Protective Mothers' Alliance International

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Love Doesn’t Isolate ( Tony Gaskins Quote)

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

November 7, 2017 at 6:36 am

30 Shocking Domestic Violence Statistics That Remind Us It’s An Epidemic/ HuffPost

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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during the war.

Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men. Too many women have been held captive by domestic violence — whether through physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse or a combination of all three.

We are inundated with news stories about domestic violence, from athletes beating their significant others in public elevators or in their own homes to celebrities publicly abusing their girlfriends. This problem is not one that will go away quickly or quietly.

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to an end, discussions about intimate partner abuse and its horrible repercussions should not. In an attempt to illustrate the gravity of abuse all genders (but largely women) face in the U.S., we rounded up 30 statistics on domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not a singular incident, it’s an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture — and these numbers prove that.

3

The number of women murdered every day by a current or former male partner in the U.S.

38,028,000

The number of women who have experienced physical intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

4,774,000

The number of women in the U.S. who experience physical violence by an intimate partner every year.

1,509

The number of women murdered by men they knew in 2011. Of the 1,509 women, 926 were killed by an intimate partner and 264 of those were killed by an intimate partner during an argument.

18,000

The number of women who have been killed by men in domestic violence disputes since 2003.

1 in 4

The number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

1 in 7

The number of men who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

8,000,000

The number of days of paid work women lose every year because of the abuse perpetrated against them by current or former male partners. This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs.

40-45

The percentage of women in physically abusive relationships who are raped and/or assaulted during the relationship.

18,500,000

The number of mental health care visits due to intimate partner violence every year.

$948

The average cost of emergency care for intimate partner violence-related incidents for women. The average cost for men is $387.

2 in 5

The number of gay or bisexual men who will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

50

The percentage of lesbian women who will experience domestic violence (not necessarily intimate partner violence) in their lifetimes.

81

The percentage of women who are stalked by a current or former male partner who are also physically abused by that partner.

70

The percentage of women worldwide who will experience physical and/or sexual abuse by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.

98

The percentage of financial abuse that occurs in all domestic violence cases. The number one reason domestic violence survivors stay or return to the abusive relationship is because the abuser controls their money supply, leaving them with no financial resources to break free.

$5,800,000,000

The estimated cost of incidents of intimate partner violence perpetrated against women in the U.S. in 1995 alone.

21

The number of LGBT people murdered by their intimate partners in 2013. Fifty percent of them were people of color. This is the highest documented level of domestic violence homicide in the LGBT community in history.

2.6x

The amount of times more likely a transgender person of color is to become a victim of intimate partner violence than a non-LGBT person.

70x

The amount of times more likely a woman is to be murdered in the few weeks after leaving her abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship.

10,000,000

The number of children exposed to domestic violence every year.

25

The percentage of physical assaults perpetrated against women that are reported to the police annually.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website

PMA International- Hero Protective Moms

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 Protective Mothers are Heroes. You have our love and support, always

 

What Is Stalking? / Stalking Resource Center

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Below is an excerpt from the Stalking Resource Center. This site is very informative with helpful tips and valuable resources. Please visit the site for more information if you or someone you know is being stalked.

What is Stalking?

While  legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to another, a good working definition of stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time.

Some things stalkers do:

  • Follow you and show up wherever you are.
  • Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
  • Damage your home, car, or other property.
  • Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
  • Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go.
  • Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
  • Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
  • Find out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers.
  • Posting information or spreading rumors about you on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
  • Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.

You are not to blame for a stalker’s behavior.

Stalking Victimization

  • 7.5 million people are stalked in one year in the United States.
  • Over 85% of stalking victims are stalked by someone they know.
  • 61% of female victims and 44% of male victims of stalking are stalked by a current or former intimate partner.
  • 25% of female victims and 32% of male victims of stalking are stalked by an acquaintance.
  • About 1 in 5 of stalking victims are stalked by a stranger.
  • Persons aged 18-24 years experience the highest rate of stalking.
  • 11% of stalking victims have been stalked for 5 years or more.
  • 46% of stalking victims experience at least one unwanted contact per week.

[Matthew J. Breiding et al., “Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization – National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011”, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Vol. 63, No. 8 (2014): 7]

[Katrina Baum et al., (2009). “Stalking Victimization in the United States,” (Washington, DC:BJS, 2009).]

If you are being stalked, you may:

  • Feel fear of what the stalker will do.
  • Feel vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust.
  • Feel anxious, irritable, impatient, or on edge.
  • Feel depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry.
  • Feel stressed, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things.
  • Have eating problems, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or overeating.
  • Have flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, feelings, or memories.
  • Feel confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.

These are common reactions to being stalked.

Impact of Stalking on Victims

  • 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next. [Baum et al., (2009). “Stalking Victimization in the United States.” BJS.]
  • 29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop. [Baum et al.]
  • 1 in 8 employed stalking victims lose time from work as a result of their victimization and more than half lose 5 days of work or more. [Baum et al.]
  • 1 in 7 stalking victims move as a result of their victimization. [Baum et al.]
  • The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involves being followed or having one’s property destroyed. [Eric Blauuw et al. “The Toll of Stalking,” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 17, no. 1(2002):50-63.]

Stalking and Intimate Partner Femicide*

  • 76% of intimate partner femicide victims have been stalked by their intimate partner.
  • 67% had been physically abused by their intimate partner.
  • 89% of femicide victims who had been physically assaulted had also been stalked in the 12 months before their murder.
  • 79% of abused femicide victims reported being stalked during the same period that they were abused.
  • 54% of femicide victims reported stalking to police before they were killed by their stalkers.

*The murder of a woman.

[Judith McFarlane et al., “Stalking and Intimate Partner Femicide,” Homicide Studies 3, no. 4 (1999).]

Stalkers

A stalker can be someone you know well or not at all. Most have dated or been involved with the people they stalk. Most stalking cases involve men stalking women, but men do stalk men, women do stalk women, and women do stalk men.

  • 2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily, using more than one method.
  • 78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.
  • Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases.
  • Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before.
  • Intimate partner stalkers frequently approach their targets, and their behaviors escalate quickly.

[Kris Mohandie et al., “The RECON Typology of Stalking: Reliability and Validity Based upon a Large Sample of North American Stalkers,” Journal of Forensic Sciences 51, no. 1 (2006).]

Stalking Laws

  • Stalking is a crime under the laws of all 50 states, the District of Columbia, the U.S. Territories, and the Federal government. Click here for a compilation of state, territory, tribal, and federal laws.
  • Less than 1/3 of states classify stalking as a felony upon first offense.
  • More than 1/2 of states classify stalking as a felony upon second offense or subsequent offense or when the crime involves aggravating factors.
  • Aggravating factors may include: possession of a deadly weapon, violation of a court order or condition of probation/parole, victim under 16 years, or same victim as prior occasions.

What Is Stalking? / Stalking Resource Center

 

 

 

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

April 30, 2017 at 12:39 am

I am Forever Changed ( Poetry and Picture Quote) / Love Letters To Our Children

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https://www.loveletterstoourchildren.wordpress.com

_I-am-forever-changed-Love-Letters

” My Daughters-

Can you feel me when I dream of you?

Does your heart feel my heart as it reaches for you,

tugs at you in the night?

Does your soul hear my pain as it howls at the wind?

Missing you, loving you,

Grieving the loss of you in my life,

I am forever changed

You are never forgotten and always loved.”

© D.L 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

Love Letters Disclaimer

PIXABLE DATA: These Are The Most Dangerous States In America To Be A Woman/ Pixable

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http://www.pixable.com/article/the-most-dangerous-states-in-america-to-be-a-woman-69100?utm_medium=partner&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=pixlssocial

Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted in the U.S.A. This statistic from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence may seem shocking, but not when you take into account that one third of American women will be sexually assaulted within their lifetime — one third. That means one out of every three women you know (your sisters, daughters, mothers and friends) will likely fall victim to this awful crime.

The true scope of how many women have been attacked or victimized, especially by people they know, is terrifying. What’s even more terrifying is everything we don’t know. The last published results of the National Intimate Partner and Violence Survey are from 2010.

The closest we could get to finding real, recent answers on the frequency of sexual assault and rape in the last couple of years is from the FBI. The legal definition of rape was recently changed to include both male and female victims, but the FBI still includes statistics of the legacy definition (female victims only) in their annual crime report. We expected the FBI’s crime report to more or less match the figures from the CDC’s 2010 survey, but we noticed a drastically low number of rape victims — roughly 26 women per 100,000 people.

That’s when we realized a key fact. The FBI is basing their figures on arrests and convictions, excluding statutory rape and incest and only documenting “forcible rape.” The sad truth is that most rapes go unreported — with forcible rapes making up only a fraction of all reported rapes — and even less rapists are actually convicted. According to RAINN less than half of all rapes are reported, only 12% of what is reported actually leads to an arrest and only 3% of rapists see punishment for their actions.

When it comes to violence against women, not every zip code is equal, and some places are more dangerous than others. We’ve examined statistics from the FBI, the CDC’s 2010 comprehensive National Intimate Partner And Violence Survey and the U.S. Census Bureau to narrow down the most dangerous places for women in the United States from 2010 – 2014.
One out every six women in the U.S.A. was a victim of an attempted or completed rape in 2010.

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 3.27.35 AM

Places like Alaska and Oregon hold the highest rates of rape against women, whereas states like Virginia and California hold some of the lowest rates. The 2014 information from the FBI also shows a different perspective than that of the above statistics from the CDC. While many of the same states are still on the top 10 list, some new states appear as well. This could be for a number of reasons. There could have been an increase or decrease in crime in the last four years among certain states or some states could just have a higher rate of conviction due to differing justice systems.
The 10 states with the largest percentage of women in 2010 who said they were raped in their lifetime are:

1. Alaska (21%)
2. Oregon (21%)
3. Michigan (20%)
4. Nevada (18.8%)
5. New Hampshire (18.7%)
6. Oklahoma (18.6%)
7. Washington (18%)
8. Colorado (18%)
9. Minnesota (16.9%
10. Connecticut (16.9 %)
In 2014, These were the states with the most rapes per 100,000 according to the FBI

1. Alaska (75.3)
2. New Mexico (51.4)
3. South Dakota (48.4)
4. Montana (42)
5. Michigan (40.9)
6. Arkansas (39.8)
7. Colorado (39.6)
8. North Dakota (37.3)
9. Kansas (37)
10. Arizona (36.6)
Sexual crimes against women (other than rape) are even more commonplace. These results from the 2010 CDC report are eye-opening.

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 3.15.21 AM

At the lowest rate, which occurs in Louisiana, 22% of women have experienced sexual violence other than rape. Most states fall somewhere between the 30 and 35% mark, while others like Oregon see 43% of women falling victim to non-rape sexual violence. The 10 states where women are most frequently sexually assaulted are:

1. Oregon (43.3%)
2. Alaska (42%)
3. Maryland (41.9%)
4. New Hampshire (40.8%)
5. Washington (40.5%)
6. Illinois (38.6%)
7. North Carolina (38.3%)
8. New York (38%)
9. Connecticut (37.2%)
10. Kentucky (36.8%)
One of the most obvious ways to determine if a place is dangerous is by looking at the murder rate. The murder rate for females in 2010 was notably higher in certain states.

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 3.17.36 AM

States in the southern half of the United States have a notably higher murder rate among females than states in the northern half. Southern states also have looser gun laws.
According to the CDC, in 2010, the states with the most murders per 100,000 people are:

1. Louisiana (4.44)
2. Mississippi (4.13)
3. Alabama (3.85)
4. New Mexico (3.69)
5. South Carolina (3.57)
6. Arkansas (3.48)
7. Nevada (3.48)
8. Georgia (3.32)
9. Tennessee (3.1)
10. North Carolina (3.07)
Stalking doesn’t always lead to violence, but it can. Even still, stalking is far less common than sexual assault but worth mentioning. This is the percentage of women in 2010 who reported having been stalked in their lifetimes.

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 3.20.06 AM

In Kentucky, the state with the highest percent of incidents, 19% of women report being stalked. Most states see an 11-13% rate of stalking, while the states with the lowest instances, Wisconsin and Virginia, see a rate of 9.8% and 8.6% respectively. The states with the highest percentage of women who have been stalked are:

1. Kentucky (19%)
2. Alabama (18.4%)
3. Nevada (17.7%)
4. Oklahoma (16.6%)
5. New Mexico (16.4%)
6. North Carolina (16%)
7. Tennessee (15.3%)
8. Wyoming (15.2%)
9. Mississippi (15.1%)
10. Pennsylvania (15%)

Four out of every five assaults are committed by someone the victim already knows (a friend, boyfriend, acquaintance, etc), and one third of women are assaulted by an intimate partner. The 2010 report shows the sheer number of women who reported being assaulted by an intimate partner within their lifetimes.

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Considering 94% of women who are murdered and four fifths of women who are raped are attacked by someone they know, these statistics are particularly telling. These states have the highest percentage of women who have been raped, physically assaulted, or stalked by an intimate partner.

1. Oklahoma (36.8%)
2. Nevada (34.8%)
3. North Carolina (33%)
4. Michigan (32.5%)
5. Washington (32.4%)
6. Maryland (32%)
7. New Hampshire (32%)
8. Alaska (32%)
9. South Carolina (31.7%)
10. Tennessee (30.6%)
When labeling the most dangerous places for women, it may also be important to consider a woman’s mental health. A cluster of states seem to have had a notably higher suicide rate between 2004 and 2010.

If the attack is on oneself, versus a homicide or physical assault from another party, does it still count? Regardless of genetic predisposition to depression and self-harm, situations that lead a woman to suicide are perhaps indicators of an unhealthy environment.

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States with highest rates of suicide per 100,000 people are:
1. Alaska (9.62)
2. Nevada (9..62)
3. Wyoming (8.19)
4. New Mexico (8.06)
5. Montana (7.96)
6. Colorado (7.76)
7. Oregon (7.23)
8. Arizona (7.18)
9. Florida (6.40)
10. Idaho (6.31)
The problem is still growing, which is why we need more information.

Despite the most comprehensive and accurate report being from 2010, the frequency of rape among women has not decreased. According to the FBI, the figures rose 1.6% between 2013 and 2014. This leads us to the question, why isn’t there a more recent CDC study on domestic abuse if the problem is growing? How many women will really be assaulted (sexually or otherwise) in their lifetimes? How many women were actually affected within the last year alone and didn’t report it to the police?

Perhaps if people are more aware of the massive scale of the problem, it could help lead to a change. For every woman who says it can never happen to me, who truly believes it’s only a problem for a few unfortunate people, there is another woman who understands that it can happen to anyone and it does happen to anyone, even if she remains silent in her understanding.

There is help out there for women who find themselves in trouble. If you need help and you’re in the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) for the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Settlement in New York Domestic Violence Case May Set Broader Precedent/ NYTimes.com

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http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/19/business/settlement-in-new-york-domestic-violence-case-may-set-broader-precedent.html?_r=2

The New York State attorney general has reached a potentially significant settlement with Bon-Ton Stores, which has more than 200 department stores across the northern part of the country, over a workplace discrimination complaint filed by a victim of domestic violence

The settlement, to be announced on Thursday, stems from an episode in early October at the company’s store in Williamsville, N.Y., a suburb of Buffalo. It requires the company to educate all employees of its New York stores that victims of domestic violence are protected by state law against retaliation and harassment relating to their abuse.

In a possible violation of the law, the Bon-Ton employee was sent home by a manager shortly after revealing that her estranged husband had threatened her life the day before. Under the terms of the settlement, Bon-Ton did not admit any wrongdoing, but agreed to change its policy so that employees in a similar situation are not required to procure a protective order to stay on the job.

“Victims of domestic violence face unspeakable hardships in every aspect of their personal lives,” the attorney general, Eric T. Schneiderman, said in a statement. “Our agreement with Bon-Ton Stores stands as a model for other employers.”

Experts on workplace discrimination hailed the settlement as an important step in protecting victims of domestic violence.

“It has a great value in spreading awareness about the law,” said Amanda Norejko, of Sanctuary for Families, an advocacy group and service provider for survivors of domestic violence. “Employers who are willing to flout the law will be given pause by the fact they know the attorney general’s office is investigating these things.”

Bon-Ton declined to comment on the case or the settlement agreement.

In a variety of studies over the years, victims of domestic violence have reported that the abuse interfered with their job performance and undermined their livelihoods. A significant fraction — as high as around 50 percent in some studies — reported having lost their jobs or being forced to quit at least partly as a result of the situation.

“It’s particularly an issue for workers at the lower end of the income spectrum,” said Maya Raghu, a lawyer with Futures Without Violence, a nonprofit that works to end violence against women and children. “They work shifts, don’t have a lot of control or benefits like paid leave, sick leave to deal with this.”

The law in New York, one of a handful of jurisdictions around the country to have enacted similar measures, prevents employers from firing or otherwise punishing employees on the basis of their having experienced domestic violence.

Unlike a similar New York City law, the state law does not explicitly require employers to make accommodations for employees who have experienced abuse — such as granting time off for medical treatment and to obtain protective orders against their abusers. But some of these steps may be necessary for an employer to demonstrate that it was handling the situation appropriately, experts say.

The episode involving Bon-Ton began on Oct. 9, when Jodi Porter, the employee, turned up for her shift as a saleswoman and informed store security officials that her estranged husband had threatened to kill her.

Ms. Porter said in an interview that, within an hour, the store had developed a safety plan that allowed her to go about her work. But shortly thereafter, the store manager told her to leave the store immediately. She was told to stay home until she checked in with the manager several days later, missing at least one more shift in the meantime.

When she spoke with the manager again, Ms. Porter said, she was told she could not return to work until she received a protective order against her husband, which was not immediately forthcoming because he had fled after a warrant for his arrest was issued. She was given no indication that her leave would be paid.

Ms. Porter contacted a hotline at the attorney general’s office on Oct. 13 regarding an unrelated issue and also mentioned her employment situation, which prompted the investigation. Bon-Ton informed her that it would pay her during the leave after she contacted the attorney general, and she was told she would be able to return to work less than one week after that.

The safety plan the store ultimately put into effect under pressure from the attorney general — including allowing her to park closer to the store, giving her access to a safe room to elude her husband and allowing her to use her cellphone while working in the event of a threat — was essentially the same plan the store proposed at the outset of the incident, Ms. Porter said.

She said that being unable to work created a level of emotional distress above and beyond the uncertainty of not knowing whether she would have a source of income.

“I went there going, everything is fine, everything is fine,” she said. “I was trying to go about my work, just do what I’ve got to do to take my mind off of everything.”

Instead, she added, being sent home “made me feel like a victim all over again. It was like a slap in the face.”

Advocates said one of the company’s key missteps was not having a policy in place to deal with such contingencies, leading to the confusion that surrounded Ms. Porter’s situation.

“You don’t want to have a low-level manager operating off the seat of their pants,” said Penny M. Venetis, the executive vice president and legal director of Legal Momentum, a group that works on a broad range of gender equity issues, include domestic violence.

Ms. Venetis said that sending home a worker who has been threatened by a partner was often the most dangerous response an employer could choose. The employee may be less safe alone at home than at work, and the loss of a livelihood can make abused partners even more dependent on their abusers.

Ms. Porter “acted responsibly for reporting it,” Ms. Venetis said. “The actions Bon-Ton took discourage people from coming forward.”

The law in New York and many other states does not necessarily require that employers always allow victims of violence to return to work, some experts say. There may be instances in which a violent threat is imminent and an employer reasonably concludes that the victim, fellow workers and customers may be safer if the abuse victim takes time off, said Jennifer Schwartz, an employment lawyer at Outten & Golden in California.

But in those instances, it is important for the employer to go out of its way to seek input from the employee in order to get a complete picture of the circumstances, including the employee’s needs.

“We’re not saying employers should become experts on sexual violence, stalking,” Ms. Raghu said. “Just that they should be supportive of people who are victims.”

Correction: November 18, 2015
An earlier version of a picture caption with this article misstated Ms. Porter’s status at Bon-Ton. She is a current employee, not a former one.

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Written by protectivemothersallianceinternational

November 20, 2015 at 6:19 am

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