators and by appeals courts. We probably also need to move away from the single-judge system, which gives an unreasonable amount of power to one individual over decisions that can harm children (and parents) for the rest of their lives. These reforms also need to specifically address gender bias in the child custody system, because mothers are being targeted for especially horrible treatment in the courts. Finally, the system by which attorneys, custody evaluators, guardians, and psychological evaluators are paid need dramatic reformation, so that a family’s resources go primarily to the children’s future, not into the pockets of professionals.
The key to building a successful movement for family justice is to have protective mothers themselves occupying the key positions of leadership within the movement. Allies also have an important role to play. For example, there are many men who are interested in being active in building this movement, especially the brothers, fathers, and new partners (new husbands and boyfriends) of protective mothers, who have witnessed up close what happens when a woman attempts to protect her children from a violent father post-separation.
There are many organizations nationally working for custody justice for protective mothers, and for protective parents of both sexes. A national organization that I am part of, the Protective Mothers Alliance, is committed to promoting the leadership of protective mothers themselves and to helping build a coordinated national movement of mothers and their allies.

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PMA International Thanks You

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PMA International continues on our journey establishing ourselves as being an innovative , instrumental and groundbreaking leader in the Mothers Movement. PMA International leads the way in these areas;

1. The first organization to be international
2. The first organization to use Facebook for advocacy on family court issues
3. The first organization to use the term DV by Proxy- Domestic Violence by Proxy (DV by Proxy), is a term first used by Alina Patterson, author of Health and Healing. DV by Proxy refers to a pattern of behavior by an abuser parent with a history of domestic violence intimidation and control. This abuser parent uses the child as a substitute when he no longer has access to his former partner. This is done by manipulation and lies teaching the child to hate the targeted parent. This process is further fueled by the child’s traumatic bonding to the abuser parent.
4. The first organization to have a blog talk radio show dedicated to this issue
5. The first organization to have a no abuse zone policy
6. The first organization to combine Art with Advocacy  with our original PMA projects such as Love Letters to Our Children, Unstoppable Mothers and Lundy’s original play about family court issues.
7. The first organization to use Pinterest for advocacy on family court issues.
8 The first organization led by a group of protective mother-driven advocates.
9. The first organization to recognize and promote Protective Mothers as heroes

10. The first organization to recognize and promote the teaching of critical thinking skills to our children for protection from DV By Proxy.

And, of course, the only organization co- founded by Lundy Bancroft, including his participation and full stamp of approval.

For the few who do not know who Lundy Bancroft is, please read all about him here;

http://www.lundybancroft.com/homepage/lundy-bancroft

PMA International is all this and so much more. Thank you to our members, Leaders and Administrators for your support in making PMA International a forward- thinking groundbreaking, organization for change. We will continue to move forward in unique and creative ways. We will continue to be innovative and think “outside the box” to raise awareness and bring positive change to family court abuse and corruption. We love and support you and your precious children…. Always

PMA International …. A family of advocates

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Under the Microscope – Who is Samantha Williams?

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As the PMA International U.S.A Regional Director/Healing and Prayer Warrior Administrator I have the great honor of interviewing the newest member of the PMA International team; Samantha Williams. Samantha who is a second year law student has her own history with family court. Samantha is our Hear Us NOW administrator and we predict great things for her future. In the tradition of PMA International , below are the interview questions that we call Under The Microscope, These questions are borrowed from a French series, “Bouillon de Culture” hosted by Bernard Pivot.
They’re better known as the questions that James Lipton asks every guest at the end of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” show. So, Here they are PMA International style! Sit back , relax and join us in getting to know this intelligent, articulate , gracious young women- Samantha Williams, who is now Under The Microscope.

E.J; What’s your favorite word?
S.W; cool

E.J; What’s your least favorite word?
S.W; abuse

E.J; What turns you on creatively, spiritually and emotionally?
S.W; Hanging out with my friends

E.J; What turns you off?
S.W; Creepy guys and snakes

E.J; What sound or noise do you love?
S.W; The sound of my mom’s voice

E.J; Awwww How sweet!!

E.J: What sound or noise do you hate?
S.W: Car horn

E.J: We understand you are in law school, so what profession other than law would you like to attempt?
S.W: A veterinarian

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E.J: What profession would you not like to do?
S.W: undertaker, creepy.

E.J: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
S.W: Your Grandma has been waiting to see you.

E.J: What’s your favorite color?
S.W: Blue, like the sky.

E.J: What’s your favorite food?
S.W Italian. Loooove pasta!!!

E.J: If you could live anywhere,where would you live?
S.W: Hawaii Love the beach!!

E.J: What is your dream vacation?
S.W: African safari

E.J: If you had a magic wand to do anything with, what would you do?
S.W: I would make family court better for moms and kids. I would also bring the children back to their moms and take away the brainwashing that has been done to them
E.J: Very nice.

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E.j: Why did you begin this journey as an advocate?
S.W: Because I know through my own experience what children go through in family court. I want to help those children and adult children of protective moms heal and find each other again.

E.J: What motivates you?
S.W: Ice cream
E.J: That’s easy. Any special flavor?
S.W: Rocky Road…I can eat a gallon forever!

E.J: Well Samantha our readers will thank you as do I and we’re done. Thank you for all you do for Hear Us NOW!!! We know you will have a big impact as an advocate for change. PMA International appreciates you very much. Good luck in law school.
S.W Thank you. I love all the advocates at PMA everyone is so supportive. Thank you E.J. It was real.

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

September 25, 2014 at 8:50 am

Lundy Bancroft / Quote

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Lundy Bancroft quote with dog

Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

September 16, 2014 at 4:43 am

Unstoppable Mothers / Quote

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UNSTOPPABLEmoms

A Small Collection from PMA INTL’s “Love Letters to our Children” Campaign

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Below is a sample collection of original Protective Mother poems, and poems about motherhood from published authors.
Please join our Love Letters to our children event on facebook and our PMA International word press blog. We value your participation.

Protective Mothers Alliance International Facebook Event:
https://www.facebook.com/events/597929206912196/760200060685109/?notif_t=like
Protective Mothers Alliance International Web site/ blog – Word Press:
https://protectivemothersalliance.wordpress.com/love-letters-to-our-children/

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Mother

Your Mother is always with you.
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and
perfume that she wore.
She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.
She’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a
rainbow. She is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s crystallized in every teardrop.
A mother shows every emotion ………. happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy,
sorrow… and all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good
feelings in life. She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s
the map you follow with every step you take.
She’s your first love; your first friend, even your first enemy, but
nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space…not
even death!

Author: unknown

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“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love.
I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

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I miss my daughter so much. I miss her voice, her big brown eyes, her smile. I use to sing her upon request every night You are my sunshine and now that has been robbed from me.
C.N

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There are those who say that this is ordinary. But don’t let that fool you. “Mother” will always be the bravest, least ordinary, most difficult and utterly challenging career that anyone ever hopes to lay claim to.
While others might hear, “diaper-changer, food-maker, car-pooler, bottle-washer, laundry-doer, sweat pants-wearer, life-on-hold” wanna be doing anything else woman, the Truth, whether it feels like it some days or not, is that you are in fact a shelter from the storm.
You are a Cape of Good Hope.
You are a warrior who will battle for your children’s hearts, souls, attention, innocence, education and memories.
Go to battle my friends. This is your time.
We will hold strong on either side of you. We will pray over those bottles, through the dark watches of the night, when doubt comes and children break, when adults fail them, when they push and push as hard against us as that day we delivered them into the world we. will. not. be broken.
We may ache and see cracks tear through our hearts, but we will get up again tomorrow and load the clothes and the words that need to be said. Again and again and again.
And when the world tries to claw at them, to break them, to smash the beauty in them, may our walls hold true. May the lessons we’ve told, the truths we’ve lived, the life we’ve spoken into them come back easily, predictably, with wash and repeat ease.
Kingdom business. Jesus work. This shaping of souls. This raising tiny humans.
There are those that say that this is ordinary. Don’t buy that for a second.
Mighty. You are mighty, because you mother.
Mighty/ Lisa-joe Baker

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I write this, I am in tears. I want to hug you after all of these years. My heart is still broken, I wish the pain would go away. I miss your sweet smile and your laugh too. I wish you were closer so I could just hug you. I missed your voice change and all the young man stuff. I wanted to be with you through all of growing up but that was taken from me, it has been so rough. I love dearly with all of my heart. Please God let my son know how much he is loved!
L.S

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For my boys
By S.L
I love you.. you amazing boys..
I love you to the moon and stars
And beyond
My two brave children
Growing up to fast
With knowledge that exceeds your years
Of injustice that did you wrong
I saw you fight and stand your ground
To be trumpled on.. but you carried on
You are brave Young warroirs
Who said no more
With hearts of gold
I believed you boys.
In the face of the deep dark court
You stood your ground
I know you face the man behind the mask
I love you my children
Its never a life I wanted for you
One day you’ll be older
And your wish of peace in your life
Will come very true.
With love.. Mum

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It’s hard
by S.S
It’s hard to bear the pain alone
It’s hard to make your beds
And throw out the scraps of toys
That have no use now you are gone
It’s hard to get up every day
Without your warmth by my side
It’s hard to hear the house so still
Pull out from cupboard one set of clothes
One foot in front of the other
One task followed by the next
Focused on present so I can give you
The richness of mama not destroyed
I thought I would give up without you
I thought I would flee and turn away
Yet holding on greater to hope here am I
A strong woman and mother for you, I pray
Love you now and always

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Lundy Bancroft/ Quote

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

August 8, 2014 at 11:18 am

PMA International Spreads The L.O.V.E

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Expressing our continued thanks, appreciation and love to all PMA International Members/Supporters and Protective Moms. We love you most.
L.O.V.E

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

August 8, 2014 at 10:57 am

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